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being really sensitive

qwerty1234

qwerty1234

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 9, 2018
Messages
458
I have never written about something like this before...

I am learning about hsp and also openness as a personality characteristic, and it's been hard being me becuase I am really sensitive to emotional disconnection but also really hopeful and optimistic and open to stuff, so I get into problems where people don't share my beliefs and then I feel bad.

What is really bad is sometimes I don't know what to do with my feelings because I feel I may be misunderstood - if the other person doesn't care I feel even more shut out, and if the person cares I feel guilty becuase they have in the past felt bad and responsible for my pain.

I want to talk with people about how it is to be me, to feel so sensitive to every little thing, but I don't want people to feel bad, I just need some balance between cognition and emotion to analyze what the heck is going on with me, what thoughts are driving it, or what mechanisms biologically, and what I can do about it.

It affects my concentration- I think it means I am sensitive in a good way to subtleties in art and science, but it means that I get overloaded or flooded when things are too strong.

I am inordinately sensitive to rejection, though as I hate to admit given the stigma I feel, the meds seem to be helping a lot with that. In the past social interaction was dreadfully stressful to me, connection and perfectionism in interaction.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,258
I have a really hard time with intellect vs emotions. It can feel like I am two separate people at times. I’m quick to understand intellectually how I SHOULD be feeling, but it seems to take forever for the emotional side to clue in. It does ... eventually. Then it can feel like a punch to the gut. You’d think if I can intellectually understand, then it would prepare me for emotional arrival. It never does.

You talk about this duality. You’re not alone.

But if you are feeling unstable, you need to let go of how others feel. You are not the owner of their emotions. You are the owner of yours, and that’s it. Until you feel better, more secure, it’s ok for you to act/react and not worry about how it makes others feel. That’s on them.
 
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