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Bad person, bad daughter

MarlieeB

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Having a wobble since last night.

Kept on crying at work.

I should be going to my parents later to spend the night there before tomorrow and even though I want to go, mostly to see the dog and so I don't have to get up as early I'm really anxious about it.

I just feel like a bad person right now :(
 

MarlieeB

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I feel ashamed that I just want to go home now but I'm stuck here, with no meds (stupid Marliee forgot them)

I do feel like a bad person but I do know that deep down I'm not and I also don't think you would all agree so I don't think there is much point trying to argue that.

I am a bad daughter though. Who wants to not be around their family. If I could I would cut my family off but the one main thing that is keeping me from doing that is Max (The dog) silly I know and as I work with my mum and brother, well they are on days and I'm on nights I can't just avoid them.

I put a Facebook post on yesterday describing how I was regretting working 8 nights in a row and to do something if I ever agreed to do it again and my brother responded saying that I should do it more often as they don't hear from me. It's not a one off though. I am the family joke, they never take me seriously, they don't know me. I wish they would actually get to know the person who I am but they don't like that person because I don't agree with their views (which are quite bad) and I'm not judgemental.

Meh, bring on tomorrow evening when I'm home. If only I could take Max with me.
 
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pepecat

pepecat

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I do feel like a bad person but I do know that deep down I'm not and I also don't think you would all agree so I don't think there is much point trying to argue that.
That's the bit you need to hang on to :)

I am a bad daughter though. Who wants to not be around their family.
Well....... I'm spending christmas on my own (by choice) rather than with my parents, so.......me, to an extent.
There were extenuating circumstances with my decision, but rather than have a potential load of hassle and driving all over the place, I chose to be on my own.

I don't think it makes you a bad person - Christmas is a stressful time; and more so than usual because of the expectations that families 'should' be together and happy etc.
(Christmas is also one of the worst times for domestic violence, so go figure)
 

MarlieeB

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I wish I could spend it alone at the moment but it would cause me so much hassle, hence why I want to try and move away, to get away from them as well as other reasons.

I feel like I am a bad person for many reasons, it's something I have come to accept over the years it's just times like these that make me remember certain things which give me these reasons.

Dunno. Sorry for typing such nonsense :)
 
pepecat

pepecat

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I"m not sure you're a bad person at all.

Maybe you've just had to find ways to survive and cope, and because those ways are not what your family 'expect' you to be like, you feel like a bad person for being different to them.
It doesn't make you bad - it's just something that arose out of circumstance. It can make you feel bad, but it doesn't make you bad.
 
C

Callalily

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Hey MB, Christmas can be such a stressful time. Bit worried that you don't have your meds, I think I remember seeing you are on Venlafaxine? If there is anyway you could go back and pick them up I would really advise you go and get them. I suffer really badly if I am just late taking a dose of Venlafaxine :hug1:
 

MarlieeB

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No I can't go back and get them :( I might have a chance in the morning but that depends on whether they decide to see my Gran tomorrow or on Friday.

Yes, I am on Venlafaxine. I'm a little worried too :(
 
C

Callalily

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If it's at all possible to get it, I would. You could end up incredibly ill. Something I would recommend for anyone taking ven (and other drugs but Ven is particularly bad for it) would be to have some with you at all times, in your purse, you can buy little capsule holders that are keyrings too. That way you can never be caught without.

Have you ever missed a dose of it before? It effects people differently but Ven is notoriously bad for it.
 
H

Helena1

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you should demand someone drops you off so you can get them tonight. tell them they dont want you in withdrawal tomorrow.
 

MarlieeB

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Nope, never missed a dose before. Hopefully I can be fine till I get them......

Thank you Cal :)

xx
 
Q

Quickduck

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Forgetting something doesn't equate with being stupid; or at least I hope it doesn't or else I'd be the stupidest person in the world as I am terribly forgetful. :hug: x

Your not a bad person or a bad daughter Marliee; families can be a nightmare sometimes and speaking personally I feel far more relaxed, happier and more myself when I'm on my own. :hug: x
Your brother's post on Facebook was extremely unkind. You are a wonderful lady and it's a pity your family can't get to know you for who you are. :hug: x
 
L

LadyBetts

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Hi Marliee,

Im having the same issue I posted about not wanting to go home for Christmas. I feel guilty for not liking my parents. Im going now because I feel guilty my mom called me 21 times this morning to go and when I called back I got yelled at for being inconsiderate. They don't believe in depression. Let me know if you ever find an answer to this problem. Your not a bad person you are wonderful and you made me feel welcome here, you told me Im not a bad person for not wanting to be around them for Christmas and Im telling you you are not a bad person you are a great person!

-Lady Betts
 
krista

krista

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You are not a bad person! you are a very caring and lovely Bee, Marley! :)

but I know what you mean. I am not seeing my family this Christmas. and not because I can't, but because I don't want to. They are not bad people, just I am not very family orientated. I am better off being alone.
and my pet is my best company this Thursday.
 
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