Being gay in a small town. Loneliness is getting to me.

RoseGoldBoi

RoseGoldBoi

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#1
I'm 21 and have not been in a releationship yet. I live in a small town with heck all to do. Sometimes I'll go out to scope around for attractive dudes but it can be hard to leave the house knowing this is such a boring town with mostly non gay folk. Also I have a low IQ with ADHD so I don't have enough life skills to be a handsome charasmatic man who can just approach anyone on the street. I have resorted to those weird apps like grindr and also Craigslist but my mom found out and hasn't let me have a phone eversince. Those ppl I met were either not my type, kinda sketchy or old enough to be my dad. Been debating on going out today but Friday bus schedules suck and I don't want to wait for a bus even longer to anticipate something that's unlikely. Are there any gay ppl who relate?
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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#2
Have you tried online dating or does your mum not want you to date online? There's still plenty of time for you to meet someone, if that's what you want to do :hug: do you still live at home or do you have your own place? I'm assuming that you still live at home, from what you said, but i could be wrong :hug:
 
O

OCDguy

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#3
As it happens I can relate :) I'd imagine there are a lot of isolated areas in Canada... If that is the case perhaps think about spreading your wings...
 
RoseGoldBoi

RoseGoldBoi

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#4
Have you tried online dating or does your mum not want you to date online? There's still plenty of time for you to meet someone, if that's what you want to do :hug: do you still live at home or do you have your own place? I'm assuming that you still live at home, from what you said, but i could be wrong :hug:
Yeah I still live at home. I totally would but I'm at the mercy of her rule and all the doctors trying to diagnose me with something. Its good to be reminded that there's always time, especially at 21, so thanks.
As it happens I can relate :) I'd imagine there are a lot of isolated areas in Canada... If that is the case perhaps think about spreading your wings...
I wish I could but the main reason I got diagnose with a learning disability was because I was on those dating apps, and it was when I was 19. Ever since then I haven't been able to spread my wings and I'm at the mercy of my circumstances. I can't get a job because my mother put me on disability income. I had a job which I had to keep secret but when my witch of a parent found out she phoned my boss and quit for me. My confidence in life has been pummeled to the ground like dirt. Anyways if you read my long ass reply sorry for venting. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only lonely one :)
 
O

OCDguy

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#5
I think if I were faced with this situation I would bring these things up at my next private consultation :)
 
WhatsFriendship?

WhatsFriendship?

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#6
I don't know where you live but there is no hurry to jump into anything. You have a long life ahead of you. You should try to get free publications on everything gay including where you can find a gay friend your age. Dating when you can afford it can be very scarey. I live in the united states and You can't trust nobody. I know by your age that you need someone, you want someone to love you. You feel like you wanted to feel needed. Young guys start experimenting their sexuality at age 13 but for them there is nothing for them to do but wait it out to get much older. There are guys that won't tell you they have aids and won't wear protection because they don't care about anybody but themselves. When you get ready to date and get older they only thing for you to do is be careful. Guys are out to use other guys and hurt them at the end. Mr right does not exist. Forget about going to gay places when you can move out of your hick town to a bigger town or city. You won't find a guy in any of those gay places. You got a computer and you can find what you like on different websites. There is no rush to get a guy tie him down and think your in love with him then marry him cause you have a lot of time. Guys today all they want to do is play house fill another guys ears with lies then they cheat on them. Good luck and be careful with some of the websites you find.
 
RoseGoldBoi

RoseGoldBoi

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#7
I don't know where you live but there is no hurry to jump into anything. You have a long life ahead of you. You should try to get free publications on everything gay including where you can find a gay friend your age. Dating when you can afford it can be very scarey. I live in the united states and You can't trust nobody. I know by your age that you need someone, you want someone to love you. You feel like you wanted to feel needed. Young guys start experimenting their sexuality at age 13 but for them there is nothing for them to do but wait it out to get much older. There are guys that won't tell you they have aids and won't wear protection because they don't care about anybody but themselves. When you get ready to date and get older they only thing for you to do is be careful. Guys are out to use other guys and hurt them at the end. Mr right does not exist. Forget about going to gay places when you can move out of your hick town to a bigger town or city. You won't find a guy in any of those gay places. You got a computer and you can find what you like on different websites. There is no rush to get a guy tie him down and think your in love with him then marry him cause you have a lot of time. Guys today all they want to do is play house fill another guys ears with lies then they cheat on them. Good luck and be careful with some of the websites you find.
Thank you for your insight. The part about guys secretly having aids & don't use condoms is so true. I hooked up with this one man via craiglist whom I made it very clear that I am strict about condoms, while we were in bed I turn around & notice he wasn't wearing on at all . I didn't say anything because I didn't want be confontational & I was 19 at the time. It turns out he had an STD because I spoke to another dude who hooked up with him for months, so I got tested right away. Luckily I was fine but the close call made me very weary. Also lots of super good looking gay guys tend to be shallow & mean and you're right about how some of them are out to hurt others. Maybe I should suspend any pressure and not rush into anything I'll regret. Thanks for the advice.
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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London
#8
I'm 21 and have not been in a releationship yet. I live in a small town with heck all to do. Sometimes I'll go out to scope around for attractive dudes but it can be hard to leave the house knowing this is such a boring town with mostly non gay folk. Also I have a low IQ with ADHD so I don't have enough life skills to be a handsome charasmatic man who can just approach anyone on the street. I have resorted to those weird apps like grindr and also Craigslist but my mom found out and hasn't let me have a phone eversince. Those ppl I met were either not my type, kinda sketchy or old enough to be my dad. Been debating on going out today but Friday bus schedules suck and I don't want to wait for a bus even longer to anticipate something that's unlikely. Are there any gay ppl who relate?
could your mum look into dating website for people with disabilities if you think it is that severe dude ?
 

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