Been a battle for 28 years with no medication

madmark

madmark

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ive just woke up had a bad night and ime no doing to well been ill since boxing day and still not feeling to well ime feeling lost and isolated from the world if that makes any sense daisy is ill she has the lurgy sick bug feelis like i am on a roller coaster of doom and gloom with no brakes just sat about all day yesterday as little 1 is ill and the day felt so long drives me crazy my mum been back home for a few days now but cant go there as not feeling well and dont want to pass it to them hope u all better than i am
 
Liza9560

Liza9560

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Well, shitballs! Hm. Maybe try a juice fast to get vitamins and nutrients in and that crud out? Also, the supplements quercitin, mullein, and marshmallow root are great when you are ill. Here is an herbalist I’ve fallen in love with.


Could you put a face mask on to go visit your mom?

Feel better!
 
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madmark

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ok so had ecg and full blood counts taken last week and chest xray yesterday get results of all of it monday still not at work and not been to my mums/dads since boxing day seem to have built up a panic block against going there but am going to try in a bit once again to go there ive been in contact with wellbeing service as the doc said for ne to self refer done it and had talk to them yesterday and been refused help i got rejected lol never had that before but they say as my mum is still alive they cant help me move forward with positive thinking as ime still in the situation which is creating the trauma i can see there point but hey ime asking for support to cope and no help they sending a letter to my gp stating they rejected my self referal at this point ime in a ruck and cant find my way out at the moment hope u all ok and well as you can be
 
madmark

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well i done it made it to see my mum/dad got there and doctor there then ambulance off to hospital mum xrayed and checked sent back home with antibiotics so then i have the fun of trying to get her in to my car and get her back home in and settled its just a vicious circle and its like i sitting watching and waiting for her to die well i guess i am no cure this is what i cant get used to in my head u go to hospital and doctors to get help to make you better but there is nothing they can do is there i hate seeing this the hurt and pain in not only my mum but my dad and sister as well all my mum keeps saying to me is i dont want to be here no longer its so f+cking evil she is having to suffer this way and we all suffering with her along side her its not only killing her its killing me and my dad and my brother is already dead just seems no way to even try to move forward at the moment we all stuck at ROCK BOTTOM
 
madmark

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well i done it made it to see my mum/dad got there and doctor there then ambulance off to hospital mum xrayed and checked sent back home with antibiotics so then i have the fun of trying to get her in to my car and get her back home in and settled its just a vicious circle and its like i sitting watching and waiting for her to die well i guess i am no cure this is what i cant get used to in my head u go to hospital and doctors to get help to make you better but there is nothing they can do is there i hate seeing this the hurt and pain in not only my mum but my dad and sister as well all my mum keeps saying to me is i dont want to be here no longer its so f+cking evil she is having to suffer this way and we all suffering with her along side her its not only killing her its killing me and my dad and my brother is already dead just seems no way to even try to move forward at the moment we all stuck at ROCK BOTTOM ive found my emotion though i just keep crying my mind will not shut down and inside me is being ripped to pieces ime trying so hard to keep strong and think positive but HEY ive been told the end result so no positive left is there i am glad i was there for them today though to go with them and be there but realy not sure how much longer i can keep going or what or were to go next my head is a total mess
 
madmark

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ok so tonight at 9.45pm my mum lost her battle with cancer and sadly passed away
 
madmark

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well funeral is booked 19th feb my dad is so low and quite so am i i cant seem to focus on what or were to go still not working ime at my dads with him alot of the time for company also helping sort bits in the house out i slept for 12 hrs last night and feel like sh+t now just dont know what to write so i leave it here for now hope you all ok and as well as you can be the battle goes on
 
madmark

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not post a lot lately head been all over the place and yes tomorrow the big day my emotions inside me are a total mess out side me nothing just going on as normal best i can had a cry today just for 5 mins as took my dad to see my mum at rest and strangely it brought back me there sorting out my brothers funeral only 3 months ago let alone my mum laying in there i have so much to sort out in my brain/mind and catch up on reality of what has happened as all so quick and me focused on my dad and mum with pauls death then my mums care with my dad now my dad as my mum passed away had no time to let it work out with in me and ime doing my best to focus and rest myself
 
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J

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Hello Mark, I see you have really been experiencing tremendous hardship and adversity. I hope your chest infection has gone away. I wish things would calm down for you, it must feel like the troubles are never-ending. I wish I had an answer for how to cope with it all, but I do not. I have great difficulty coping with my own issues. It is extremely difficult. Fighting with my own depression and marital problems. My life is quite unstable as well.

I really hope things will improve for you. Take care of yourself, I am thinking about you.

James
 
madmark

madmark

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Hello Mark, I see you have really been experiencing tremendous hardship and adversity. I hope your chest infection has gone away. I wish things would calm down for you, it must feel like the troubles are never-ending. I wish I had an answer for how to cope with it all, but I do not. I have great difficulty coping with my own issues. It is extremely difficult. Fighting with my own depression and marital problems. My life is quite unstable as well.

I really hope things will improve for you. Take care of yourself, I am thinking about you.

James
hi james yes chest infection clear and now things have settled a little the reality of my brother and my mum both gone is hitting home with me and now ime so worried about my dad as his life totaly flipped for him worse than me so i doing my best to look after and be with him at 1st everyday now every other day and just a phone call away he trying to refind himself and so am i its not easy to keep myself focused still not working but am now thinking of returning to work part time to bring back some normality hope you ok james
 
madmark

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i had many years of learning and this is a massive low point and at least this time i understand why ime at this point and with that in mind i know what i need to do to help myself i have no profesional help on board just the doctor upped my medication to try which once again had a bad effect on me so stopped it after 3 weeks and back to none just me and myself i am treating myself with as much support and running things very slowly so as not to over do it or burn myself out and taking alot of time to reflect on what has happened and the way its making me feel daily
 
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madmark

madmark

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How are you doing, Mark?
hi ime still plodding through what has gone on over the last 6 months and giving time for my mind and body to a just and let what has happened sink in properly and as gentle as possible hope u ok
 
J

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Hi Mark, you have really been through a lot. You must be quite strong to cope with it all. I don't know how you do it. I am sure it is painful, I have gone through the death experience a number of times. Most of my family and friends are now gone. I am hoping and praying things will stabilize for you. You have been through so much.
James
 
J

JCPraha

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Hello Mark, we haven't heard from you for a while. Are you ok? I hope to hear from you soon. Take Care.
James
 
madmark

madmark

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still plodding through this situation will update over next 2 days alot going on hope u all ok and as well as you can be
 
J

JCPraha

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Hello Mark! I am thinking of you and wishing the best for you. I know you have been through a very lot, I hope you are ok.
 

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