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being followed

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Zoe1

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so I went to a sandwich shop on the way to my therapist
and a couple sat down at the next table
I thought possibly private detectives
the man said ' getting the guns out '
and then they let me eat my sandwich

and then he said ' all I do is take '
which seemed to have nothing to do with what they were talking about
and I felt aimed at me , because some people think im shallow
when I'm happy

thing is recently ive found there is a way
of giving feedback that is actually enjoyable
rather than draining, and I'm sure not everyone likes my replies
but some people do and we cant please everyone

I found developing a positive attitude works for me
doesnt mean everyone else has to go along with it
if they dont want to

and I dont want to be part of a competition
to see who has suffered the most

ive suffered most of my adult life
being made responsible for a heroin addict in the family
and I really have no more to give than I'm already doing

and if you are a private detective following me
im stating it here that I am aware of your presence
and what you are doing

I need to find a way of signalling that I'm aware of them
without looking like a nutter
so I thought maybe tap my nose gently until they notice
or tap my ear

so that they are aware that I'm aware
but that I'm also not being aggressive about it

:grouphug: 🍀 🕯
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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I'm thinking maybe you just thought it was about you but really it wasn't @Zoe1

Are there any reasons a private detective would follow you?

Hugs
 
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EstherRose94

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I think I agree with Sunny. It’s most likely you just thought they were talking about you. Sometimes I think I hear people say my irl name which is really rare but it’s just because there are some English words that rhyme with it lol.

If you’re feeling anxious or on edge your brain will be likely to pick out parts of a conversation that seem relevant to you. It’s likely just a little trick of your brain being overactive In the moment and not actually anyone after you. Which is good for our brains to do if we’re in a life or death situation but not so necessary for our brains to do in a sandwich shop. Sometimes our brains go into intense mode when they don’t really need to. And we have to train ourselves back out of it. Maybe saying hello to the couple would have taught your brain “no, this is just a random couple eating sandwiches.”
 
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Zoe1

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thankyou guys !

no each time I get this its always a different person , never the same twice
sometimes people employ a detective
if they think you are after their partner or ex partner I think

my therapist also said similar things
about you being hyper vigilant
we also traced it back to recently some of my videos
were stolen from Youtube
which has triggered this paranoia thing

saying hello might be a great idea actually !
if they were a detective it might make them feel awkward

:grouphug: :loveshower: 🍀 🌷
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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Has anything ever happened any of the times you think you've been followed?
 
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Zoe1

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thanks, I cant think of anything right now
just things being said that seemed very relevant
and would tie in with things other people had said
making a kind of a ' meme ' you could say
telling me what I need to work on today
 
Coreen

Coreen

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Have you been taking your meds? Sounds like your brain might be playing tricks on you. Perhaps you should check in with your mental health people. Just to be on the safe side. Hope you feel better soon. (((Safe hugs.)))
 
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Zoe1

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thanks Coreen

no I wont be talking to the doctors about it at this point
because I'm in a good space emotionally at the moment
and ive never really had that before

ive needed to be in hospital for medication changes usually

and I think this is a cognitive problem

:hug:
 
Coreen

Coreen

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Please be careful. A manic episode feels good. But that is deceiving. It's like the calm before the storm. Just check in with someone each day.
 
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Zoe1

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n yeah thats what I'm doing here
ive also spoken to my step mother this evening and my therapist
and all these things combined
I have come back down to earth now !
 
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Zoe1

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k the things that the investigator seems to be saying
I have written it down
and incorporated it into my rap song / poem !
well a rap song is a kind of poem I think

' getting the guns out
going up the big hills
all I do is take

look past them, tap your nose
glance into their eyes ! "
 
Bipolarbear2

Bipolarbear2

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It sounds to me like you need to tell your psychiatrist about what you're seeing and hearing. You said you didn't want to tell them because you're happy right now. Will the doctors take away your happiness?
 
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Zoe1

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they will yes if they try to change my medication
I am in a really good mood on it
and it took 30 years of changes in treatment
to get it like that

im not considering talking to them at the moment
 
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EstherRose94

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Lol that rap/poem is the most hardcore thing I’ve ever heard come from Zoe 😂

It’d pass for legit lyrics I think!

If you want to tell your doctor could you tell them and also say you don’t want to change your meds? Do you do any talk therapy? Cause I wouldn’t want to mess with a good combo of meds either but don’t let that keep you from reaching out
 
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