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Being a man / male

nonotme

nonotme

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Jan 13, 2015
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I don't and haven't for many years felt very masculine, I don't do male things as such.. you know go down the pub, watch the football. I don't have any male friends (I don't have any real friends) so I don't get much male input into my life other than what you see on TV etc.

But I don't know what it is to be male ? does anyone? do you feel male?


something I have been working on with my therapist but we haven't got very far, he's very feminine so I'm not sure he's the right person to be asking, or maybe he is the right person I'm just not getting the answers I feel I need.

Not as if this would happen anyone but if I was to meet a lady and we became friends I'd have no idea what she would want from me as a man.

Me.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I grew up doing mostly man things with my dad so I'm the opposite. I don't do feminine things apart from a bit of make up now and again. When I socialised it was with men too.
What makes you feel you want to become more masculine?
 
nonotme

nonotme

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What makes you feel you want to become more masculine?
I think its a case really of I don't think or feel I am anything other than being alive. I want to enjoy more of life before its to late. I don't relate well to men or women but would like too, I just want to feel I have a place in my life no matter how small that is. sorry I hope that makes some sense in what I am trying to say.
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

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I don't quite understand sorry :( is it that you can't identify with who you are and where you belong?
 
Kerome

Kerome

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It's funny, for a very long time I didn't feel very male either. Then I got a more serious, higher status job with more company politics, ended up hardening a bit from that, did a lot of sports which got a lot of testosterone moving, and went on an Internet dating jag. All of that ended up making me feel more male.

But in the end I think most men define their masculinity as a mix of that and what is wanted by their women. Most women ultimately just want to feel cherished and protected, and so your job is halfway between lover and protector, Don Juan and Don Macho, fine gentleman and strongman. It kinda comes out naturally when you're with a woman you care about, if you're sensitive and a bit developed inside. If you're not, perhaps you should start meditating on the meaning of love and family first, it was a key for me too.
 
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