
I am battling with myself wether to write this or not, but i need some advice from someone somewhere as i feel its getting worse, i feel totally out of control of my own mind at the moment, my main trigger for my eating issues are one sentance by my ex, 'you will never be anything other than an ugly fat bitch covered in stretch marks' he said this to me the day after i had my first son, and in the past few months its been in my head everytime i eat anything, it happened years ago, my son is approaching 9 now, so why is it haunting me so much now, i cant keep anything down, its beyond control, within minutes of eating something i have to make myself sick, my husband worked out himself what i was doing and decided to accompany me to the toilet, which is horrible, so now i find myself not eating at all, i pick something up, check the calories and put it back on the shelf, my husband makes me eat a meal when hes home, and ive got to the point of trying to come up with ways to hide it so my hubby thinks im a bit better, yesterday i ate, then ran him a bath, told him to go and relax whilst i tidied up, then as soon as he was in the bath i went outside and was sick in the drain

i hate it, i hate the control my ex has over me, im exhausted but cant sleep and i look awful, i hate what i see when i look in the mirror..i want to be/feel normal again. but how?