• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

back to square one

M

margarete1967

Member
Founding Member
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
22
Location
yorkshire
I have been looking after a neighbour who also suffers depression. He knows I suffer from the disease and I help him as much as I possibly can.
Anyway i was picking up and doing quite well up until friday.
He rang me up to pop round and told me to come alone. I did, and got the shock of my life- he had cut his arms to shreds and taken an overdose. I did all I could at the time, rang his family, ambulance etc.
After several hours in casualty and seeing a crisis team they sent him home, saying he wasnt a danger.(his family are disgusted and so am I.).
I went the next day with my hubby to clean up the mess and found knives all over his house what he had used to cut himself with-and they said he wasnt a danger to himself.
The thing is im worried now. i cant get the image out of my head and its really getting to me. Im not sleeping and crying all the time.
I know when his family go back to work this week that they are going to ask me to look after him. I want to but i am scared that he tries to take his life again. I have enough on my plate at the moment-getting over the shock is hard enough.
To be honest with myself I think I am mad with him. I am so annoyed that he would only let me go round to find him in that state. he knows my husband was home and he could have dealt with things better than I. Sorry to go on but i needed to tell someone how I feel-which is pretty crap at the mo.
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
i do think u should talk 2 a coucellor about this because i know if u find some1 whos comited suicide u usally get offered councelling, u need 2 get this images out of your mind, all the best jd
 
intelgal

intelgal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
1,413
Location
Yorkshire
AWw Margaret this is really really terrible. Thats a horrible thing to see. I really think you should phone your GPs and get an appointment! ASAP
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hi Margaret,

I'm so sorry to hear what you went through. I agree with the others here in that I think you need someone to talk it through with and your GP would be a good first step. They would also be a good person to discuss what to do next and whether there are any options available for his care beyond / instead off / along side your position of carer (there's no way that you shoudl be expected to care for him beyond the position of being a concerned neighbour).

Obviously they would have to maintain patient confidentiality but they could flag him up with the local psychiatric or CPN team who could then offer some support to him (does he have one at the moment?). I too have been in the position of being in casualty (though it was my GP that sent me there) only to be released as not a threat to myself only to end up back in the psychiatric hospital within the week. This happened though because of my CPN so they can make a real difference.

At the end of the day it's important that you look after yourself and you need to do this - you come first! Remember also that none of us can take responsibility for the choices that other people make.

Good luck, take care and I'm thinking of you,
Honey, :hug:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Margaret he is not your responsibility and if his family ask you to look after him then you are entitled to refuse. Look after yourself, talk to your GP, and get some decent rest.
 
M

margarete1967

Member
Founding Member
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
22
Location
yorkshire
Thank you all for your replies. I think your right,I do need to visit my doctor,things arent getting any easier.
I have spoken to my neighbours family today and they are letting him stay at theirs till Thursday.Then what-I dont know.
I need to get my head round this and Ive tried talking to my husband but he doesnt understand that it is effecting me. Ive told other family members how I feel and they are more understanding towards my feelings.
I will let you know how things go and once again I really appreciate all your words of advice.
Your all so kind and helpful
 
M

margarete1967

Member
Founding Member
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
22
Location
yorkshire
I had a bad day yesterday and so i visited the doctor. My doctor was on holiday so i had to see a locum. i told him what had happened and how I felt. He wouldnt up the dosage on my tablets, just told me events have to run their course, and I am bound to be in shock after what happened.
The only good advice he gave me was to take a back seat and say no to the neighbours requests. Not to take on any more otherwise he will drag me down with him.
I had a visit of my neighbour yesterday-he looks awful. Said he is embarrassed at what he did and cant understand how he went that far.
His family are still fighting for some sort of care for him, but I cant see much happening. All the neighbours have told me that they will be offering help for him and will take him places to take his mind off things. I am so glad that we have a good network of neighbours-they have all been concerned for him.
Anyway i had a good cry last night and really talked things over with hubby,and explained how i really felt. Got a lot off my chest. Feeling slightly better today. Got some chickens and a quail at weekend and ive found they take my mind off things a little. At least ive got my free range eggs for breakfast.
Thank you all again for yor advice.
I know i will get over it in time.
 
intelgal

intelgal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
1,413
Location
Yorkshire
Glad you spoke to someone ! I think its really good advice he gave you. We all have friends some pull us up and others pull us down and sometimes we have to draw a line over what we can put up with.

Take Care
xx
 
honeyquince

honeyquince

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 27, 2008
Messages
1,719
Location
Yorkshire
Hi Margarete,

Well done for telling everyone how you'r feeling about what happened. You know what the say about a problem shared...

I agree with the locum that if you get too involved then there's a risk that it will just drag you down. At least your neighbour is showing some sort of regret for his actions. It's also good to see your other neighbours getting involved - let them take the load and give yourself a chance to enjoy your chickens for a while.

Take care,
Honey, :hug:
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Well done Margarete and you know that since everybody's been consistent then it's good advice. Look after yourself and enjoy your chickens and your quail. They're good company!
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
T Depression Forum 16
Similar threads
Back to square 1
Top