Bad Bad day..

[Nutter_09]

Hi all,

Just need to have a moan I think. Been really fed up and am being a total bitch to my boyf.
I still have no job - I have beel looking like crazy and am only 50% sure I am ready to go back but my confidence is soo low at the moment.
Had my 3rd counselling sesh Wed and I was just so down, I spent the whole 50 mins staring into the corner trying to will the time to pass so I could get out and just cry. When I left, I just had some wine - I am not allowed to drink on my tabs but sometimes I just have to get away - either to make me happy or to release all the anger.
I'm having my up's and down's at the mo but I am so scared of loosing my boyf - we have been together about 5 months but we have really bonded and I love him to bits. He has been great about everything but I don't show my depressed side to him If i can help it.
I have also still not come on my period which is worrying me. I missed it last month but had messed up my pill and taken the morning after pill - I should come on now but still nothing. More tests I suppose.

Sorry to go on - just needed a real rant tonight.

 

[nickh]

- one of the things the Forum is for is having a good moan!

Is the counselling not going well because you are so down or because you are not getting on with the counsellor?

Nick.

 

[keepsafe]

I am sorry you are feeling at such a low ebb, I can understand the difficulty of talking about things, but maybe just try a to let a little of something out each time and maybe it will become easier? I find it so difficult to talk, but I have had that many appointments since Sept I have got a little better about talking - its not easy and I still can't talk about the really important issues - but I hope you can find a way to let some of the things out.
Take Care
KS

 

[Nutter_09]

Thanks,
I like my counsellor, she can find ways of opening me up but last wed I was just soo down I couldn't get myself into it.

My main worry at the mo is my boyf. It's my first proper relationship and I am soo worried about what I say/do that I might loose him - I know if he don't like it then thats his prob but I really love him and don't wanna loose him.