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Being Triggered, Help!

Shiro

Shiro

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
130
Location
Georgia, USA
I guess to some extent I'm asking for advice, but also asking if this is "normal" with anxiety.

To some extent my fiance will do things on purpose because he finds them funny even if I say "That's giving me anxiety" or "That's triggering me."

Two examples from tonight:
I had to walk to the neighbor's house with him in the dark and he said he was gonna turn around, knowing I fear the dark and I told him "I will have a panic attack if you do." He kind brushed it off, but he stopped and just walked with me.

He was playing with him little brother with a fake gun. I came up to him and he was "joking" by putting it in his mouth and shooting it and holding it to his head and shooting it. I told him it was bothering me. He then came into our room, and brought it with, and did the same thing while sitting beside me. "You're triggering me." He just ignored it and laughed. "I will start crying right now if you take the gun out of the room." "But you wanted me in here." "I wanted you, I don't want the gun in here, it's bothering me." And he stormed out of the room.

Now first off, I know what he's doing is not funny. He's not the only one I'm around that like to pick fun at me with the anxiety though. I want him to realize it really upsets me. But everyone else is likely to keep it up even if I tried to tell them how bad it is.

So what do I say when someone is triggering me to
1. make them stop and
2. for them not be mad about it?

And is it normal for these things to upset me so badly?
 
B

BennyB

Guest
My girl has things like that too and even thow I think it's funny to get such a reaction from her I think he might be trying to thicken your skin because he does not know how to make you better . It's a guy thing we do it to each other all the time but I think you need to stop asking him to stop and tell him how you feel when he does it and that way he will stop trying to do it . There is the posability that he is mad at you and doing it on Purpose in wich case you need to find out why
 
Shiro

Shiro

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
130
Location
Georgia, USA
I did talk to him about it, but I'm a bit worried he'll forget in a few days.
Like the dark thing wasn't so bad, it's just even the thought of a gun, real or fake, like that, just scared me.
I just couldn't handle it. And I thought he'd understand, instead it was a joke to him how "triggering" was punny.
Men are difficult! :p
 
Shiro

Shiro

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Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
130
Location
Georgia, USA
Anyone that doesn't agree clearly must live under a rock.
Because some I know are just so stubborn and determined.
 
Shiro

Shiro

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Messages
130
Location
Georgia, USA
I figured you were, if you do the same thing to your girl :p
 
B

BennyB

Guest
I haven't done it in a wile :) been trying to look at how I make people feel . But it's hard for me to tell sometimes
 
Shiro

Shiro

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Joined
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Messages
130
Location
Georgia, USA
Ask them. I usually ask people if I really care how I affect them.
Heck, I need to do that more often too.
 
B

BennyB

Guest
I'll try the thing is ATM I don't care about anything . It's not that I don't want to but I just don't and that's hopefully getting fixed soon :)
 
Shiro

Shiro

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 1, 2013
Messages
130
Location
Georgia, USA
Hopefully. Usually not caring is a sign you need to get better and care more! :p
 
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