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Being a Virgin is really getting to me and making me feel really depressed

C

CKM1234

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
6
Location
NY
Hey everyone, as you can see from the title I'm 21 about to turn 22 in a few months and I'm still a virgin. I never had a girlfriend, never kissed, or did anything intimate. unfortunately I've been made fun of by people i know, some girls I told when they ask about my history, and even my family members. I realize that there's a lot of people who's in the same situation as I am and that some reading this may think that this is stupid to be upset about. Its so hard not to feel terrible and lonely sometimes . You know I've tried everything whether it be online dating, meeting people through hobbies but nothing seems to work. I feel like nothing is gonna change and that it'll be like this for the foreseeable future.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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Jul 16, 2020
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Glasgow
Your only young wee fella whats the rush? Boys at that age all bullshit about their sexual exploits too so dont listen to anyone
 
AlwaysinCrown

AlwaysinCrown

Well-known member
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Aug 14, 2020
Messages
1,668
Location
Poland
Don't worry, everyone had his/her individual age for having sex. I'm 33 and I'm the same situation. Maybe you are still not ready for sex or intimate relationship or you can be an asexual.
 
T

TimeOutForTina

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2020
Messages
66
Location
Nottingham
Hey everyone, as you can see from the title I'm 21 about to turn 22 in a few months and I'm still a virgin. I never had a girlfriend, never kissed, or did anything intimate. unfortunately I've been made fun of by people i know, some girls I told when they ask about my history, and even my family members. I realize that there's a lot of people who's in the same situation as I am and that some reading this may think that this is stupid to be upset about. Its so hard not to feel terrible and lonely sometimes . You know I've tried everything whether it be online dating, meeting people through hobbies but nothing seems to work. I feel like nothing is gonna change and that it'll be like this for the foreseeable future.
It’s better that than sleeping around imo. You still are only young and you’ve just not met the right person. As for being made fun of, that’s bad on them. Hold your head high and don’t show them you care for their opinion.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Feb 27, 2020
Messages
6,448
Location
Nashua NH
Taking your time in matters of love and romance is not a bad thing. The older you get the more you learn about yourself and the more discerning you can be about finding a good fit in a partner. There are always people in the same boat as you across both sexes. You are still young so young and there is more to life than sex anyway. Don’t worry I’m sure in time your day will come. xo, j
 
S

sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
670
Location
USA
I am a 44 year old virgin. There is nothing wrong with this aspect of me. As a single woman, I suggest that you act like a gentleman and not rush the sex. Try to build a friendship with women, and you will eventually get your relationship with sex.
 
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Nukelavee

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Dec 17, 2019
Messages
3,367
Location
London, ON
contrary to what media tells us - not everybody is having lots of sex.

And, tbh, if you fixate too much on teh idea of sex, over the idea of companionship, you likely won't feel satisfied even if you do have sex.

I've been voluntarily celibate for about 15 years, because I just don't feel like dealing with the stress and games of dating. Well, dating for the purpose of a hookup.
 
J

Jrchmn

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Joined
Oct 17, 2018
Messages
101
many many moons ago when I went to uni and had the how did you lose your virginity conversation with my female house mates I found the shocking truth that most of them hadn’t actually consented to their first time. Most of them were drunk and several had to take the morning after pill. Some of them were also under 16 at the time.
One of the reasons you’re a virgin is that you would never do that to a woman. No doubt some of the morons teasing you would. So on that front be proud and hold your head up.

In terms of finding a serious relationship there are no easy answers. Unfortunately if potential partners know you want a serious relationship their actually less likely to be interested as most don’t want things to be serious from day one. You can at least prepare yourself for when you do find a serious relationship. There are many excellent sex guides to read. If you educate yourself it’s likely you’ll be better in bed than the idiots who’ve teased you about being a virgin.
 
S

sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
670
Location
USA
many many moons ago when I went to uni and had the how did you lose your virginity conversation with my female house mates I found the shocking truth that most of them hadn’t actually consented to their first time. Most of them were drunk and several had to take the morning after pill. Some of them were also under 16 at the time.
One of the reasons you’re a virgin is that you would never do that to a woman. No doubt some of the morons teasing you would. So on that front be proud and hold your head up.

In terms of finding a serious relationship there are no easy answerUnfortunately if potential partners know you want a serious relationship their actually less likely to be interested as most don’t want things to be serious from day one. You can at least prepare yourself for when you do find a serious relationship. There are many excellent sex guides to read. If you educate yourself it’s likely you’ll be better in bed than the idiots who’ve teased you about being a virgin
Don't listen to this guy. Most women are not looking to get laid. Pursue a serious relationship.
 
L

Lori_2315

Guest
Hey everyone, as you can see from the title I'm 21 about to turn 22 in a few months and I'm still a virgin. I never had a girlfriend, never kissed, or did anything intimate. unfortunately I've been made fun of by people i know, some girls I told when they ask about my history, and even my family members. I realize that there's a lot of people who's in the same situation as I am and that some reading this may think that this is stupid to be upset about. Its so hard not to feel terrible and lonely sometimes . You know I've tried everything whether it be online dating, meeting people through hobbies but nothing seems to work. I feel like nothing is gonna change and that it'll be like this for the foreseeable future.
I don’t think it’s stupid to feel this way, I’m in a similar situation. All my friends either have/or have had a bf/gf. I’ve never had a boyfriend, kissed anyone - even held hands with a boy in that way. They all call me the “innocent one” and make jokes about me when the topic comes up (thankfully it doesn’t come up too often) not to be mean, but just as it’s “funny”.

one of my friends told me today actually, that I’ll meet the “one” someday, i just haven’t found them yet. The same will be for you, the right person will come along someday and it’ll all click and fall into place (so I’m told, not that I’d know what it’s like yet 😄) you’re still young - my family keeps telling me this too, there’s nothing wrong with not being in a relationship- it will happen with time!
 
J

Jrchmn

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 17, 2018
Messages
101
Don't listen to this guy. Most women are not looking to get laid. Pursue a serious relationship.
Not at all what I was saying. How serious a relationship is has very little to do with weather you’re having sex or not. Most serious relationships begin as less serious relationships which may or may not include getting “laid”. While it’s true that “most women are not looking to get laid” it’s also true that most women (most people for that matter) are hesitant to start a relationship with someone who is serious from day one.
 
N

Nukelavee

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Dec 17, 2019
Messages
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Location
London, ON
Don't listen to this guy. Most women are not looking to get laid. Pursue a serious relationship.
If that were true, nobody would be having sex. Women, of all ages, enjoy sex as much as men do (assuming it's decent sex). Women on sites like Tinder or Plenty of Fish are simply out looking to get laid.

Casual sex is a thing, because women are as likely to want to have sex as men.

also - I'm going to say that entering a long term relationship for sex is as bad an idea as thinking a casual hook-up will lead to a lifelong relationship.
 
P

Purpleplum

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nowhere
Don't think that that's what you have to do or that you should have done already. There's no age for that. Don't listen to pop culture and think that's what everyone should be doing.

Let it happen when it does. It will happen when the time is right.
 
C

CKM1234

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
6
Location
NY
Hey everyone first I honestly didn’t expect to get that many responses here this is something that’s been bothering me for a while. But I really appreciate all of your responses though I was busy with school work so I didn’t get the chance to look at them up until now. I’m still kind of down about it but it’s whatever, I’m just gonna try not to fixate on it too much and live my life. Once again I appreciate it
 
P

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
619
Location
UK
Do not be ashamed of being a virgin, it is not important about how many people you have slept with. That is irrelevant to life and relationships. It will happen one day. Practice does not make perfect when it comes to sex because everybody is different. When the time is right, work on it. Find a good partner that loves you and wants to be with you. When a person is single and they have sex, the person that wants it less tends to be more reserved in the bedroom.
 
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