Being Gentle and Kindhearted As a Target For Bullying.

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AnxiousHeart88

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#1
As the title says why is it that people insult and bully people expressing their soft nature in public? It seems being a peacekeeper is looked down on and people that are get targeted. For as long as I can recall people have picked on me for my quiet soft spoken nature. When I'd try to get out of a conflict or resolve one with friends or what have you.. I'd be called a 'pussy' or 'faggot'. Recently, I was petting and talking to a sick tom cat whom came over to me and started being affectionate and I happily reciprocated. When I was petting the cat a group of girls started chuckling at me and making derogatory statement about me among each other and they were making 'meow' noises constantly the whole time. Once I stopped and started walking to my apartment they kept at it, I look back and they called me a 'weird' and 'crazy *****' while laughing. WTH I just wanted to make the cat feel secure it looked sick, man I can't imagine the reaction if they seen me feed it. This type of thing has happened a lot is it normal. Why are so much people rude and un empathetic?

Sorry just ranting.
 
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blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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#2
Ah some peeps that is see kindness as weakness its usually the insecure peeps that need to divert attention froom their own life that are the ones that do this,

Have to have boundaries otherwise peeps will take the mick the bottom line is to not have peeps tell us what and how we should be, especially if we are kind and caring and some peeps cant deal with that and so they project their insecurity back onto us, gee cant find the fullstop tonight for some reason lol
 
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AnxiousHeart88

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#3
I'd hope someday they manage to find their soft side. If karma is real than they are setting themselves up for being treated uncompassionately in the future. People that scoff at the weak or at the peacemakers should feel what it's like to be in need of support and not find it or be scorned or made to feel uncomfortable and mocked in their time of vulnerability. I hate to say something like that but sometimes this stuff really bothers me.
 
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Candy19

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#6
As someone already said kindness is seen as a weakness and it can be, if you have no confidence and you're a nice person that can be easily manipulated by extremely horrible people. Even if you're a nice person, you need to be strong and firm at times when someone is making you uncomfortable or taking advantage. A lot of people think if they fight back or defend themselves then that will then make them a horrible person, which isn't true, be loving and understanding, but always have boundaries
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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#7
Sorry to read about what you went through. The truth is that you are strong and that being kind is a strength. Imagine a world where everyone was rude, horrible and only looked after themselves or their own group. The world would be fragmented perhaps and there could be many wars.
For me money doesn't make the world go round, it's kind people that does.

Don't change who you are because you don't owe anyone or the world anything.
 
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AnxiousHeart88

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#9
Thank you all for the positive replies. I really should learn to be assertive more with those that wrong me but man it sounds scary.
 
S

silly me

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#11
As the title says why is it that people insult and bully people expressing their soft nature in public? It seems being a peacekeeper is looked down on and people that are get targeted. For as long as I can recall people have picked on me for my quiet soft spoken nature. When I'd try to get out of a conflict or resolve one with friends or what have you.. I'd be called a 'pussy' or 'faggot'. Recently, I was petting and talking to a sick tom cat whom came over to me and started being affectionate and I happily reciprocated. When I was petting the cat a group of girls started chuckling at me and making derogatory statement about me among each other and they were making 'meow' noises constantly the whole time. Once I stopped and started walking to my apartment they kept at it, I look back and they called me a 'weird' and 'crazy *****' while laughing. WTH I just wanted to make the cat feel secure it looked sick, man I can't imagine the reaction if they seen me feed it. This type of thing has happened a lot is it normal. Why are so much people rude and un empathetic?

Sorry just ranting.
You did fine. If you would have retaliated and acted like them? They would have been as happy as hell. When it comes to groups and mean-girls? Walking away, or ignoring them is what bothers them the most.

There's the old saying about Pig Wrestling.

Never waste your time, wrestling with a pig. You both get dirty, and pig loves it..

I should know. I have to face this daily at the gym dealing with a different culture, as well as entitled/insecure, males. But i also know how and when to set those boundaries, as Melodiousa and others have mentioned in their post. And when i set them, i've studied these types long enough to expect retaliation, and i get it. And that has to be okay..

The boundary gets reset again, and again.. until they get bored, or wounded.

There's nothing wrong with being nice, caring and compassionate. But we are also equipped with tools such as our intelligence, and physical capability to protect ourselves. Our main objective in life is to know when and how to use them.

Someone once said:

Stop walking around being a "two mitt" person. You've never seen anyone in baseball wearing two catcher's mitts. They wear only one. One to catch sh**t, but they use their free hand to throw sh**t back..
 
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AnxiousHeart88

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#12
I must say that is a very helpful reply.:) I appreciate it so much thanks! Your right I should stay true to my nature overall but with a pinch more assertiveness when I need to be.

:peace:
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

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#13
Hi AnxiousHeart88,

You did nothing wrong. Insecure people will find any reason to put good people downx

Much love <3
 
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IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

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#14
I must say that is a very helpful reply.:) I appreciate it so much thanks! Your right I should stay true to my nature overall but with a pinch more assertiveness when I need to be.

:peace:
Being assertive is so scary at first. But you can feel so much better about yourself when you are assertive in most cases. :)
 
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AnxiousHeart88

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#16
Hi AnxiousHeart88,

You did nothing wrong. Insecure people will find any reason to put good people downx

Much love <3
Thanks, I feel better from all the positive comments!

Muck love to you too <3
 

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