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Beginning of psycosis

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AliOsman

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Just wondering if anyone who has had a psychotic episode remembers a unique event which raised the red flag before it got into full swing
 
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Did it just hit you like a train? I remember a very distinct event when i lost complete control of my body for about 30 seconds and my brain felt like it was being fried. I was still conscious but was although my body was in autopilot and the surroundings went very weird.
 
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Did it just hit you like a train? I remember a very distinct event when i lost complete control of my body for about 30 seconds and my brain felt like it was being fried. I was still conscious but was although my body was in autopilot and the surroundings went very weird.
i had difficulties & stuff go on from childhood & up to the point of what first happened - But it was instant - i went into a totally extreme/non-ordinary state - like the Universe had been turned inside out - i can't describe it - it made hallucinogenics seems like nothing. It changed everything.

There was stuff with anxiety/depression, drinking & drug taking, family difficulties, & other things - But yes, it was as if it came out of nowhere instantaneously & turned me inside out. It was like a reverse enlightenment - pure terror.

There was an experience in childhood, around the age of 8, where i went into a state of unexplained panic, & ran away - but it wasn't on the same scale.

Someone suggested i've always been psychotic? i don't have answers to it all?
 
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AliOsman

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I too felt the whole universe had been flipped. I felt how i saw the world and understood the universe my whole life was completely wrong, and felt everyone else was living blind. I could not explain it to anyone, at times the world seemed so beautiful, almost like a computer simulator, holographic. But at other times it was terrifying, overwhelmingly and like a night mare. I do think stress is a massive factor before an episode hit. Can you take positives of what u went through or do you wish it never happened?
 
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I think I've always had difficulties, had a lot of experiences as a child that could probably be explained as psychosis, however it's not generally recognised in the UK that children can experience perceptual changes to the same degree as adults.

I don't think there was an exact moment where I suddenly went mad. I had quite a classic "prodromal period" and a fairly typical decline into madness. However I do remember the first time I clearly heard a voice, it did come out of nowhere and was very sudden.
 
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AliOsman

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Do you think that psyhcosis can be explained as a disconnection from reality? And also, do you think that it should not be looked at as an illness but something which people even experts dont understand in the slightest which is why its deemed a and addressed as an illness?
 
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I too felt the whole universe had been flipped. I felt how i saw the world and understood the universe my whole life was completely wrong, and felt everyone else was living blind. I could not explain it to anyone, at times the world seemed so beautiful, almost like a computer simulator, holographic. But at other times it was terrifying, overwhelmingly and like a night mare. I do think stress is a massive factor before an episode hit. Can you take positives of what u went through or do you wish it never happened?
It is like existing in an entirely different reality - But maybe it is?

There does very much appear to be stress as a factor in things.

It has all happened. i try to practice gratitude & to see it all as a gift - hard as that may be sometimes, some see it all as a blessing & a curse. If i hadn't of been through it all, then i wouldn't be who i am, i wouldn't have learnt what i have.

i do feel that there is a spiritual aspect to these conditions - it does involve transpersonal states, ego crisis & non-ordinary states of conscious awareness. i do question however what different people are really experiencing? i'm not sure that what comes under individual psychiatric labels is really all the same things? We're individuals/unique.

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Do you think that psyhcosis can be explained as a disconnection from reality?
Tricky one - what's reality? There's the consensus 5 sense/3rd dimensional/materialistic reality, most seem to refer to - is that all there is?

And also, do you think that it should not be looked at as an illness but something which people even experts dont understand in the slightest which is why its deemed a and addressed as an illness?
Still don't know what the real difference is between schizophrenia & shamanism? i don't think many of the so called experts do understand. There are a myriad of ways of understanding these experiences other than illness & other than with biomedical psychiatry.
 
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AliOsman

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Dude i completely agree with you. For the past year i have thought that i was alone in interpreting an episode differently to how the doctors tried telling me what was happening with. The 5 senses are not all there is to the universe and i feel going through an episode really proved that to me. After it all happened, it raised a massive question for me. What is reality? I think no1 has the answer, just different opinions. Perception i feel has a massive effect on the world around us. In a way i feel privileged to have been able to experience and see the world and universe in a complete different way.
I assume you sort of feel the same way about psychosis or was your experience different to mine?
 
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I think some people can have much more "visual" experiences of psyhcosis, and there are others (like me) who just became intensely paranoid + quite disorganised without the intense visual hallucninations. I had a lot of voices, suppose they are a hallucination. I never really had visions, although I had a sense that the world had changed in some way and that things were shifting out of sync.

I think some people do genuinely have spiritual experiences that need unravelling and some people don't see any meaning in it. I think there was a lot of psychological turmoil going on and there is meaning in everyone's madness. It just depends on how the individual wants to approach it.
 
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AliOsman

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So yours was more a paranoia? But that raises questions, what are hallucinations? If the brain is making you hear or see something, then who is a doctor to say it is not real? After all the brain is responsible for everything we feel, hear, see, smell and taste, so if the brain is making your hear or see something, then it must be real? How do we define real?
 
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Dude i completely agree with you. For the past year i have thought that i was alone in interpreting an episode differently to how the doctors tried telling me what was happening with. The 5 senses are not all there is to the universe and i feel going through an episode really proved that to me. After it all happened, it raised a massive question for me. What is reality? I think no1 has the answer, just different opinions. Perception i feel has a massive effect on the world around us. In a way i feel privileged to have been able to experience and see the world and universe in a complete different way.
I assume you sort of feel the same way about psychosis or was your experience different to mine?
Yea, i feel the same way with it all, always have done. i think it's hard to impossible to know exactly what the inner World & experiences are of other people, but i think there can be similarities.

i've found some identification within different alternative areas - depth/transpersonal psychology - spiritual crisis/emergency - shamanism - the inter life & spirit release material - consciousness research - spirituality in general - all kinds of places that look at & explore reality from a more expanded perspective. i started a thread looking at psychosis from the perspectives of spiritual emergency (Link in Signature).

i'm not sure that anyone does have the categorical answers, although there are a number of complete views/models of reality which are very interesting, & which do correlate with other areas.

'Worlds Beyond Death' by Grant H Pealer is one example that's worth a read, imo.
 
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AliOsman

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Thank you all so much for your replies i find it really helps to speak with other people who have gone through it that have the same views on it as i do. I felt so alone in my views on it but so reassuring that others who have gone through itfeel the same. I feel that the opinions of people who have gone through it are so much more valid then so called 'experts' in the field. How can doctors who have never been through it try tell us what physcosis is. What are your views on medication for mental illness? (i do not like calling it illness)
 
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What are your views on medication for mental illness? (i do not like calling it illness)
i take a low dose of an anti-psychotic. Feel i could have been & could be better helped - But it's as it is. i think there is a valid role for the wise use of medications, but i disagree with the primary focus on labels & drugs - ideally i'd like to see far more comprehensive psychological, social & spiritual support approaches. A humane & holistic treatment. i see things as involving mind/body/soul/environment - each area should be addressed.

There are viable alternatives to the current system - Diabasis, Soteria, i-ward & open dialogue - to name a few.
 
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So yours was more a paranoia? But that raises questions, what are hallucinations? If the brain is making you hear or see something, then who is a doctor to say it is not real? After all the brain is responsible for everything we feel, hear, see, smell and taste, so if the brain is making your hear or see something, then it must be real? How do we define real?
Yes I was very paranoid, had a lot of paranoid delusions but the more I think about it, they were linked into perceptual changes. I did feel that people were following me and that I had been targeted and I was obsessed with the idea I was being drugged via an implant in my body. I could feel it moving around like a worm.

I didn't see visions as in the sort of "Trippy" visions some people report though, apart from once where the ceiling opened up into a black hole and I saw an unknown galaxy.

Re: your question about medication. I think psychiatric drugs in high doses are totally unnecessary and harmful for long periods of time. I think low doses can be helpful though.
 
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