Bad couple of days.

[TOONAFISH]

Hi all.

Hope everyone is ok.


I have been gradually feeling better since gettin out of hospital last summer. Stated volunteer work in october which progressed to a job just part time as a care assistant. they know my mental health background and are quite supportive.

Two weeks ago a close family friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Her daughter and daughter in law are close friends of mine also and it is very ..... depressing.

Also i have had a few problems down below and think im heading for an operation. I have just recently had surgery for an overactive thryoid and had to have my thryoid removed. My psoriasis is flared up and i cracked my tooth on Tuesday and have to get it out but there is no appointement

So you see nothing major, just a lot of little things getting on top of me.

I feel like the house is gettin on top of me, wondering if I *can* cope with working again, and just generally feeling depressed. Not black, not suicidal, just depressed.

I dont want to let this escalate but what do i do about it.

Im already on two anti d's, lithium, and risperidone. I see a cbt lady once a fortnite and my cpn every other fortnite.

I am panicing thinking im heading for a major episode.

Please help, i dont know what to do.

I know all you lovely people understand, and im sorry to moan, i just want to feel better.

Im also dealing with bulimia at the moment. and find it harder when im feeling depressed. Just had a bit of a mad binge today.

feel like im falling to bits lol

hope someone has some advice

thanks for reading xxx

 

[RedRoseBeauty]

Hiya

I'm sorry to hear about all those things, it can't be easy.
I hope your tooth isn't too painful for you!!!

I wish I could offer you an amazing idea as to how to deal with it all but all I can think to say is talk to a professional about how you are feeling?
Explain that it's the little things that are getting to you and you have a fear you'll relapse.
Does anyone know about your bulimia?
I suffer from bulimia too so i know how hard it is to control when you're upset!

I'm sorry this isn't very helpful

 

[DELATEXT]

Hi

YOU'RE NOT MOANING OKAY, YOU'VE EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL SAD AND UPSET ABOUT YOUR FRIEND, SORRY TO HEAR YOU'RE HAVING SUCH A ROTTEN TIME OF IT !!
YOU'RE VERY STRONG AND HAVE DONE SO WELL,
I SUGGEST YOU TALK TO YOUR MEDICAL SUPPORT ABOUT ALL THIS, I HOPE THEY CAN HELP YOU IN A POSITIVE WAY.
THERE IS NO EASY ANSWER TO THIS VERY DIFFICULT PROBLEM??
ALL I CAN SAY IS YOU'VE HAD A TERRIBLE TIME OF IT, LIFE CAN BE UNFAIR BUT YOU'VE OVERCOME A LOT AND I ADMIRE YOU FOR THAT.
WE ALL WISH YOU WELL AND WE WILL DO ALL WE CAN TO SUPPORT YOU !!!!!

 

[TOONAFISH]

Hi RRB

Thanks for your reply. I just re read my post and what a total whinger. I hate being so pathetic, there are so many worse of people in the world. I wish I could just give myself a shake.

My tooth is due to be temporary fixed tmrw if i can get an emergancy apointment. Quite sore but better today.

Bulimia started when I was small. Stopped for a good 5 years, but since Ive put on weight with meds etc it has come back. Told someone for the first time about two weeks ago. Had a counselling session with her she was really good about it and gave me some stuff to do.

Sorry to here you have it too. I thought I was quite crafty when I started doing it, not realising it was an actuall named thing. I was only 12 or something.

Anyway thanks for your reply really appreciate it. x

 

[TOONAFISH]

Delatext, thank you so much. I really appreciate your relpy. Its strange how people you have never met can make you feel a little better. thanks for your comments. xx

 

[DELATEXT]

Take care

THANKS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF , YOU'RE DEALING WITH VERY HARSH THINGS THEY'D TEST ANYONE

 

[greenstar]

Hi toonafish

I can really relate to how you're feeling, various things building up and the worry of it heading into a major depression. And just like you said, I'm feeling like I'm falling to bits...

And what you say about wanting to give yourself a shake and feeling pathetic - I'm the same at the moment. I'm really leaning on people and going on about my issues, I hate being like this.

But I don't want this post to be an outlet for me to have a moan, it's your thread (though I may need to start one of my own soon) So I will say that I can empathise and that I don't think you're pathetic, it's horrible feeling like this. And that talking/getting it off your chest/having a moan can help, and I guess that's why this forum is here, because there are people here who can understand how it feels. You don't have to feel like you're whingeing here, and you aren't. So sorry to hear about your friend. x

 

[TOONAFISH]

Have just come off the phone to my friend. My friend has less than two months they have said. It is so tragic. Meeting my friend (her daughter) tommorow, she wanted to meet. Hope i can handle it ok.



thanks greenstar, sorry your feeling pants too. that shouldnt help, but in a strange way, having someone feeling the same,helps. how selfish am i lol

stay strong x

 

[RedRoseBeauty]

you aren't pathetic,
it's the little things that get me down too.
having loads of little things is just as bad if not worse than one big thing!!

I hope you are okay tomorrow love!! x

 

[greenstar]

That's so sad about your friend toonafish, I really hope you will find the strength to handle things.

And I'm glad it helps that I'm feeling similar, makes me feel useful, which is something I haven't been feeling much recently! I find it does help when other people can relate to how you feel, even though you don't actually want other people to be feeling bad x

 

[TOONAFISH]

Feeling slightly better today although I have to meet by friend this afternoon. Luckily my sister is going to come too so will have some help. What do you say to someone who's mum is dying? I just want to make it all better, and there is nothing I can do.

On a positive note, it is Friday! And the sun is shining here. My daughter is playing happily on the floor here and cheering me up.

Thanks for your support it is very much appreciated.

xxx

 

[greenstar]

Hi toonafish, how did things go today meeting your friend?

 

[TOONAFISH]

Hi. My friend is being incredibly brave. We had a good cry when i first got there. Then we talked about her mum quite a bit. She said she wanted to take photos and videos of her mum so her son wouldnt forget her when i grew up (he is only 20months). but it felt wrong to do it, knowing the reason why she was doing it.

She has to go back to work and is dreading it.

My heart breaks for my lovely friend and her mum. I cant imagine how they all feel.

I had a drink last night as i really felt the need to get wastexd. suffering today but mood not too bad.

thanks for asking xxx

 

[DELATEXT]

SORRY

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR FRIEND AND YOUR SUFFERING,
YOU ARE BRAVE COPING WITH THIS, MAKE THE MOST OF THE TIME YOU HAVE TOGETHER ??


some stars shine so bright,
they are gone like lanterns of love,
against a cold dark night,
they radiate and lift us above,
never forget an angels face,
or the moments we have,
that time may displace ??
you shelter them in your heart,
wrapped in love, even if they must depart,
to soon, like melting snow,
but you remember them and you'll always know.


for your friend

 

[TOONAFISH]

delatext

thanks for that its really nice xxx