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Bad social skills

B

babyblue1

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2020
Messages
2
Location
Houston, Texas
Hi I’m new to this and I’ve never had therapy and just recently came to the realization that I’d like some, but with covid, in-person sessions are impossible to find and I’m iffy about talking over the phone. Also, I’m weary of speaking to doctors because i feel like they don’t care enough and just hand out medications, which I prefer not to take.

I have a weird thing where sometimes I can’t speak normally and I think it stems from anxiety. I sometimes have moments where I freeze up and I mask it with using way too many crutch words to try to get my point across. I’ll feel nervous when there’s nothing to be nervous about.

I noticed that I’ve formed a REALLY weird habit of sometimes exhaling everything in my lungs before speaking (usually when I’m anxious) causing me to lose my breath as soon as I start talking, which results in weird vocal inflections. If I don’t do this when I have these feelings of nervousness, I can’t even begin to speak. This happens a lot when I talk over the phone, or when I’m speaking to someone I hold in high regards. My heart starts to beat really fast. It’s like I’m scared of something but I don’t know what. I stuttered a lot as a kid and though I think I’ve mostly outgrown that, sometimes it still affects me at the most random times.

This has affected me for many years and has resulted in a very weak social life and I’m not sure how to overcome it. My self esteem is also very low because of it. I’d love some sort of guidance on this, thanks!
 
H

HanscomBen

Member
Joined
Aug 2, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Paisley, Scotland
Hey, not sure I can offer much in the way of advice as I suffer from most of the same issues but it helps to know you're not alone. It sound just like the classic fight or flight instinct. Your body is getting ready to run away which is not really what you need when you're about to have a conversation.
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
918
Hi I’m new to this and I’ve never had therapy and just recently came to the realization that I’d like some, but with covid, in-person sessions are impossible to find and I’m iffy about talking over the phone. Also, I’m weary of speaking to doctors because i feel like they don’t care enough and just hand out medications, which I prefer not to take.

I have a weird thing where sometimes I can’t speak normally and I think it stems from anxiety. I sometimes have moments where I freeze up and I mask it with using way too many crutch words to try to get my point across. I’ll feel nervous when there’s nothing to be nervous about.

I noticed that I’ve formed a REALLY weird habit of sometimes exhaling everything in my lungs before speaking (usually when I’m anxious) causing me to lose my breath as soon as I start talking, which results in weird vocal inflections. If I don’t do this when I have these feelings of nervousness, I can’t even begin to speak. This happens a lot when I talk over the phone, or when I’m speaking to someone I hold in high regards. My heart starts to beat really fast. It’s like I’m scared of something but I don’t know what. I stuttered a lot as a kid and though I think I’ve mostly outgrown that, sometimes it still affects me at the most random times.

This has affected me for many years and has resulted in a very weak social life and I’m not sure how to overcome it. My self esteem is also very low because of it. I’d love some sort of guidance on this, thanks!
hi babyblue....welcome to the forums.....i know how tough social anxiety is, i have it myswelf......have you ever tried self help groups for soccial anxiety....i attend one myslef and find it supportive.....you can find these groups on www.meetup.com ......also there is another website for social anxiety that i find helpful, its www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum
 
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