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Been a battle for 28 years with no medication

madmark

madmark

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hi all hope u all ok ime back not had a pc for a while
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Hi mad Mark.
Welcome back.
Unique1 x
 
M

MarlieeB

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Hey Mark, welcome back.

How are things going with you?

x
 
madmark

madmark

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ime still well would like to say well BUT ive made a lot of progress over the last year but I seem to have hit a brick wall I am once again getting help but it was my choice to only seek help from outside my family on a monthly basis this way I have time to work through situations and talk to a care worker once a month with what I cant seem to sort out but its not a smooth life my mind just will not stop turning things bad but the good thing is I don't react on it as much now and I can talk more and ask for help which is a massive + so up to yesterday I was living in a static caravan with my wife has been nice for us both but now I feel I need a break from that routine as I was starting to feel trapped so ime back at my house on my own for a while ime working most days for long hours and this wears me down BUT IN GENRAL IME MANAGING X
enough about me is there any of my followers around and how are u all ? hope u all ok and starting to find yourself in this mixed up life
 
madmark

madmark

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falling once again but it feels so different it feels so real and so deep inside {ME} the people who follow my posts will know last time I fell I took a massive overdose and was unconscious for 2 days this has left its scars on my head where I hit the floor when I passed out but most of all in my mind I shouldn't be here it should have ended my pain for good but the fight goes on I feel so much at war with my inner mind 24/7 I feel as if ime surrounded by very thick fog and ime trapped on the inside trying to escape fighting to clear the fog 24/7 until I run out of energy and the fog submerses me totally this is were I am at the moment submersed once again and on my own . and I know ime alone in my battle the problem is I realy don't know if I want to keep trying to clear the fog or just go with the flow and see if I crawl out without a fight scary times once again is it time to flip the coin and see if I survive again OR is it my time to get piece THIS TIME https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQhGnNEFtPk :low: I realy don't like these times https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tto9o8hTl8I
 
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MarlieeB

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I do really hope you can stay safe Mark xxx
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Hi MadMark.

Sorry for how you are feeling.
Hope you can stay safe.

Wishing you well
Unique1 xx
 
madmark

madmark

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just to let you all know I stayed safe and its a new day and the battle goes on I haven't managed to get the effort to go to work today need time out :low:
 
M

MarlieeB

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I'm glad you stayed safe last night Mark and I hope you feel better as the time goes on today.

xxx
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Yeh well sometimes time out is needed .
Glad you stayed safe!

Hope you've had chance to chill out a little.
Wish you well
Unique1 xx
 
madmark

madmark

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ok I changed my plan and went to work at 10 and made it through the day and my wife is at the house with me now so I aint on my own I am learning its so so so hard to ask for help when I get in the that state I just want to punish myself in any way possible and shut myself away on my own like being in prison but my mood is lifting once again which is good hope u all ok and thank you all for the welcome back messages its lovely to see and feel support from the site x
 
M

MarlieeB

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I'm glad your mood is lifting and you aren't on your own.

xxx
 
Unique1

Unique1

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Good to hear the day seems to have been better than you thought, sounds like you asked for help, hope so, glad your not alone :)
Have a peaceful evening I hope.

Take care
Unique1 xx
 
madmark

madmark

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thank you for your support Unique1 , MarlieeB hope u both ok and as well as u can be x
 
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BernieDolores

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Aug 11, 2014
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Ormskirk
So sorry you're feeling like this. But the good thing is, that although you feel bad, you know that this is not a good thing, although you feel helpless to do anything. Stick with any help or guidance you get, the therapists will tell you...it will get better... you just have to stay withit. best of luck Bernie. sorry if this is late, i've been on my hols.
 
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