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Being kind to myself. How?

Miho

Miho

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Feb 13, 2021
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Netherlands
This is something I keep asking myself. I have bpd and some others and depression.

So I am at home a lot and then I think what to do to be kind to myself.

But every thought is ruined. Since I am a neat and tidy person at heart. And on the rare moments I am doing real well I tend to look after my home and its all good.

But now there is clutter. And if some people came over they would say what do you mean? It looks good. But its enough to hurt every positive thought. As I first feel the need to tidy and I have no energy for that.

How you you all make sure to do something nice for yourself without getting distracted or troubled by things?
 
sam999

sam999

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Dec 11, 2020
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72
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Canada
i bake a cake or cook something so i can share it with others, that way i do something good for myself but i also make other people happy:)
 
G

Girl interupted

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Joined
Nov 17, 2018
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2,282
The best way to start is to talk to yourself as you would a good friend.

What would you tell a close friend going through similar struggles?

Extend that type of language and care to yourself.

Do it daily.

Then progress to recognizing at least one good thing in your life each day. It could be a good cup of coffee, a good night's sleep, a beloved pet. Make a conscious effort to notice what is good.

This will slowly rewire your brain and help with depression.

Self compassion is important to help with self soothing and coping. Google Dr. Kristen Neff for videos.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
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Know that you are doing your best with what you have. It's easy to say "I'm not good enough." But aren't we all coping as well as we know how? I believe almost everyone in this world is fighting a hard battle, even if it looks like things are good for them. I've never met a person without problems.
 
Miho

Miho

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Feb 13, 2021
Messages
274
Location
Netherlands
You all make good points. I even like baking and had a look to see if I had the things in my house but I dont. I do that on purpose because of my ED. But I like the idea.

And how is it that we can give advice to someone else but fail to do it for ourselfs?

Tbh I feel if I could get a proper long hug I would feel better already.
 
N

njmisdesperate

Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2021
Messages
20
Location
United Kingdom
This is something I keep asking myself. I have bpd and some others and depression.

So I am at home a lot and then I think what to do to be kind to myself.

But every thought is ruined. Since I am a neat and tidy person at heart. And on the rare moments I am doing real well I tend to look after my home and its all good.

But now there is clutter. And if some people came over they would say what do you mean? It looks good. But its enough to hurt every positive thought. As I first feel the need to tidy and I have no energy for that.

How you you all make sure to do something nice for yourself without getting distracted or troubled by things?
I have d---------. But, my parents have blocked all website related to this on the VPN. So, I'm effectively stuck distracting myself with netflix & 'pretending' i'm doing okay on FB. Gosh, life is so hard. I've almost had it.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
2,282
Just discovered this resource to determine your self care/kindness/compassion.


Run by Dr. Neff, I adore her, she really is the guru of self compassion. Lots of resources here too.
 
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