Bearing my sole

wolram

wolram

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#1
For years I was an alcoholic I would drink a bottle of rum in the day time and be fit and able to go to work at night until I had an accident, I blacked out and drove my car into a gateway, I did not damage my car so I was able to drive it home.
The next day I went to the doctor and told him all about it, he told me that I must stop driving immediately if I did I would be breaking the law.
After this incident I was sitting alone in my cottage when I started hearing voices, I thought at the time that they were coming from outside but I could not see any one, this was the on set of my mental illness.
I lost my job and my mobility, I was stuck alone in my home, the strange thing is that the three voices I hear, shit head brown nose and fanny sound like 1900s cockney
I moved away from my home in 2008 to live with my family and have been hearing voices to date, they tell me constantly
To harm myself or others and remind me of every thing I have done wrong in the past.
The voices have made me depressive, every other day I want to kill myself and one day I will if I can not drag myself out of this horror.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#4
hello
if you think you have damaged your brain could you ask for some tests to be done?
i just wanted to send you lots of love and hugs
plese use the forum for support
love Lu x
 
wolram

wolram

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#5
hello
if you think you have damaged your brain could you ask for some tests to be done?
i just wanted to send you lots of love and hugs
plese use the forum for support
love Lu x
HI Fairy Lucrectia

I have had a CT scan that showed no anomalies, the doctors just said I have schizophrenia and depression, I do not believe them though, I just think deep in my brain the synapses are not firing right and I am pre programmed to commit suicide.
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

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#9
I don’t believe that you are preprogrammed to commit suicide, or that anyone is.
I didn’t say I don’t believe that people commit suicide. Sometimes, people can look fine to the outside world, but inside there is turmoil.
the doctors just said I have schizophrenia and depression, I do not believe them though
Why don’t you believe these diagnoses?
 
wolram

wolram

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#10
I don’t believe that you are preprogrammed to commit suicide, or that anyone is.
I didn’t say I don’t believe that people commit suicide. Sometimes, people can look fine to the outside world, but inside there is turmoil.

Why don’t you believe these diagnoses?
I do not believe them because my voices tell me not to, and I have fits of depression that can be very bad, I think I am only living for other people and my life is hollow.
 
Hopefuloldie

Hopefuloldie

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#11
Although I don't hear voices so frequently any more, I learned that they couldn't always be believed. I hope that you can learn to override what yours are saying to you. Have you been abstinent since 2008? I ask because my mother only ever became psychotic when she was unable to drink.
 
wolram

wolram

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#12
Although I don't hear voices so frequently any more, I learned that they couldn't always be believed. I hope that you can learn to override what yours are saying to you. Have you been abstinent since 2008? I ask because my mother only ever became psychotic when she was unable to drink.
Hi Hopefuloldie.

I gave up drinking heavily in 2008, I do cheat some times, I think my sphyc is useless the crisis's team are good god bless them but they are unable to give me answers.
I have little to live for, no one would miss me and I get no enjoyment out of life.

all the best Woolie.
 
Hopefuloldie

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#13
Hi Hopefuloldie.

I gave up drinking heavily in 2008, I do cheat some times, I think my sphyc is useless the crisis's team are good god bless them but they are unable to give me answers.
I have little to live for, no one would miss me and I get no enjoyment out of life.

all the best Woolie.
Please don't give up Woolie. I have been where you are, but everything changes eventually. Sometimes, the best we can do is to just hang on in there and try to keep ourselves as distracted as possible until it passes x
 
wolram

wolram

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#14
Please don't give up Woolie. I have been where you are, but everything changes eventually. Sometimes, the best we can do is to just hang on in there and try to keep ourselves as distracted as possible until it passes x
I have cut my charity work down to 2 days a week and have not been to church this Sunday,
I feel a little better, so may be there is hope.
How can I stop myself plunging into another fit of deep depression?

All the best woolie.
 
blamesydney

blamesydney

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#15
My husbands best friend is like you. He's an alcoholic, and after a long history of drinking lost his mobility and job, and stayed at home for years. He started showing symptoms of psychosis. He still drinks though, so it's hard to know if the psychosis is only relevant while drinking or not. I'd love to see more responses to this thread to see what the cause could be.
 
Hopefuloldie

Hopefuloldie

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#16
I have cut my charity work down to 2 days a week and have not been to church this Sunday,
I feel a little better, so may be there is hope.
How can I stop myself plunging into another fit of deep depression?

All the best woolie.
The things that seem to help me the most are keeping busy (mainly long walks, volunteering and local politics), exercising gratitude and practising mindfulness. The general aim of all of these is to keep myself out of my own head and avoiding overthinking. I hope that you can find what works for you xx
 
wolram

wolram

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#17
My husbands best friend is like you. He's an alcoholic, and after a long history of drinking lost his mobility and job, and stayed at home for years. He started showing symptoms of psychosis. He still drinks though, so it's hard to know if the psychosis is only relevant while drinking or not. I'd love to see more responses to this thread to see what the cause could be.
Hi blamesydney.

I hope I do not have psychosis, I am down most of the time and hear voices,Shit head, Brown nose and Fanny, my voices tell me horrible things.
I have been off the drink for 8 years now but I slip some times and have a couple of rums,
I can not stand being in a room with a lot of people that will bring me down very quickly I think they are all looking at me and judging me.
I think I live a hollow life with nothing to look forwards to, I am a waste of space and have no love for life.

All the best Woolie.
 
wolram

wolram

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#18
The things that seem to help me the most are keeping busy (mainly long walks, volunteering and local politics), exercising gratitude and practising mindfulness. The general aim of all of these is to keep myself out of my own head and avoiding overthinking. I hope that you can find what works for you xx
Hopefuloldie.
I worked for charity 3 days a week I have had to cut it down to 2 as it is to stressful, I used to love my work but now find it a chore that has to be done to keep me busy, I am a little better when I am busy, but still think people are talking about me,

All the best Woolie.
 
Hopefuloldie

Hopefuloldie

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#19
Hopefuloldie.
I worked for charity 3 days a week I have had to cut it down to 2 as it is to stressful, I used to love my work but now find it a chore that has to be done to keep me busy, I am a little better when I am busy, but still think people are talking about me,

All the best Woolie.
I agree that stress will be unhelpful. Maybe some physical exercise? I hate gyms, but I walk four or five miles every day out in the country. It really helps me to regain a sense of calm and relative wellbeing.
 
wolram

wolram

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#20
I agree that stress will be unhelpful. Maybe some physical exercise? I hate gyms, but I walk four or five miles every day out in the country. It really helps me to regain a sense of calm and relative wellbeing.
Thanks for the reply Hopefuloldie.

You know I live in the country but there are no longer any nice walks, when we were kids we used to walk over the fields but no more, the farmers wont allow it.
One has to travel by car to get to the nice walks unfortunately I can not drive.
One good thing is my CPN is arranging for a driver to take me out once a week, I have to pay some towards it but most is paid by the state I will have to see how that turns out.

Yours Woolie.