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Being schizophrenic

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gwynn7

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Hello everyone I'm 25 I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder (schizophrenia with depression) with a side of anxiety. I'm much better than past years after taking medication for sometime but here are some symptoms I was/am having. Hearing voices while trying to sleep. The most times I heard voices were at night or when I got tired one time eminem was talking to me lol I was so excited I told my cousin thats one of the things that happen when you hear voices is it's mostly someone you know or close to eminem just happens to be my favorite rapper so after this I thought I had some connection with eminem (feeling of grandiuer) which is another symptom thinking your famous or somebody important in the eyes of the public. I ended up getting a music note tatted on my neck because of this don't get me wrong I do like music and love tattoos but I got the tattoo because I thought I had some secret connection with a few artists I would think they're talking to me and only me threw their music so yeah I actually stop listening to music and watching tv deactivated all my social media accounts because I got tired of the tv and music talking to me so I would just lay in bed all day starting at the ceiling thinking my mom is tryna poison me so I would only drink faucet water. (Paranoia) I don't think people are trying to kill me anymore but I do still think people can read my mind sometimes so I try to avoid public places where there are a lot of people or I still think like a random stranger is tryna make fun of me or plotting against me in some way so I'm a house cat I don't even like playing games were u can hear other people talking because I think in some way they know everything about me and they're talking about me which makes no sense from thinking cameras are in my vents to my bf who was in the army was spying on me. I'm actually the best I've been in years from my diagnoses like I can actually get out the house instead of staying in for months on time. So my suggestion for anyone who has it or think they have it get checked out and start your medication. One question I have is anyone else having the mind reading symptom and what do u do to cope
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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i dont know much about your condition ,but just wanted to :welcome: you to the forum ,im sure you will get lots of good advise soon ,love from fairy lu xx
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Hi gwynn7. Welcome to the forum I have schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type). Lots of friendly helpful people on the forum. There is a section for Schizoaffective disorder under Other Conditons.

I do have the mind reading stuff sometimes. Haven't found a way to deal with it, at least it isn't all the time. I try to tell myself it can't be real. Sometimes I believe it!
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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Hi and welcome to the forum. Like the way you described your individually unique diagnoses of scitzo affective. "with a side of". Look forward to seeing your posts. Think you'll find many here who can relate.
 
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gwynn7

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Thanks everyone for the friendly welcomes 😊

SarahD I was looking for schizoaffective but I'm still getting use to the site so I don't really know how to find different threads yet :/
 
SarahD

SarahD

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Hi again - don't worry, you'll soon get used to where everything is, and you can post anywhere you think is most appropriate for what you want to say. There are more general sections too. Schizoaffective is two down from Schizophrenia, under Other Conditions.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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Nice to see you again Gwynn. How are you doing today? A lot of scitzoaffectives post here as well as the subforum for scitzoaffective Sarah just pointed out. It's easier to find the subforums too if your viewing the full site rather than the mobile app menu.
You'll get the hang of it soon. There's lots of sections of the forum you can post in too. A lot of members hang out in the chill out section as well, Hope your coping well today. My son JS has scitzoaffective as well. His is persistant paranoid obsessive thoughts, voice hearing with bipolar mood hypermanic episodes sometimes though not the depressions his are anger and rage related. Everybody is uniquely different though.
 
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Mark_01

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I've often wondered if schizoaffective, schizophrenia, and bipolar are essentially the same mental condition. I've been diagnosed with all three, including psychotic disorder.

Welcome to the forum, gwynn7.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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I can tell you they aren't, there is dramatic differences between my two boys, JD's scitzophrenia is constantly there 24/7, he is always delusional, he has no paranoia's and no mood episodes or mania's of any kind. He also has marked decrease in intelligence and cognitive abilities since developing his disorder. He also has zero insight that he is ill and constantly thinks himself cured. His speech is also very disjointed and disorganized. There are milder forms of scitzophrenia the difference is there is no mood disorder with it as there is in scitzoaffective.

JS on the other hand never lost his intellectual capabilities, only loses insight when the manic bipolar episodes hit triggered by his persistant scitzoid delusional beliefs. For the most part he is aware that he is hearing voices and that something is not right with him. Since being stablilized with medication he has not had a manic episode in well over a year now. But his voice hearing continues and he has accepted that it is because of mental illness that he is hearing voices. Unless he is manic to most people JS would appear to be a normal functioning individual.

Hope this helps.
 
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Mark_01

Mark_01

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I am not sure what I am. I'm currently bipolar, but I wonder if that would change (again) if I get a different doctor at the Veterans' hospital. When I was in that special program where I saw a different intern every month, I had one say there was nothing wrong with me and that I was perfectly normal.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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The boys dad has hypermanic bipolar as well Mark, which for him was more the mood disorder swings with the paranoia's, he can go long periods between episodes and any delusional thinking or paranoia's without meds. The scitzoid delusions and paranoia's are only present when he is having a manic episode. His mood swings are more persistant than the scitzoid symptoms. Does that help.
 
Mark_01

Mark_01

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Not really. To me they are just different sides of the same coin. For many years in elementary and high school, I was kept in the dark, nobody told me anything. I just went to the psychiatrist like a good mental patient and for awhile took my medication, which I am taking again today. Having multiple diagnosis and being called crazy all my life makes it difficult for me to say, "I am this." It would have helped if the first psychiatrist I saw back in the 2nd or 3rd grade said it was this or that and it stuck for the rest of my life. Things keep changing and I wonder if it is all just the same thing.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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To be fair I've seen a lot of changes in diagnosing over the past 35 years, they definately take much more into consideration than they did in the past and sub catagories are being diagnosed much more acurately now than in the past and the evolution of medications has come a very long way to. But we are much more than the labels they do give us, the label is only for more effective medications to suit your symptom sets, for the doctors to prescribe from. I agree that noone should identify themselves by their diagnosed label any more than someone with a chronic physical illness would identify themselves. It is not how we should introduce ourselves and it's not our identity. Unless it's within the professional medical community and we need medications to stabilize those conditions as acurately as possible. The labels shouldn't be used at all out in real life with regular people in my opinion.
 
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Christobel

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Hello Gwynn7 and welcome to the forum. Like you I have been diagnosed schizoaffective depressive type. Before I was medicated I also had delusions of grandeur. I won't tell you who I thought I was, as you would laugh! I had hallucinations quite often. Sometimes a think psychosis is pretty amazing. I wonder how it comes about?
 
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