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Bad name

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firemonkee57

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Mar 23, 2009
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Why do people with personality disorders get a bad name even on quite a few mental health forums?
Even people with other mental illnesses can be prejudiced against us so is it any wonder that society as a whole often sees us in a dismissive and negative light :(

Posted re being unsuitable for therapy on another forum and was greeted by this hurtful comment
"Personality Disordered people are to busy using people as objects."
 
B

Buddha

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Mar 9, 2010
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A story & A principle

There is a story that I read somewhere?

Someone once asked Buddha: Master, how do you deal with people when they come to you, insult you and call you all sorts of names. How do you keep your calm and not get upset?

Buddha said: 'If someone gave you a gift and you did not accept it, to whom does the gift belong?'

What Eckhart Tolle says is the following:

'Whatever you fight, you strengthen.'

If you do not want to strengthen the people who give bad names to people with whatever - do not fight with them.

This also applies conversely: people who are fighting with people (with PD diagnosis) through giving them bad name - are actually strengthening people with a dignosis of PD. Look at this forum.
 
MadEmma

MadEmma

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Apr 15, 2010
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lala land
Why do people with personality disorders get a bad name even on quite a few mental health forums?
Even people with other mental illnesses can be prejudiced against us so is it any wonder that society as a whole often sees us in a dismissive and negative light :(

Posted re being unsuitable for therapy on another forum and was greeted by this hurtful comment
"Personality Disordered people are to busy using people as objects."
I think everyone has a mental illness in some way or another. The fact someone takes it upon themselves to make a point of putting someone down for thier illness is proof of that. That person posting is a closed minded judgemental ar*e. Nothing gives them the right to judge someone like that, how do they know how another feels or does as a result of thier illness. 'Personality disordered people' that is putting a lot of different mental illnesses in one group, they probably dont even realize there are more than one personality disorder.

Society are negative towards mental illness because it is something they dont understand or want to understand. Creating a stigma towards us and being hurtful helps them cope with thier own insecurities and fits with thier closed mindset. People like that are what create mental illnesses with thier bias 'brush it under the carpet' mentalities.

Grr it makes me really angry. These people do they think they are normal? Being normal to me is accepting people for thier differences and respecting them for thier views.
 
Astrid

Astrid

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Mar 24, 2010
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USA
Why do people with personality disorders get a bad name even on quite a few mental health forums?
Even people with other mental illnesses can be prejudiced against us so is it any wonder that society as a whole often sees us in a dismissive and negative light :(

Posted re being unsuitable for therapy on another forum and was greeted by this hurtful comment
"Personality Disordered people are to busy using people as objects."
Well I think whoever said that obviously has some misconceptions about PDs. Yes some people with PDs can be manipulative but to say we all are is complete ignorance and stereotyping.
Secondly I think some people with other mh problems don't think personality disorders are "real" (I have seen this stated numerous times).
As for society as a whole...I don't know about over there but here in the States I think the average person wouldn't even know what a PD is. There is very little discussion about PDs in the media, etc (except once in a blue moon you might hear about borderline).
 
dib4uk

dib4uk

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Jul 23, 2009
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south london,england
Why do people with personality disorders get a bad name even on quite a few mental health forums?
Even people with other mental illnesses can be prejudiced against us so is it any wonder that society as a whole often sees us in a dismissive and negative light :(

Posted re being unsuitable for therapy on another forum and was greeted by this hurtful comment
"Personality Disordered people are to busy using people as objects."
I wish i had the answer but sadly i dont :(

I dont know maybe its the general ignorance that is in society that helps to form the wrong image of what personality disorders are and how it can affect the individual.

I would ignore what that poster said because i believe that therapy is a good thing for pd individiuals, and from the group that i attend for pd i wouldnt say that anyone is like that discription not at all.
 
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reno340

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Apr 17, 2010
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USA
There are several aspects of this that I have witnessed in my career.
The first part is of that of the sick role. In the sick role there are two main comonents. 1st- one is excused of responsibilities while sick. 2nd is that one must do what it takes to get well. Health care workers and friends/family become frustrated as in dealing with a personality disorder, there is no disease (axis I). The resulting behaviors from a personality disorder are exactly that, behaviors. People know that behaviors are under that person's control. What people don't understand it that a personality disorder (axis II) is a dysfunctional way of interpretering the world at large. The problem with that is that the person with a personality disorder then reacts to their misperception even though it is seriously flawed. For example, If one sees the world as full of people who wish to harm or otherwise will take advantage of them, that person will react accordingly. The way that they react has been learned as a way to survive that reality. (it was probably once was functional in a very ill family dysfuctional system) even though these behaviors are driven by a different reality, people see them as attempts to not fulfill the second part of the sick role (to do what it takes to get better) and they become frustrated and angry.

Secondly: as a health care worker, I am far more likely to be verbally and /or physically assaulted by someone with a personality disorder than that of one who has an Axis I mental illness (except paranoid schizophrenia). Simply this, No one likes to be yelled at or hit. Even if there is an apology, there are still strong negative feelings associated to this. Repeated exposure tends to build in negative feelings over time. People do need educated on personality disorders to help them to understand the motive behind the behaviors.
 
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mad as a hatter

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i,ve got bipolor and a pd so if i,d hit or yelled at u what would u blame it on the pd
 
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reno340

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No, I'd blame it on you
 
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mad as a hatter

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fair enough just u said ur more likely2 get assulted bysome 1 with a pd than ne the others so i mught be ill with bipolor sothat,s ok 2 shout at u but if it was a pd u would blame me
 
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reno340

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No, No matter what, we are responsible for our own behavior.
I never said that anyone's behavior was to be excused. Not the persons with axisI or II nor even the staff persons who harbor their prejudices. I just showed you what is behind their behaviors.
 
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mad as a hatter

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i do agree with u on that we r responsiblie for what we do i find it hard having both cause they r so similiar so it,s difficult 2 now which 1 causing me the most problems i,ve certainly worked hard over the last yr not 2 act on what i,d call my bad behaviours not properly self harmed in over a yr was always in hospital as well not ne more tend 2 ask more for help these days even tho it,s a slow process at times i wouldn,t 2 think i,d harm ne mh worker i have got agressive in the past not so much these days cause i,ve worked on it there,s just flashes at times but yeah i find there attitude stinks at times they call people with pd,s attention seekers i find that real hurtful and not really helpful either
 
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reno340

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Yes, it is very hurtful. I think we both can agree that in every profession, there are some who should not be employed in what they do. But there are others for whom it is their true purpose.

Actually, here is a quote that addresses this but moreso I sense you may need it to help you find an answer in some tough times. One of those things that you can read in different times of your life and it will have a different significance to you.

Victor Frankl:
A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how."
 
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mad as a hatter

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sorry i wish i did get it must be 2 late now suppose i,m lucky i got a good cpn but not much access 2 the pdoc,s ne more maybe cause my past behaviours i,m bein punished for this it,s bit unfair cause i don,t know what direction i,m heading in ne more my care is non exsistent theses days sad it really is
 
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reno340

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Never too late my friend. Sorry it is not working out well for you. No matter what, do not give up trying to get proper help.
 
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mad as a hatter

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well once i c my cpn in a few wks i,ll be trying 2 get this mess sorted out if i can last that long better get 2 bed i suppose it,s gettin late now
 
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