Being Too Honest With Bipolar Disorder and the Consequences That It Caused

[kilroywashere21]

In 2018, I started to become open about my struggles with Bipolar I Disorder on my finsta that’s followed by my classmates in high school. My main goal was to come out and inform them about my struggles. I told them my symptoms (mania, depression, paranoia, aggression, excessive envy, making dumb decisions).

At first I thought that what I was doing was good. But within the next few days, weeks, and months there was pushback. Classmates started to shun me. People who used to wave to me in the hallways didn’t even look at me. Two people blocked me on both Instagram and Snapchat. And of course I lost a couple of followers. However, there have been people who’ve come out and supported me. And the two guys who I’ve been friends with since elementary school have stayed by my side.

Unfortunately I fit the bipolar stereotype. That we are all violent and pose a threat. I have a tendency to have really violent intrusive thoughts But these come and go within a few seconds. I also have a history of blacking out even though it only happened one time. One afternoon in therapy circle in 2016, a kid purposely splashed paint over my head. I picked up aN implement and that’s the last thing I remember. I hurt him so severely that he had to go get stitches and I had to stay overnight a psychiatric hospital. Like I said, it only happened one time. After the incident I got a major medicine increase.

I often think about what my social life and reputation would’ve been like if I had just kept my mouth shut instead of pouring my heart out and being honest.
But I can’t really blame people for notwanting to have anything to do with me. I’ve provided them with a wealth of reasons not to. I brought that on myself.

Currently I’m in my senior year of high school. Once I graduate, I won’t have see my shunners anymore.

 

[shikiraclare]

I am so very sorry to hear of your experiences of online/school yard bullying - absoloutely disgraceful behaviour of so-called familiar friends.

Having any mental-health issues is a challenging situation in any social setting and does not help with self-belief and individual confidence. It is so important that you can build a strong rapport with other young people of similar age - even if not at school/college. I think you might be surprised by just how many young people like yourself have the same condition in the 21st century.

Being bipolar is not a rare mental-health phenomena as it once was in the past, yet seeking social acceptance and approval is a very different matter entirely - yet acceptance of yourself is of most importance as you have the very same ambitions and life-goals as anyone else in this brief life. There are a growing number of mental-health awareness groups out there who have professional/creative schemes for younger people to engage in broader life goals, I think you should research and possibly join in any classess designed for people just like yourself - bright, capable and very enlightened.

 

[NoOne5]

Honey. I think it would be better for us to close our book. Let no one read us.

 

[Ruma55]

When I was first diagnosed 12 years ago I did the same thing, I wasn't ashamed and felt like I could be an ambassador for bipolar disorder and teach people about it. I also felt like if people knew they would be able to better understand why I did some of the things I did.

The same thing happened to me - people either shunned me, or pitied me, or they would say dumb things like "oh I know, I'm so bipolar too!". The worst are the people who try to convince you that there's really nothing wrong with you and your just brainwashed by big pharma... You know - if you just eat right and exercise you'll be fine.

Over time I realized that it's really best just to keep it to yourself. Focus on self care and taking your meds so you don't have any episodes and go on with your life. I'm also a drug addict and I tried the whole 'open about recovery' honesty thing with that too with horrible results.

When you're mentally ill (or a drug addict) you're never allowed to have a bad day. It's all people see. If you're tired or grumpy or just having a bad day they automatically assume you're having an episode, or your high, etc. It's sad that that's the way it is, but trust me, it's best to keep it to yourself and a few very close supportive friends or family members.

 

[kilroywashere21]

I am so very sorry to hear of your experiences of online/school yard bullying - absoloutely disgraceful behaviour of so-called familiar friends.

Having any mental-health issues is a challenging situation in any social setting and does not help with self-belief and individual confidence. It is so important that you can build a strong rapport with other young people of similar age - even if not at school/college. I think you might be surprised by just how many young people like yourself have the same condition in the 21st century.

Being bipolar is not a rare mental-health phenomena as it once was in the past, yet seeking social acceptance and approval is a very different matter entirely - yet acceptance of yourself is of most importance as you have the very same ambitions and life-goals as anyone else in this brief life. There are a growing number of mental-health awareness groups out there who have professional/creative schemes for younger people to engage in broader life goals, I think you should research and possibly join in any classess designed for people just like yourself - bright, capable and very enlightened.

Funny thing is I’ve never met anybody else with bipolar disorder. I’m sure I have but they probably don’t want to reveal themselves. It would be really nice to actually meet someone who’s going through the same struggles that I’m facing.

 

[Zana]

Funny thing is I’ve never met anybody else with bipolar disorder. I’m sure I have but they probably don’t want to reveal themselves. It would be really nice to actually meet someone who’s going through the same struggles that I’m facing.

That's exactly where this forum and the groups that Shikira mentioned come in to play!

Also, big respect to yourself and everyone else that has the stones to talk about their experiences to large audiences. As time rolls on this will become easier and there will be less backlash but we're not the only ones who've had to fight the 'stigma' battle. Think of all the racism black people have faced, the antisemitism towards Jewish people, homophobia, trans-phobia...to name but a few. My point here being we have so many other groups of people with whom we can connect with over prejudice issues.

A message I can't help but pass on to those who suffer with mental health issues is that the view of the majority is that we are weaker than them for having these problems. However, the opposite is true. The fact that we keep going and trying to live our lives as normal as possible, keep dreaming and sometimes even having the courage to share our stories and smash the stigma - that makes us some of the strongest of all mankind.

God bless you all!

 

[Ruma55]

That's exactly where this forum and the groups that Shikira mentioned come in to play!

Also, big respect to yourself and everyone else that has the stones to talk about their experiences to large audiences. As time rolls on this will become easier and there will be less backlash but we're not the only ones who've had to fight the 'stigma' battle. Think of all the racism black people have faced, the antisemitism towards Jewish people, homophobia, trans-phobia...to name but a few. My point here being we have so many other groups of people with whom we can connect with over prejudice issues.

A message I can't help but pass on to those who suffer with mental health issues is that the view of the majority is that we are weaker than them for having these problems. However, the opposite is true. The fact that we keep going and trying to live our lives as normal as possible, keep dreaming and sometimes even having the courage to share our stories and smash the stigma - that makes us some of the strongest of all mankind.

God bless you all!

I wholeheartedly agree with you, people don't understand it but you have to be so much stronger to maintain a normal life when you have a mental illness. It's like we're running the same race as everyone else but with only one leg- it takes us a lot more strength and determination to get to the finish line.

 

[Earl J]

I think in life in life with the stigma our ailment carries we should keep our business to ourselves. In an ideal world we should be able to open up and tell everyone but unfortunately from the experiences in the posts above that is not the case. I have to laugh to myself when I’m in company and maybe there’s gossip going around about some person with mental health issues. The older people say “ah sure he’s bad with nerves” and the younger people say “he’s gone in the head” and just grin to myself and say if ye only knew that I’m one of the people ye are gossiping about

 

[SilSten]

I have chosen to be open about my diagnosis to family, friends and colleagues. Maybe I'm lucky, because I haven't lost anyone. Nobody treating me differently than before.

I'm thinking that if someone shuns you because of this, you don't need them in your life anyway. You have friends, and people who support you. Cherish them, and screw the shunners

 

[daffy]

I think the world is slowly changing its attitude to mental health now that so may famous people have opened up about it. And it show that you can have a career and be mentally ill at the same time. When i was younger i would only say i suffered depression when i was diagnosed bipolar with social anxiety. That has since changed to schitzoaffective and only two of my closest friends know of that.