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BAD times possible trigger

Gail

Gail

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Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
POSSIBLE TRIGGER
mentions sucide sh



Im in borderline personality disorder hell and i cant get out
I have had a very bad time spent the last 7 days in hospital I took an insulin od i was that desperate i wanted out so i really went for it in the amount i took. Now im not allowed any insulin at home they are aranging it so that the district nurse comes in everyday to give me my insulin. Had just finnished with the crisis team have now got them involved again Have got to see a CPN thursday.
Im tired of being feeling like this have only just come out of a few days spent in psy ward I was dam lucky i didt go back I think if the police had taken me in under a 136 i would have been sectioned (the police always turn up if an ambulance is called to my address due to past things). I still feel crap i have bad thoughts running round and round in my head and i dont know how to stop them or get rid of them
last time i went thou a patch like this i ended up on a section 3 in a secure unit and im so scared its going to happen again
 
H

honestjohn

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 11, 2008
Messages
94
POSSIBLE TRIGGER
mentions sucide sh



Im in borderline personality disorder hell and i cant get out
I have had a very bad time spent the last 7 days in hospital I took an insulin od i was that desperate i wanted out so i really went for it in the amount i took. Now im not allowed any insulin at home they are aranging it so that the district nurse comes in everyday to give me my insulin. Had just finnished with the crisis team have now got them involved again Have got to see a CPN thursday.
Im tired of being feeling like this have only just come out of a few days spent in psy ward I was dam lucky i didt go back I think if the police had taken me in under a 136 i would have been sectioned (the police always turn up if an ambulance is called to my address due to past things). I still feel crap i have bad thoughts running round and round in my head and i dont know how to stop them or get rid of them
last time i went thou a patch like this i ended up on a section 3 in a secure unit and im so scared its going to happen again
To try and help you find a settling down period while you work through things will make an offer to you to speak online everyday and share my bad days with yours?kidda of like support each other?but only if its okay with you.

My personality disorders are,schizoid,anti social,post traumatic distress and mild schizophenia,today i was banned off the schizoids net because its full of avoidants and little children,

Gail?live forever gal.:rolleyes:
 
Gail

Gail

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
thanks for your reply>
had a bad night called crisis team told them about the thought that was going round and round in my mind Cant go in voluntary as they dont have any spare beds Was told that if i started to follow that thought i need to tell them I know wot will happen if i did that the police would be called and i would end up on a one three six not going down that route
Plan for today
!) have breakfast
") internet for litlle while
£)music on
$) back to bed

Its wot works for me and it will keep me safe so be it
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Joined
Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,623
Hey Gail,

Hows the days plan working out for you?
How are you feeling today

Keepsafe
 
Gail

Gail

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
been in bed most of the day not been out as if i did i would buy something thats the wrong thing to by. see a cpn tomorrow am thinking of asking to be admitted
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,623
Glad you are seeing your cpn tomorrow - if it is in your best interests then you should talk it through with them. Are you an immediate danger? You should ring the crisis team again if you think so. I stay in bed as an avoidance technique too - usually leads to me being worse though. If it works for you for now then that is good.

Take it steady

KS
 
Gail

Gail

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Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
have been ringing crisis team all night im being told you are doing well its a matter of just finding things to help you pass the time and phone back in another hour if you need to I cant even tell him wots on my mind i want to act on it now but am resisting it as hard as possible

do you believe in fate in that wots to be is to be
do you believe in destiny
the moon is so beautiful tonite its like its singing to me
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Dec 15, 2008
Messages
13,623
Have you phoned the team back again - please tell them truly what you are thinking - If you need to go in to hospital then you need to...its a hard thing - a truly hard decision to make but if you want to stay safe then maybe it is the best decision you could make.

KS
:hug:
 
Gail

Gail

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Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
have just picked up a message on phone from cpn shes unable to make it to work asked me to ring there secutery and make an appoiment for next week so called number and it went straight to answering machine so just left a message saying i need to see someone its urgent I give up someone up there doent like me now i just wanna cry
 
W

Windblows

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Joined
Dec 20, 2007
Messages
141
Hi Gail
I know you don't feel fine but you are doing well just to hang on there.

Do you remember how it was when you were admitted before? Do you think it will help to have a repeat. Maybe or maybe not but the cycle needs to end one day - and not the way you are thinking.

Professional people are just people. The are not infallible so it is no use depending on them too much. They have not let you down by intention, we are all at the mercy of the elements. Many people are stranded inside there own homes not by choice.
Think what you can do, or need not do, to make yourself feel better today.
 
Gail

Gail

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Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
got a call from my ex sw told me to come in and see her. She was brillient i told her everything including about that thought she said i was doing really well not to follow it and that she knows im finding it hard at moment she was so nice shes to see if crisis team can become involved in my care over the weekend she knows its hard as have had 2 admittances in past month she just made me feel better
 
Gail

Gail

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Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
crisis team have to heavy a workload to be able to come and see me but they have been made aware of how im feeling so thats a start
 
W

Windblows

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Founding Member
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Dec 20, 2007
Messages
141
Yes, Gail, things seem to be looking up. You seem well reassured to know that help is on its way and now you can relax a bit:tea: I'm so glad :)
 
Gail

Gail

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Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
have just come out of psy ward tryed to do something bad Friday nite the police got involved so they put on a 136 and took me to ********* hospital I got given the option of using me voluntary admission plan so did that. dont know how i feel now but i will be ok just need to sort myself out have a meeting with sw tomorrow And my gp has a meeting with people involed in my care sometime this week they are going to try to work out something about my insulin ie how i get it think its going to be a case of having district nurse or going up doctors surgery each day still its all my own fault
feel so tired and tearful :cry::cry::cry::cry:
Thanks to everyone whos replied to post
 
Gail

Gail

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
saw my gp today the meetings not until next month. Because of wot happened last weekend and my past history they are not allowing a district nurse to come in . Im so ashamed of how i am and how i have been. My gp is going to see if he can get my insulin in a pen for just the right amount for each day. i dont know wot to do i feel like giving up To cap it all he gave me a prescription for just one pen i took it to a chemist down the city as i had some bills to pay when I got home i opened the box and the pharmacist has given one box of pens (5 pens) :mad:not one pen so now i will have to go to my local chemist and take 4 of the pens in, its not safe for me to have that many Im not saying i would take them all but on the other hand given my recent history i dont feel 100% safe with them in the house. i just wanna curl up and cry now im sick and tired of feeling like this
 
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