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Bad thoughts and switching them

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floral85

Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2019
Messages
8
Location
United States
For the parents out there who were getting bad, mean, or violent thoughts about your kids. At any point did you change the thoughts to someone else so they weren't about your kids?

I was getting such awful mean, bad, violent thoughts pertaining to my kid at one point and I remember switching the thoughts to my husband so they weren't about my kid. I only did this for a little while and then I switched it to other people, then realized I could just switch it to myself.

I didn't want the thoughts. But I felt I had to do it in order to not have the thoughts about my kid.

So like when I had to do something like turn off the light switch, open a door, get dressed, and other things if I got a thought I would have to replace it with someone else or I would just have a mean thought on purpose about someone else even though I loved them just so it wasn't about my kid.

This hasn't bothered me for years because I knew I was just replacing the thought. but now I feel so majority guilty 8 years later and feel like I don't deserve my husband. This wasn't just thoughts that popped up, I had them on purpose to avoid getting bad thoughts about my kid.

It was the only thing I knew how to do at the time. Now I just get the thoughts about myself on purpose to avoid them being about other people. I wish I would have tried that years ago.
 
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polarbear

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
22
Location
Tyne & Wear
This sounds such a burden, must be exhausting having to keep redirecting the thoughts.
 
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floral85

Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2019
Messages
8
Location
United States
It really is but that is the only way I knew how to stop getting them about my kid. At the time, that's all I wanted was to get rid of the thoughts about him. Luckily, now I have discovered to just get the thoughts about myself which sounds weird. But like if I get a bad thought, I immediately change it to myself that way it's not about anyone else. It sounds so weird.

Do I even deserve my husband?
 
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polarbear

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
22
Location
Tyne & Wear
The thoughts are out of your control, it’s not your fault and it doesn’t sound weird.
 
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