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Bed Feels Like The Only Safe Place

prairiechick

prairiechick

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I just want to stay in bed all day long, and sleep forever. I am also mad at myself because I was planning to go the the Good Friday service at church, and I set my alarm and everything, but I couldn't get myself out of bed. All I wanted was to stay in bed all cozy and warn with my pillows and blankets all around me. But I still have assignments to do for Tuesday, plus an exam on Tuesday, so there can't be any slacking off.
 

MarlieeB

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I know how it feels to have my bed as the only safe place for me.

Can you do your assignments in bed until you feel a little better or just stay in there?

xxx
 
prairiechick

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I am staying in my pyjamas all day and sitting curled up on the couch with a nice, big shawl. What I really want to do is watch Netflix all day, but I have 2 assignments and a final exam due on Tuesday.
 
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Helena1

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Can you relax after tuesday?
why are you on a couch if bed is the only safe place?
 
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Disenchanted

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I know exactly what you mean. Bed has felt like my safe haven this week, away from people and situations that can potentially cause me more stress.

Sorry I don't have any advice, just wanted to say I understand.
 
prairiechick

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The couch is the next safe place, and I have to be on my computer but also going through notes in my binder. And I am trying to eat a smoothie while I'm working, and I can't do that in bed. Having my nice big shawl wrapped around me makes me feel safer. It's like having a blanket wrapped around me. I'm also listening to gentle, calming music on youtube.

After Tuesday I have to start studying for another final exam.
 

MarlieeB

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I hope you got through the day ok PC all nice and wrapped up like that.

xxx
 
prairiechick

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Maybe I should be in the hospital. I don't know. All I want is to stay in bed, to sleep forever. I'm not managing to keep my apartment clean, I'm not eating properly, I haven't showered since Wed., and I can barely focus on studying. But I really want to finish this semester. I'm so close to the end.
 

MarlieeB

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You have done so well to get to where you have and nearly finish this semester. How far have you got left?

xxx
 
prairiechick

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I've got some work to do on a presentation I will be doing with a partner on Tuesday, and an in-class final review, plus I have a final exam in my other Tuesday class, and then one last class on Wed. evening, and then a final exam on April 18.

I am really freaking out right now because I just talked briefly with my dad, and he mentioned getting a job for the summer, and logistically I don't know how that is going to work because I will be taking one class that goes from May-August, plus I will still be in therapy and still have a long way to go with the neurotherapy, and in Sept. I will be taking 4 classes plus doing about 16 hours a week of practicum, so I pretty much have to be done therapy by September and that's only 5 months away. I am in a freaking pressure cooker. I need to sit down and talk with my parents about everything, but I don't know when that's going to happen. I've got to get through the next 4 1/2 days without breaking down. I've got a million thoughts all swirling through my head and then I start thinking that I could put and end to all of this, permanently.
 

MarlieeB

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Ok so there's two weeks to go. You have done so well over the past months with your studying and everything else going on.

I think that it is too much pressure on you to get a job for the summer, you need a bit of time to relax. The worse thing would be to put too much pressure on yourself especially with the therapy needing to be over by September, that will play with your emotions so much so no, no job for you :hug1:

Please keep fighting PC, you have come so far even if you can't see it.

xxx
 
prairiechick

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I know getting a job for the summer is too much pressure, but financially I need to. My parents are helping me out financially, but there is a limit to what they are able to do, and I need to either get a job or see if I can apply for disability or something. But but I can't think about all that stuff while trying to finish the semester.
 

MarlieeB

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Yes, concentrate on the semester first and then you can start applying for things and go from there. You will do great, I know you will. You are very clever :hug1:

xxx
 
prairiechick

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I feel my anxiety escalating. I just took 1 mg of Lorazepam to try to calm down but I've been looking at suicide methods online and haven't done any studying yet today and it's 2:30 pm already.
 

MarlieeB

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I hope the Lorazepam works for you.

It's still early in the day. Please try not to look at that kind of stuff online PC :hug1:

xxx
 
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