H
happyhappy
Well-known member
Founding Member
I wasn't sure where to put this as I am dx Bipolar, but it is a more general prob I have.
I am in a strange situation. I get strong feelings for almost all the mental health staff people I come into contact with. Not friendship as I know they would never be friends with me outside the patient-client relationship (I am too loopy!). However, I became extremely attached to my general doc and was absolutely devastated when she left and I really do mean devastated. It was like a bereavement and I took a long time to get over it. I still hate going to the new general doc cos it hurts that she isn't the last one.
My last 1-1 therapist, I really thought I was in love with her (I am a hetereosexual mother of two!) even though I knew it was common to have these sort of feelings for a therapist. When she left I was bereft but she then continued to see me in a group setting a few months later. That is likely to come to an end though and already I am worrying about it as I know I will be even more devastated to lose her than my general doc. She is up there with significant people like my hubby, mother and kids of people to lose and how I think it will affect me. I seriously don't think I will cope with losing her influence in my life.
My Shrink. As much as I am at odds with him at present, I really don't want to upset him too far as I really need him. I don't want another one and I hate the thought of being passed on to another as sometimes happens with re organisation.
Lastly, my new 1-1 therapist. Oh heck....I am attracted to him. I know how common this is but it is increasingly awkward as I realise I am flirting ever so slightly. Holding back on information so I have to see him longer. fantasising during sessions etc....and I know it is the patient-client thing as he is not my type at all.
The only one I didn't get attached to was my mental health nurse, but that is cos she pi**ed me off on our second meeting!
It is these attachments that I think have a large bearing over my mental health. It is to keep on seeing them that I think I continue to not get better.
I think I may need to address these issues. I was advised to do so (from this forum) way back when I had the first therapist on a one to one basis but I just couldn't. But I am terrified to do so in case the response is to pull out all involvement and I am left with either nil, or a rotating staff group ( I know this happens some places and my friends therapist stopped seeing her for three months when she admitted she was attracted to him)
So, I know these feelings are normal but I don't know how to move on from them and I don't know how to move on in my life. I am so afraid of losing them that I am too scared to rock the boat by telling them. I am also scared of my diagnoses being changed from bipolar to borderline personality disorder as has been suggested it might be if I confess to my attachement problem.
Any thoughts/ideas welcomed!
Happyhappy
I am in a strange situation. I get strong feelings for almost all the mental health staff people I come into contact with. Not friendship as I know they would never be friends with me outside the patient-client relationship (I am too loopy!). However, I became extremely attached to my general doc and was absolutely devastated when she left and I really do mean devastated. It was like a bereavement and I took a long time to get over it. I still hate going to the new general doc cos it hurts that she isn't the last one.
My last 1-1 therapist, I really thought I was in love with her (I am a hetereosexual mother of two!) even though I knew it was common to have these sort of feelings for a therapist. When she left I was bereft but she then continued to see me in a group setting a few months later. That is likely to come to an end though and already I am worrying about it as I know I will be even more devastated to lose her than my general doc. She is up there with significant people like my hubby, mother and kids of people to lose and how I think it will affect me. I seriously don't think I will cope with losing her influence in my life.
My Shrink. As much as I am at odds with him at present, I really don't want to upset him too far as I really need him. I don't want another one and I hate the thought of being passed on to another as sometimes happens with re organisation.
Lastly, my new 1-1 therapist. Oh heck....I am attracted to him. I know how common this is but it is increasingly awkward as I realise I am flirting ever so slightly. Holding back on information so I have to see him longer. fantasising during sessions etc....and I know it is the patient-client thing as he is not my type at all.
The only one I didn't get attached to was my mental health nurse, but that is cos she pi**ed me off on our second meeting!
It is these attachments that I think have a large bearing over my mental health. It is to keep on seeing them that I think I continue to not get better.
I think I may need to address these issues. I was advised to do so (from this forum) way back when I had the first therapist on a one to one basis but I just couldn't. But I am terrified to do so in case the response is to pull out all involvement and I am left with either nil, or a rotating staff group ( I know this happens some places and my friends therapist stopped seeing her for three months when she admitted she was attracted to him)
So, I know these feelings are normal but I don't know how to move on from them and I don't know how to move on in my life. I am so afraid of losing them that I am too scared to rock the boat by telling them. I am also scared of my diagnoses being changed from bipolar to borderline personality disorder as has been suggested it might be if I confess to my attachement problem.
Any thoughts/ideas welcomed!
Happyhappy