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Been a battle for 28 years with no medication

madmark

madmark

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Joined
Oct 25, 2011
Messages
972
Location
uk
ive just woke up had a bad night and ime no doing to well been ill since boxing day and still not feeling to well ime feeling lost and isolated from the world if that makes any sense daisy is ill she has the lurgy sick bug feelis like i am on a roller coaster of doom and gloom with no brakes just sat about all day yesterday as little 1 is ill and the day felt so long drives me crazy my mum been back home for a few days now but cant go there as not feeling well and dont want to pass it to them hope u all better than i am
 
Liza9560

Liza9560

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Joined
Dec 23, 2018
Messages
104
Location
Texas
Well, shitballs! Hm. Maybe try a juice fast to get vitamins and nutrients in and that crud out? Also, the supplements quercitin, mullein, and marshmallow root are great when you are ill. Here is an herbalist I’ve fallen in love with.


Could you put a face mask on to go visit your mom?

Feel better!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
madmark

madmark

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Joined
Oct 25, 2011
Messages
972
Location
uk
ok so had ecg and full blood counts taken last week and chest xray yesterday get results of all of it monday still not at work and not been to my mums/dads since boxing day seem to have built up a panic block against going there but am going to try in a bit once again to go there ive been in contact with wellbeing service as the doc said for ne to self refer done it and had talk to them yesterday and been refused help i got rejected lol never had that before but they say as my mum is still alive they cant help me move forward with positive thinking as ime still in the situation which is creating the trauma i can see there point but hey ime asking for support to cope and no help they sending a letter to my gp stating they rejected my self referal at this point ime in a ruck and cant find my way out at the moment hope u all ok and well as you can be
 
madmark

madmark

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Oct 25, 2011
Messages
972
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uk
well i done it made it to see my mum/dad got there and doctor there then ambulance off to hospital mum xrayed and checked sent back home with antibiotics so then i have the fun of trying to get her in to my car and get her back home in and settled its just a vicious circle and its like i sitting watching and waiting for her to die well i guess i am no cure this is what i cant get used to in my head u go to hospital and doctors to get help to make you better but there is nothing they can do is there i hate seeing this the hurt and pain in not only my mum but my dad and sister as well all my mum keeps saying to me is i dont want to be here no longer its so f+cking evil she is having to suffer this way and we all suffering with her along side her its not only killing her its killing me and my dad and my brother is already dead just seems no way to even try to move forward at the moment we all stuck at ROCK BOTTOM
 
madmark

madmark

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Joined
Oct 25, 2011
Messages
972
Location
uk
well i done it made it to see my mum/dad got there and doctor there then ambulance off to hospital mum xrayed and checked sent back home with antibiotics so then i have the fun of trying to get her in to my car and get her back home in and settled its just a vicious circle and its like i sitting watching and waiting for her to die well i guess i am no cure this is what i cant get used to in my head u go to hospital and doctors to get help to make you better but there is nothing they can do is there i hate seeing this the hurt and pain in not only my mum but my dad and sister as well all my mum keeps saying to me is i dont want to be here no longer its so f+cking evil she is having to suffer this way and we all suffering with her along side her its not only killing her its killing me and my dad and my brother is already dead just seems no way to even try to move forward at the moment we all stuck at ROCK BOTTOM ive found my emotion though i just keep crying my mind will not shut down and inside me is being ripped to pieces ime trying so hard to keep strong and think positive but HEY ive been told the end result so no positive left is there i am glad i was there for them today though to go with them and be there but realy not sure how much longer i can keep going or what or were to go next my head is a total mess
 
madmark

madmark

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Joined
Oct 25, 2011
Messages
972
Location
uk
ok so tonight at 9.45pm my mum lost her battle with cancer and sadly passed away
 
madmark

madmark

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Joined
Oct 25, 2011
Messages
972
Location
uk
well funeral is booked 19th feb my dad is so low and quite so am i i cant seem to focus on what or were to go still not working ime at my dads with him alot of the time for company also helping sort bits in the house out i slept for 12 hrs last night and feel like sh+t now just dont know what to write so i leave it here for now hope you all ok and as well as you can be the battle goes on
 
S

steve1953

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Joined
Feb 5, 2019
Messages
45
Location
Macclesfield
Hi Mark, I lost my Dad in 2010 and Mum in law 2012 who we nursed at our home with dementia to the very last hour, I learned a lot spiritually during that time but my mind was all over the place full whack 100 MPH. When driving I could't even glance to the left or right just had to focus on immediate road ahead, you know on the old sat navs used to say recalculating - thats how my brain was saying all the time recalculating, recalculating!! We must be similar age, I have ten grandkids - so my thoughts are with you... You have to focus now on paying last respects to your mum, everything else can wait, her spirit will be with you, I know this from what ive experienced over recent years. So to be strong take time to rest mind/body, try Mantra meditation, just rest and repeat a phrase over and over 'I love my kids', or imagine eating hot apple pie and custard over and over drifting down a stream in a small boat to take away the 'mental chatter'.

I have only read a small proportion of your messages where your mood changes, and from what ive read they are pretty serious, but I think you are a good man so be strong ready to pay respects.

I have personal experience with certain mental problems, seeing/hearing things and sorted them out and researched them further over the last 2 years, so people, not saying you that might feel like they have a twin personality I think I have possible 'self help' solutions. So we talk again when you've got over the big day, good luck be strong...