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bad night

E

eternity

Active member
Joined
Jun 22, 2009
Messages
30
driving myself nuts tonight wondering if my husband is visiting his girlfriend because he hasn't been here. good news is we go for our first session of couples counselling on friday. i'm starting to wonder if my marriage is worth fighting this hard for. he has let it get to this point without trying to stop it so now i'm wondering if it wasn't so great to start with.
i think part of it is stressing out because i know that i have to go out tomorrow which is a big deal for me at the minute. i have to go to younger daughter's school to collect her report as i have to sign for it and when i rang and told them today that i couldn't collect it at home time because it would be too busy i was told to collect it in the morning when it's just as bad. i then have to go to the dentist which i hate at the best of times and finally i have to go to my older daughter's school to watch their production as she's involved in it.
i hate that my thoughts just keep going round in circles and every time i start to feel in control of my life my mood drops and it's gone again. it's not even a case of not knowing what mood i'm going to be in day to day it's more hour to hour.
i've pretty much been a stay at home mum since our daughters were born but now i've got to think about going back to work and the thought terrifies me. i can't even leave the house on my own at the minute. plus i need to find something to fit in my studies as i'm half way through an open university degree and have time for the kids. some days i'm really positive about it or at least i make all the right noises to my family but it's just so scary.
i feel confused and frustrated all the time. it doesn't help that i'm constantly getting mixed signals from my husband about what he wants but i'm preparing for the worst as much as i can. i continously question any decisions that i make. normally i just make a choice and then it's done and i have to live with the consequences but i can't seem to do that at the minute.
i hope tomorrow is a good day.
sorry for the rant but i needed to let it out and it's too late to ring anyone.:redface:

eternity:unsure:
 
E

eternity

Active member
Joined
Jun 22, 2009
Messages
30
oh well didn't manage to collect my daughter's report. the headmistress hadn't signed her class's so they weren't ready last night with the others so i couldn't make myself go for it incase it wasn't ready. i find it harder to cope with things if they don't go as planned or anticipated. :unsure:

eternity
 
KP1

KP1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
1,500
Hi Eternity, I know what you mean by questioning your decisions. I am sure this is a symtom of depression. I'm sorry to hear about your relationship, you're very good going for couple counselling I hope it works out for you. Look after yourself.
KP
 
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