Beginning depression?

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NordicGuy

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Dec 30, 2014
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#1
I'm worried that I might be on the verge of some sort of depression, and I need to let out my feelings and maybe have someone listen to me. So here goes:

More and more I feel incredibly low and demotivated, unable to do anything I like doing or that requires an effort. And I've found myself having thoughts of suicide almost every day for the past week. Heck, I even dreamt of participating in a mass suicide one night. On top of that, my patience has become shorter recently, and I get frustrated and angry more easily, especially in arguments. These situations sometimes make me feel like yelling and crying, often triggering my depressed moments.

But I'm not sure what's causing all of this, though I have a vague idea: I've recently made the decision to change school, and that may be causing me to feel pressured, as I have to improve my grades and I'm not good at making friends. I also generally feel insecure about my body, which has been deformed by me sitting in a wheelchair, and about my sexuality, which is rather... worrying. So maybe it's just a melting pot of these things that's causing my depressed feelings.

I haven't told anyone about this, not even my parents, although I know that I probably should seek help. But this might be a first step towards that.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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#2
Hi there NordicGuy

Yes it's a step in the right direction coming into a forum and getting to know people.looking around at posts and posting :)
None of us here are medical professionals so we cant diagnose of course.
From what you are saying though, it does sound like you are depressed.
Depression is an awful thing, I struggle with it a lot and anxiety.
Don't allow yourself to suffer in silence, pay a visit to your GP and explain how you feel to him/her.
I truly wish you well and hope this forum helps you too.

Unique1 x
 
N

NordicGuy

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#3
Thanks for the words, Unique1. It's nice having somewhere to go when you're troubled, especially since I don't really have anyone to talk to. I guess I'm just kinda ashamed and don't want to upset those around me. And I keep hoping that it'll pass, despite knowing that it won't. But I'll see if I can find the strength to seek help, though I'll stick with the forums for now. Once again thanks.
 
Unique1

Unique1

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#4
Thanks for the words, Unique1. It's nice having somewhere to go when you're troubled, especially since I don't really have anyone to talk to. I guess I'm just kinda ashamed and don't want to upset those around me. And I keep hoping that it'll pass, despite knowing that it won't. But I'll see if I can find the strength to seek help, though I'll stick with the forums for now. Once again thanks.
Your welcome, and I understand the feeling ashamed,and not wanting to upset people. i felt the same.
I learnt a lot from people on the forum and hope you do too. I spent time reading posts, which helped me to feel I wasn't alone in how I feel, which is a great thing.
I'm glad you ventured into the forum.

:) x
 
N

NordicGuy

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Dec 30, 2014
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#5
Just to give an update, I feel much better now. The suicidal thoughts have passed, and I'm coming to terms both with my body and sexuality. I'm more motivated and hopeful for the future now. It's as if I just had to decide to take control of my life again.
 
standon

standon

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Jun 21, 2015
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#6
Well done to you, its nice to see positives, it's all about trying our best to be happy, all the best x
 
N

NordicGuy

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#7
Thanks, standon. I used to be a positive person, and I hope to be one again.
 
standon

standon

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#8
Me too, theres some good supportive people on here the forums a good place, i will get there struggling at times but I will
take care
 

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