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Back in hospital/trigger warning

T

TearyEyedx

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I was really depressed on Sunday that I tried to end my life..I went into my bed and after a while my dad came in and my sister took me to the hospital. I don’t remember what happened next, I just remembered closing my eyes and then there was three ecg stickers all over me. I was so depressed because I wanted to speak to my mom. My sister was egging me on to take the overdose. My dad was raging at my mom and sister because I had been in my room with an overdose and no one came in to see me. I was ready to die that night. I heard mom laughing at some point and it Just made me more depressed. My other sister took me to the hospital and that’s all I remember, I blacked out.
I’m still depressed as I haven’t had any contact from the mental health team since that awful appointment.
my sister said she’s going to look into it legally as it has been going on for ages.
my dad was the only one who hugged me when I got home. My sister took me home from the hospital thankfully, I was really grateful for that. I haven’t seen my psychiatrist for months now.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Sorry to hear this. Hope you can recover and feel better soon.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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This should not happen. You deserve so much more care. Thankfully there are some people who love and care for you, and you need to keep hold of that love, that hug, when you are feeling at your worst, because that is what will keep you alive. Any nice words you have ever heard, make them stand out from the bad.

All of the hugs in the world coming to you from me and my cat here next to me.
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

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So sorry to hear this 😢 hope you're feeling little better now. We're all hear for you.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
Hope you feel better soon, it's terrible the care you've received. Have you thought of getting an advocate who can help you complain etc?
Hugs
 
D

Deleted member 91323

Guest
I am appalled one of your sisters encouraged you to take an overdose. I really am so very sorry you felt this was your only option. I know how let down you have been by the so called support worker and mental health services. I am glad your other sister is going to get you more support.
 
T

TearyEyedx

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It’s been two months since that dreaded appointment and not one person from the mental health team has tried to get in touch. Absolutely no one. The morning after the overdose when I spoke to the psychiatrist on shift because if you take an overdose you have to speak to psych, And she asked me if I still felt like ending it, and I said yes and she didn’t seem to really care, as though she wanted out of there as fast as possible. I was sent home the same day.
However that’s not what I’m really mad at. The support worker, the little weasel emailed my mom!!!!! About my care plan without my permission or me knowing anything about that. He emailed her even though I told him to leave me alone. I can’t believe how much this supposed support worker can speak about me without my permission to family members even though I told him I hated him for what he said and I never wanted to speak to him again and even my mom said it!!!
 
O

On Fire

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NHS metal health care is frequently shockingly bad, so I am not surprised about any of this. Sorry though.
 
T

TearyEyedx

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United Kingdom
I have no idea why this is happening to me, it’s just unbelievable!! I got a letter yesterday from the mental health team from my psychiatrist!!! He says he’s sorry I’ve been having a hard time this year but he would very much like to meet up!! But WITH the SUPPORT worker I despise!! I have been in the hospital twice serious attempts and I get that letter, two months since the appointment where I was crying so much I couldn’t breathe outside the hospital because I was really depressed and wanting to change my meds.. BUT he can’t because he wants me to have a support worker to help me through it! I’m pretty sure what they are doing is not right at all!! I told the psychiatrist I’m feeling suicidal over this matter and then this letter came. this is not right and I’ve tried everything!! I’ve made complaints! I’ve tried going to the doctor but they said they want me to go to the psychiatrist!! It’s like a tennis match... just being passed to the next person to the next! This support worker has went so far to even emailing my mom behind my back even though she knows how much this guy is bothering me! He’s a fucking weirdo and I swear he’s done some serious damage to my mental state.... it’s all a game to him. This is my life!! And he goes and tells me, “it’s highly unlikely that a psychologist would pick up my case because of the BPD” I have been looking to change my meds since June or even earlier! But nothing has changed at all... and reading this letter has confirmed they don’t give a crap about me at all...... five complaints! Two attempted suicides... an attempt to get the doctor to change my meds failed ... the universe is telling me that it’s time up.. I don’t care any more about my life and I certainly wouldn’t care if I died today... this letter has depressed me so much that I just wanna go and harm myself because I can’t feel anything anymore..
I don’t know what happiness feels like..
that went away after secondary school..
 
D

Deleted member 91323

Guest
How frustrating! It is unbelievable you are being told time and time again to carry on with the unsupportive worker. How about getting an advocate and taking them along to the meeting so they can speak up on your behalf about how much damage that idiot has done?
 
T

TearyEyedx

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Joined
Aug 16, 2020
Messages
243
Location
United Kingdom
How frustrating! It is unbelievable you are being told time and time again to carry on with the unsupportive worker. How about getting an advocate and taking them along to the meeting so they can speak up on your behalf about how much damage that idiot has done?
I’m not sure about that, because I don’t sometimes understand what other people are saying, and I’m scared of meeting new people because of that bastard.
 
D

Deleted member 91323

Guest
I can understand your concerns. I think it is worth a try because you really could do with somebody supporting you. I too struggle to understand what people are saying. I think if you explain that then the person will make sure they communicate with you in a way you find more helpful. I just do not want you to give up and I do not want that idiot to get away with all he has done to you.
 
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