Been in an abusive relationship

M

MATTY1980

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2018
Messages
2
#1
Hi all,

So my ex. Well I think that's what she regards me as now. She's an alcoholic, has depression, anxiety issues etc. Been absolutely vile towards me, said the most awful things about me, my family, friends etc. Called me retarded, ugly, says I'm autistic, thick. I could go on!

Attacked me once or twice. Asked me to end her life the other day and has recently been done for drink driving facing a huge fine and long ban. So she now has a criminal record.

Anyway I have no idea why I still give a toss about her but I do. I love her deeply and don't blame her for her current state of mind. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I've cried so much lately thinking about how sad she must be feeling.

So what do I do? I don't think her family want me to contact her or they don't want her to contact me. Maybe she doesnt have the emotional capacity for a relationship if so unstable? She told me I was the first ever guy she could see marrying and having children. As I said maybe the reality of this now she can't handle?

She's said she just wants to be friends but then tells me she still loves me and the other day regards me as my finance, yeah we were engaged. Stupidly slept together the other night.

I just felt so so sorry for her the other night. This week has been hellish. Me driving around trying to get her to go home. Been sleeping in her car just getting drunk.

What would you all do? Most people are telling me to go and look after myself. I guess there is no guarantee she'll get better? Could I send her a whatsapp saying I'm there for her as a friend. She doesn't have many friends due to how she is. Maybe let things settle down a bit?

My head is just consumed by it all.

Thanks all
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
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Jan 4, 2013
Messages
8,570
Location
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#2
Hi,
I'm sorry this has happened, she's attacked you and is abusive.
Please keep away from her.
It is domestic violence you shouldn't put up with that.
Don't contact her.
Hope you find someone else who will take care of you.
Many domestic violence charities will advise you.
Men's Advice Line – Help and support for male victims of domestic violence
Your ex needs help from mental health services.
Take care
 
Last edited:
M

MATTY1980

New member
Joined
Oct 19, 2018
Messages
2
#3
Thanks Mayflower.

I am trying so so hard to do what you advise. Obviously when a relationship ends the feelings take a while to go away, if they ever do.

Thanks
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
8,570
Location
England
#4
Thanks Mayflower.

I am trying so so hard to do what you advise. Obviously when a relationship ends the feelings take a while to go away, if they ever do.

Thanks
Hi,
I know it's sad when a relationship ends, you loved her. The feelings will stop, be kind to yourself.
Don't do what she has done and use alcohol.
Do you have anywhere to stay at the moment?
Take care