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Being with someone who has depression

K

KateNeedsHelp

New member
Joined
Mar 24, 2019
Messages
2
Location
UK
I really don't know what to do anymore. I have suffered myself for many years and I still take medication for this but my partner is depressed and it's now starting to cause our relationship to break. We live together and I do everything for him and get nothing in return. His moods are so up and down and I try my best to not get angry as I know it isn't him it's his depression but I'm breaking myself to fix him and he's not even willing to seek help. I don't want to walk away but I don't know what else to do. Does anyone else have any advice on how to keep myself together as I don't want to lose myself and i don't want to walk away from my relationship either.
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
792
Location
California, USA
I'm sorry for what you are going through. Has he been diagnosed with depression?
 
megirl

megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
7,189
Location
NZ
Hi and welcome.
I'm sorry you are going through this.
It his responsibility to get help, hes the only one that can do this. You're there to support him, but at the end of the day he has to want to change.
You do also need to look after you first I know that that can be difficult, but you need to keep yourself well.
Have you suggested counselling? Does he see how this is affecting you both.
 
Y

Yodagirl

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2019
Messages
626
Location
Georgia USA
I really don't know what to do anymore. I have suffered myself for many years and I still take medication for this but my partner is depressed and it's now starting to cause our relationship to break. We live together and I do everything for him and get nothing in return. His moods are so up and down and I try my best to not get angry as I know it isn't him it's his depression but I'm breaking myself to fix him and he's not even willing to seek help. I don't want to walk away but I don't know what else to do. Does anyone else have any advice on how to keep myself together as I don't want to lose myself and i don't want to walk away from my relationship either.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. First and foremost you have to take care off yourself and your depression before trying to help him. You have your own issues and that’s what’s most important.Has he been to his GP and let them know how he’s currently feeling?
 
K

KateNeedsHelp

New member
Joined
Mar 24, 2019
Messages
2
Location
UK
I’m sorry you’re going through this. First and foremost you have to take care off yourself and your depression before trying to help him. You have your own issues and that’s what’s most important.Has he been to his GP and let them know how he’s currently feeling?
He has spoken to his GP I went with him and honestly the gp did nothing so we found a private therapist but all he has to so is call them and so far he hasn't and the more I mention it the more he seems disinterested in calling. I'm at a loss
 
Y

Yodagirl

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2019
Messages
626
Location
Georgia USA
He has spoken to his GP I went with him and honestly the gp did nothing so we found a private therapist but all he has to so is call them and so far he hasn't and the more I mention it the more he seems disinterested in calling. I'm at a loss
It’s terrible that his GP didn’t do anything. Therapist is a great idea, but it gave me such anxiety it took MONTH for me to actually schedule it. My therapist is amazing. Wish I would have started sooner. Hopefully he’ll reach out to the therapist soon. 😊
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
792
Location
California, USA
Kate, it's frustrating! You can't make people do things, even if it is to their benefit. You just have to take care of yourself. Maybe suggest marriage/partner counseling? He would go with you, that might help.
 
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