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Bad thoughts, panic attacks and more.

C

Cleggy999

New member
Joined
May 6, 2019
Messages
1
Location
England
Hi all,

This is the first forum I've ever registered to relating to mental health issues.
For the past two years, I've had horrible thoughts about dying from minor illnesses, I self-diagnose frequently and have frequent panic attacks maybe once a week. I used to be very outgoing and sociable, however during the past year I have became more socially awkward and don't really make the effort. I broke up with my ex girlfriend because I couldn't think straight and I didn't want her finding out I was going to die from a horrible disease. I was in hospital last January because I had a rash that was similar to sepsis to which I was put onto 4 drips and this is a nightmare for me as I again had a panic attack in the hospital. I was diagnosed with Glandular fever however I still have 2 enlarged lymph nodes on my neck which my anxiety instantly points to cancer and ultimately death. Unfortunately, I have done so much research on various diseases such as various cancers, MS, Parkinsons, Anxiety and depression that I constantly check for symptoms or signs that I may have one of these.

I believe I have mild social anxiety and severe health anxiety however I haven't gone to my GP because I don't want to use SSRIs because my friend said it made him feel numb to emotion? My family on my fathers side has a history of anxiety with my uncle being unable to work for 30 years from the condition and I'm finding it hard to concentrate on university, work and my social life with this unbearable thought that I won't be here much longer or I'll too be unable to function normally because of it.

I have spoke to my friends about the condition and I have had panic attacks in front of them to which they are very supporting but I don't believe understand the extent to which it effects my life. I am currently ill with flu I guess but I woke up in full body sweat and in full blown panic this morning with awful thought loops that I couldn't break and it has shook me for the day. Thinking about what I was experiencing puts me on the edge of panic. I just want to be live my life without constantly worrying about my health. I am relatively healthy with no history of any condition(s). I have also considered buying running gear and going for jogs in the morning to try promote a healthier lifestyle which can go hand in hand with mental health.

I just thought I'd share my experience and get it off my chest, but any advice would be appreciated.
 
T

Tomorrows a new day

Well-known member
Joined
May 2, 2019
Messages
165
Location
England
Hello there, it's fear that's underlining all of your issues, it releases hormones in your body preparing you for an attack. You can work these hormones off be doing some exercise because your body is excepting you to run off to prevent an attack. A low dose of meds can help you if you're struggling to contain things, you don't have to be a zombie, also some deep breathing practise helps to reduce the anxiety, good luck
 
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