Back to my pre-teens

[jackshepard]

Hi.
I'm started a new thead, as I just saw the one I opened when I came asking for help is getting very long, and I don't want everyone's attention to focus on me.
Well, as I said in that thread, for the past 10 days, I had violent thoughts like the ones I used to get everyday at about 6-7 PM when I was a pre-teen. I'm crying inside all the time. Even yesterday that was a great day for me (and anyone else) as I went to a theme park near Paris with the sweetest person I've ever met, she invited some of her friends, and I was depressed everytime the 2 couples there kissed each other. Today, that was the bus that never came and I arrived 30 mins late in class. All the morning I wanted to scream and break everything in my college because of these small things. I'm also afraid death thoughts are back, as I dreamt about dying alone from the swine flu (I think I watched the news and "I am Legend" a bit too much), and this morning, the only solution I thought of for my problems was suicide, even with extra meds.

I talked about this to my psychiatrist on thursday, but I got no help from her, except maybe giving me more pills so I lied saying everything else's fine because I'm already sleeping in class with what I take.

 

[Dollit]

Remember how things were just recently when things were good. They can get back there again. The little things can be hard to cope with but you can do it if you practice.

Why don't you open a blog in the journal section? I don't really mind if no one reads mine because I write there for me.

You said you got depressed when the other couples kissed - perhaps it's better to focus on the person you are with and not what other people do.

 

[jackshepard]

You said you got depressed when the other couples kissed - perhaps it's better to focus on the person you are with and not what other people do.

Well, it's kind of hard when one of the "couples" is just two good friends really close and the girl is that sweetest person you ever met.
But I just figured one important thing today: I've got so many feminine friends, I'm just too worried to end a friendship by asking one out, surely because of the lack of friends when I was a kid.

Why don't you open a blog in the journal section? I don't really mind if no one reads mine because I write there for me.

I didn't even kown it was possible. Thanks for the advice.

But I've got another question: My mom's social worker saw her in the middle of a delirium, and asked me to write a letter in order to put her under legal guardianship. I have to write it for tomorrow, but I can't bring myself to do it, even if I know it's the right thing to do, and my psychiatrist thinks it's not up to me to do this because of my mental condition.

Don't know what to do.

 

[Dollit]

Your psychiatrist could have a point. This could be challenged at a later date if someone challenges whether you were competent enough because of your own problems. It's a tough one but if it were me then I'd do it. Sometimes the hardest things to do are the things we should do.

 

[cloudberry]

Threads

If you want to stop it all focussing on you then dont start another thread which continures from the first!

 

[jackshepard]

If you want to stop it all focussing on you then dont start another thread which continures from the first!

Yea, that's what I thought, but I thought a 10 pages long thread wasn't decent, so I decided to create a new one for that paticular problem.
Don't really know how to explain that...

 

[Dollit]

I think what Jack is trying to say is that his original thread is in the introduction and every time he added to it the thread was bumped to the top. People would look at it instead of the newbies. Changing where he put the thread altered that focus. I think it was rather thoughtful.

 

[jackshepard]

I think what Jack is trying to say is that his original thread is in the introduction and every time he added to it the thread was bumped to the top. People would look at it instead of the newbies. Changing where he put the thread altered that focus. I think it was rather thoughtful.

Yeah, that's exactly what I meant.
I just found out people could also answer my journal. That's great, from now on, I'll post here only if I need help/advice.