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Bad 9/11 anniversary

G

Girl interupted

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Nov 17, 2018
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I don’t know what it is, but this year is hitting me hard. I have previously gone from 2012 to now, thinking I had beat the associated ptsd.

But holy hell this year anniversary has crippled me and I have no idea why. I was in nyc that day. I ran against the throngs fleeing the city. I walked through an entirely empty times square, my hand over my mouth because CNN has said the WTT were built with asbestos.

im not looking for sympathy, I need empathy. I’m drowning today.

Anyone else?
 
T

Tragically_

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Jul 31, 2020
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Israel
" I need empathy "

yea, I can relate...it was my birthday. bad lonely day.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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To have experienced such a traumatic event it is understandable you are struggling with the memories. I can only imagine the flashbacks you are getting. How are you feeling now? I am thinking of you.
 
Delilah67

Delilah67

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Herefordshire
What a terrible experience to have lived through!
Allow yourself to remember, to feel the emotion today, be kind to yourself and tomorrow will hopefully be a better day .
Don’t forget what a traumatic year we have all had with Covid 19 , eating away at normality ( whatever that is!)
Now it seems to be on a second peak and I can’t bare the thought of all that isolation again .
 
N

Nukelavee

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But holy hell this year anniversary has crippled me and I have no idea why.
Because, in many ways, it's been a shit year. It's eaten up a lot of peoples reserve tolerance for stress. People are emotionally tired, and when we are drained, it's easy for old traumas to resurface.

Plus, the media is full of American politics (I think a lot of people here don't realize just how closely tied our media and news is to American events and issues), and it's all depressing news, full of hate and injustice. We're old enough to remember the 90's, we know 9/11 was when America changed to this new mood.

Honestly, 9/11 never meant much to me. Yes, it was a tragedy for so many people, but.... meh, covid has been killing the same number of people daily for months. It has no emotional weight for me.

Oddly, I was at teh WTC the day before the first bombing.

It's been an overwhelming year, making this anniversary hit even harder than usual.
 
G

Girl interupted

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Nov 17, 2018
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2,179
Thank you guys. I, of course, turned to booze to cope and im now dealing with the increased fallout depression from it.

I think you’re right. My tolerance for stress is at an all time low these days. I should have stayed off social media yesterday.

It just felt so defeating to relive all that day again, I thought I had finally moved past it. And then, of course, it made me worried that all my newfound stability this year would come crashing down, too.

There‘s nothing like losing your grip, even if only slightly, to make you panic about a landslide. It’s that stupid black and white thinking again.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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I can imagine how distressing it was being on social media while you were anxious anyway. It is understandable you fear crashing again. You are in a different place now. You have worked so so hard on yourself and you are better equipped at dealing with your emotions. Having a dip does not mean you will be in the same situation you were once in. Carry on posting. I never want you to think you are alone.
 
T

Tragically_

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Israel
Wow 2020 is just an absolute shet yearfor sure

I have never had this much constant pressure and stress on me
 
P

Purpleplum

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Feb 7, 2020
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All of us who lived through it are feeling it again but for you that must be magnified. I only saw the people in the streets on TV that day but you were in it. The confusion that was going on that day was so immense. It seems like you might have PTSD from it. That would be understandable.
 
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