• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Being kind to myself. How?

M

Miho

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Feb 13, 2021
Messages
337
Location
Netherlands
This is something I keep asking myself. I have bpd and some others and depression.

So I am at home a lot and then I think what to do to be kind to myself.

But every thought is ruined. Since I am a neat and tidy person at heart. And on the rare moments I am doing real well I tend to look after my home and its all good.

But now there is clutter. And if some people came over they would say what do you mean? It looks good. But its enough to hurt every positive thought. As I first feel the need to tidy and I have no energy for that.

How you you all make sure to do something nice for yourself without getting distracted or troubled by things?
 
sam999

sam999

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2020
Messages
128
Location
Canada
i bake a cake or cook something so i can share it with others, that way i do something good for myself but i also make other people happy:)
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
2,291
The best way to start is to talk to yourself as you would a good friend.

What would you tell a close friend going through similar struggles?

Extend that type of language and care to yourself.

Do it daily.

Then progress to recognizing at least one good thing in your life each day. It could be a good cup of coffee, a good night's sleep, a beloved pet. Make a conscious effort to notice what is good.

This will slowly rewire your brain and help with depression.

Self compassion is important to help with self soothing and coping. Google Dr. Kristen Neff for videos.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
4,801
Location
Canada
Know that you are doing your best with what you have. It's easy to say "I'm not good enough." But aren't we all coping as well as we know how? I believe almost everyone in this world is fighting a hard battle, even if it looks like things are good for them. I've never met a person without problems.
 
M

Miho

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Feb 13, 2021
Messages
337
Location
Netherlands
You all make good points. I even like baking and had a look to see if I had the things in my house but I dont. I do that on purpose because of my ED. But I like the idea.

And how is it that we can give advice to someone else but fail to do it for ourselfs?

Tbh I feel if I could get a proper long hug I would feel better already.
 
N

njmisdesperate

Active member
Joined
Jan 29, 2021
Messages
29
Location
United Kingdom
This is something I keep asking myself. I have bpd and some others and depression.

So I am at home a lot and then I think what to do to be kind to myself.

But every thought is ruined. Since I am a neat and tidy person at heart. And on the rare moments I am doing real well I tend to look after my home and its all good.

But now there is clutter. And if some people came over they would say what do you mean? It looks good. But its enough to hurt every positive thought. As I first feel the need to tidy and I have no energy for that.

How you you all make sure to do something nice for yourself without getting distracted or troubled by things?
I have d---------. But, my parents have blocked all website related to this on the VPN. So, I'm effectively stuck distracting myself with netflix & 'pretending' i'm doing okay on FB. Gosh, life is so hard. I've almost had it.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
2,291
Just discovered this resource to determine your self care/kindness/compassion.


Run by Dr. Neff, I adore her, she really is the guru of self compassion. Lots of resources here too.
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
C Am I being dramatic? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 6
L How can you tell if you are overreacting or if you're being normal? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 25
I help/ being insecure about yourself :D Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
K Being sectioned and medication Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 7
O Being taken seriously Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 18
O Being honest with work Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 9
S Is relationship paranoia part of BPD? Is this me being paranoid? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 62
B Getting over being in love Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 6
V Can I be honest without being judged here? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 8
W "I am sorry you..." (noticing certain phrases being used) Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 69
I How can I be okay with being alone? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 7
Z Being judged for not working full time Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 21
Riah3 am I being petty Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
Z What's the point in being social? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 33
G Experiences with realizing self destructive behavior/being abuser Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 4
S I tired of being tormented (suicidal thoughts) Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 1
B How do you get someone to stop being your favourite person? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 9
S I hate being compared to people including my dad Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 16
Riah3 Am I being too sensitive Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 9
S Kind of stuck... Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 2
C I want to kill myself Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 13
soulsearcher saw this and it really made me think about myself and other bpd sufferers Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 14
L I considered hurting myself tonight Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 16
L my opinion of myself is based on the opinion of others Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 5
T i scare myself, i am about to lose everything Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 12
Fairy Fountain I don't know how to stand up for myself. Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 27
R I hate myself Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 3
L Struggling to accept life after years of trying to kill myself. Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 12
UnstableSolace Letting myself get treated badly, help Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 7
L Comparing myself / getting angry about boyfriend's past Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 1
S I'm afraid of myself Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 12
V I tried to harm myself today... Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 7
Fairy Lucretia because i don't hurt myself as much Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 3
J Hurting myself Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 8
Fairy Lucretia i don't think i can give up hurting myself Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 2
O Struggling to forgive myself Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 34
S I'm taking a vow of silence (I feel ashamed of myself) Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 2
S I'm Fighting A Battle With Myself Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 1
P I don't feel like myself Borderline Personality Disorder Forum 11

Similar threads

Top