I know self harming is not the answer i'm frustrated with myself for doing it and today made sure I was out and about and had distractions and others around me . Had a difficult time coping at the moment it all seems so black . I'm trying to keep myself together as I know it can impact on my other half when i'm on a downward spiral . He has SAD , anxiety and panic attacks and my low moods can effect him at times . Mostly we are really good together .Yesterday however he drank himself into a stupor as he was so worried about leaving me on my own and worried about me in general i'm angry at myself that my low mood is having that effect on him . I'm trying to keep myself together as we are marrying this year and of course i'm looking forward to it but by the same token i'm in such a dark place that I don't see a future for myself . Been on the Moodjuice site my Doctor suggested I go on while I wait for therapy sessions but while i'm in the place i'm in although any help and advice I recieve from sites and others makes sense and can see it's good advice it seems to have little impact on my state of mind as much as I want to get myself out of this bout of depression nothing seems to be working . Good grief it's knackering and i'm fed with myself .