Being treated differently because of you label

FadeToBlack

FadeToBlack

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2018
Messages
96
Location
UK
#1
Does any else feel the undertones of condescension from others who know you have a mental illness?

I find this a lot, but I am interested to know if this is experienced more widely?

Health professionals I have found are the worst. They read your mental health history, and form an understanding of you as a person and use past happenings against you.

I also do not appreciate using your personal safety and that of others as a weapon to 'help' you. I do not appreciate this brand of help. I honestly think that when they talk to me, they use my illness and my symptoms as an excuse to undermine me by saying things like 'only someone who is unwell would say that', or 'Your only angry because voices are telling you to be', or 'you're only saying this because you did not take your pills'.

I even got it from the guy at Mind who because I dropped out of a group, and wouldn't talk to him has now raised 'safeguarding concerns' with the Cmht. Even a charity behaves in the same way. I do not need others looking out for me like I do not have the ability to live. It's like they think because you have a mental illness that you're 'at risk' if you do not engage with others.

It's frustrating to be treated like this. I get it from family, health team and Mind. These are the only people in my life, and it gets really tiresome and I feel like a non-human and knee-capped every time I do or say anything.

:BLAH:
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,501
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
#2
FadetoBlack, I can feel your frustration at how people treat you. As soon as they learn your diagnosis, it's as if you are no longer an intelligent person. Last week my son came to visit and because I'm bipolar he is condescending to me; or maybe just because I'm his mom ?? He is overbearing/dominating. He doesn't bother to tune in and see who I am. I am invisible to him. He does not see my good qualities. He only sees my disabilities. It is frustrating trying to talk to him as he dismisses everything I try to point out.
 
FadeToBlack

FadeToBlack

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2018
Messages
96
Location
UK
#3
I am sorry your son spoke to you like that. I don't speak to my mum right all the time, but it's usually when the above happens that I get angry - so different I guess.

I hope he can see past the diagnosis in time. It really does not define you as a person, it's just something that has to be managed and dealt with like anything else health related.

I honestly don't know what to do. I am just going to have to keep fighting it I guess like many others. It's a reductionist way of treating people by using a diagnosis against them in this way.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,501
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
#4
It really makes me feel stupid and misunderstood to have my own son talk to me in a domineering fashion. Like I'm an idiot.

Thanks for writing to me. Thanks for saying you are sorry he talked to me like that.
 
D

dommy

Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2018
Messages
14
#5
Does any else feel the undertones of condescension from others who know you have a mental illness?

I find this a lot, but I am interested to know if this is experienced more widely?

Health professionals I have found are the worst. They read your mental health history, and form an understanding of you as a person and use past happenings against you.

I even got it from the guy at Mind who because I dropped out of a group, and wouldn't talk to him has now raised 'safeguarding concerns' with the Cmht. Even a charity behaves in the same way. I do not need others looking out for me like I do not have the ability to live. It's like they think because you have a mental illness that you're 'at risk' if you do not engage with others.

It's frustrating to be treated like this. I get it from family, health team and Mind. These are the only people in my life, and it gets really tiresome and I feel like a non-human and knee-capped every time I do or say anything.

:BLAH:
Its called discrimination from others because they treat you differently than themselves and others. Including they may use mind play with you especially family or relatives. But it goes way beyond this, could be in grocery or other stores as well because there are always people in a department that surveilance the whole store while its opened. Theyre able to see everyone who walks in and if a person seems to look or be mentally ill, they may treat him or her differently, even possible they don't want him or her shopping in their store for doing nothing wrong.
 
Last edited:
D

dommy

Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2018
Messages
14
#6
Its called discrimination from others because they treat you differently than themselves and others. Including they may use mind play with you especially family or relatives. But it goes way beyond this, could be in grocery or other stores as well because there are always people in a department that surveilance the whole store while its opened. Theyre able to see everyone who walks in and if a person seems to look or be mentally ill, they may treat him or her differently, even possible they don't want him or her shopping in their store for doing nothing wrong.
I also notice banks do all of that quite alot to people whom they think may be mentally ill or something else when they open an account, need a loan or open/withraw or renew gics.
 
Last edited:
FadeToBlack

FadeToBlack

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2018
Messages
96
Location
UK
#7
I guess you have a pretty valid point. I don't experience it much because if I am not working I spend all my time behind a computer.

If it wasn't the case, I think I would have been at least able to make friends. People just say I am too quiet and don't talk much. Probably because of issues, but they always point it out when or if I meet new people
 
R

Rosa-Brown

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2018
Messages
4
Location
United State
#8
I understand because it happens with the many people, the reason behind this behaviours is mentality. Few people and even family members do not understand what you are facing or feeling while suffering from mental illness.
 
Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 7, 2018
Messages
1,090
Location
Afar
#9
Not many people know, but every time I've had a suicide attempt or just start going through a depressive episode I end up losing the majority of the friends I gained or they just immediately lose interest then when I bring it up to them they act as if I'm just paranoid, but I always end up being right
 
R

Rosa-Brown

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2018
Messages
4
Location
United State
#10
You can join nature camps, it will help you to make your mind relax and heal your mental stress. I think this one is the good option for you.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
420
Location
California, US
#11
It can be so hard to get people to see me beyond my symptoms. I am not my illness, though sometimes people will treat me as if there's no "me" up in here. It's not helpful, it's often hurtful. I deal with it by trying to make them address me in addition to my collection of disorders.
 
Alendoiro

Alendoiro

New member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Orlando, Fl
#12
I totally get what you all are saying, and yes there is a lot of truth to it. I am a mental health professional and (like most who have studied Psych) have my own issues with depression and anxiety and PTSD. You are absolutely right when I talk to counterparts, some have very hard-line views and preconceived notions. That's where I strive to be different. And I do say strive.
I never look at someone's diagnosis by someone else before talking with them first. I don't want anything to color my impressions. I've worked in locked units so I have seen people diagnosed with EVERYTHING in the DSM. People are so often misdiagnosed. I think mainly because when they bill to insurance companies they have to say something. That's why IMHO I feel that you shouldn't put too much stock into your diagnosis. Unless you need medication and it helps. But that is as far as you should take it. Take it as prescribed, but don't feel trapped in to one professional, seek out professionals that help you and make you feel valued. They are out there! Your feelings are vital to your well being.

And as far as family and friends go, if you can open a good dialog with them to help them understand your feelings and how you would like to be talked to is a good first step. There's no reason not to be treated with respect and your ideas listened to. This one is hard. Seek out ways that will correspond with the way you communicate to find ways. It's the only way to deal.

Please let me know if I wasn't clear. Sometimes I can get in a rant and ... well need I say more :)
. Not what you think.JPG
 
I

indigo6

Member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
16
Location
UK
#13
Very much. I try not to tell anyone after all why should my business be everyone elses. I also try to not talk about it because
1. I dont want it to define me
2. It will be wasted on insensitives
3. I dont want it used as an excuse against me
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,501
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
#14
I've been very fortunate to meet people who aren't bothered in the least by my bipolar diagnosis. I have close friends and family who completely accept it as a little part of me. Only my sister will attack me once a year or so and accuse me of being manic when I'm being assertive by way of response to her domineering attitude.

I never tell people about it when we first meet.

There's an old black man whom we are very friendly with, who worked with my bf for twenty years in the carpet store but his wife found out that I was working on a book about mental hospitals. She kept saying to me, "Why do you spend your time writing about crazy people ?" and "They need Jesus." Oh, boy.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
4,100
Location
hiding behind the sofa
#15
hi Poopy Doll I stopped talking to my sister because of her attitude to me. if I stood up for myself and wouldn't take her nonsense she would tell me I was manic and needed to be in hospital , when I was only disagreeing with her. My closest of friends all have some form of mental health problem and non of them judge me.
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,501
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
#16
hi daffy. It seems we share the low man on the totem pole position in our respective families. I hate when my sister gets all critical parental in my face. The only reason I'm speaking to her at all now is because I have to go in for a major operation and I called to let her know. I'm glad you have good friends, daffy. Friends are better than family for me.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
420
Location
California, US
#17
I suppose I'm more open about my illnesses to everyone. I'd rather they know because it gives me an opportunity to represent, maybe dispel some misconceptions, coax someone suffering in silence to open up or explain why I went all invisible for years. It's also a safety behavior, to be honest.

I can behave this way, in part, because where I live mental health is a pretty open topic and many people are receiving therapy or know someone who is. I don't meet many truly clueless people. Yet I'm sorry to say, mental illness stigma is very much alive in my world and I probably ought to dial back the "ambassador of mental illness" shtick just a bit.

I haven't always used my best judgment about revealing personal information like this.
 
M

mowhead

Guest
#18
Very much. I try not to tell anyone after all why should my business be everyone elses. I also try to not talk about it because
1. I dont want it to define me
2. It will be wasted on insensitives
3. I dont want it used as an excuse against me
 
M

mowhead

Guest
#19
maybe I should learn from your example and not tell people my business because its true your wasting your breathe on insentive people but those people are upsetting
 
R

ramboghettouk

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2008
Messages
14,703
Location
london
#20
this women in my mind group was pointing me out as mentally ill in my unemplyment group i go to, to be fair it probably was out already i wonder why mentally ill people do it to other mentally ill people, it's happened a lot, i think it's to draw attention away from themselves

it's hard to hide it if you go to mental health groups with people pointing each other out
 

Similar threads