Awake with severe panic attack

Ell9199

Ell9199

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Joined
Feb 8, 2019
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31
Location
Glasgow
#1
Ok it’s 2:30 am and I woke for the toilet )I hate when that happens) I lay awake for 5mins and slowly felt this creeping on me. Trembling almost shakey limbs in really panicking as I write this. It’s sonlaye I can’t call anyone to distract me. I’ve taken 10mg of diaepam and desperately waiting on them
Kicking in. All the irrational thoughts of calling an ambulance and stuff in my head when I’m know this will pass but right now I’m terrified. I hate this life right now. Am I being punished for something? Why me? I’ve been through enough shit in my life I just want a break :( plz someone help me
 
Ell9199

Ell9199

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Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
31
Location
Glasgow
#3
Also wondering what I have done. Mood was so low yesterday I was tired and exhausted and I was horrible to my now ex partner he dumped me ( don’t get me wrong we weren’t together long and I wasn’t sure on my genuine feelings towards him) just he was supportive and helped in situations like this and I was so nasty and said some hurtful things I doubt I can take back. I basically took out on him my pain and distress. Imma horrible person who deserves this :((
 
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gam9147

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Delaware, USA
#4
Hi ell, I'm really sorry your going through this tonight. Turns out I'm in the US so its not that late yet here, so I wanted to at least post to reassure you that I'm listening and I hope you feel better.

you have to be patient with yourself and others on the healing process. Try not to focus on the negative and allow yourself to feel bad and for it to be OK, just for tonight. You'll make up the sleep another night, and you'll feel better soon. you can make it through!
 
Ell9199

Ell9199

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Messages
31
Location
Glasgow
#5
Hi ell, I'm really sorry your going through this tonight. Turns out I'm in the US so its not that late yet here, so I wanted to at least post to reassure you that I'm listening and I hope you feel better.

you have to be patient with yourself and others on the healing process. Try not to focus on the negative and allow yourself to feel bad and for it to be OK, just for tonight. You'll make up the sleep another night, and you'll feel better soon. you can make it through!
Thank u so much for you’re prompt reply really considering calling an ambulance I’m at that sheer state of panic the now packing my house. This is no life honest to god. You’re so right though tomorrow will come and I will be fine if not exhausted. I’m crying and trying hard to get control of myself l. I don’t know how to regain control of my body I’ve literally had lots of Botox work done on my face inna short period of time, tattoos tomtey mask this feeling as a kinda distraction technique (clearly not helped) I think i have severe issues steaming worse than just panic attacks but scared to say as im a mum. Maybe this is because I took seerealine before bed which I’ve jist started and woke to feeling the affects of that still in my system? I really don’t know I’m sick of this now xx
 
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gam9147

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Delaware, USA
#6
I'm not sure on the why of course, but it probably doesn't really matter at the moment. Your feeling bad, so the important part is just to make it through. Panic attacks always pass remember, they never last very terribly long. Think back to when your last one was, how long did it last? it will subside, especially Im guessing since you took medicine for it. you just need to ride it out, remember you can make it through, and you can always just call for an ambulance in a few hours if it gets worse, but for now just make it through.
 
Ell9199

Ell9199

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Glasgow
#7
I'm not sure on the why of course, but it probably doesn't really matter at the moment. Your feeling bad, so the important part is just to make it through. Panic attacks always pass remember, they never last very terribly long. Think back to when your last one was, how long did it last? it will subside, especially Im guessing since you took medicine for it. you just need to ride it out, remember you can make it through, and you can always just call for an ambulance in a few hours if it gets worse, but for now just make it through.
Thank u so much x
 
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Dan90

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Mar 16, 2019
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Rugeley
#8
Hi ell same problem all. The time have your Dr's said anything they have tried me on a few things now as have border line personality disorder also which doesn't help x
 
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gam9147

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#9
Do you use any particular techniques to make it through a panic attack? What helps me is to get up, walk around, if possible exercise (exercise bike, or walk outside -- obviously hard late late at night). distract -- use music/tv, call a friend, grounding techniques -- stay in the present, feel things, describe items around your room, count backwards..
 
Ell9199

Ell9199

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Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
31
Location
Glasgow
#10
Do you use any particular techniques to make it through a panic attack? What helps me is to get up, walk around, if possible exercise (exercise bike, or walk outside -- obviously hard late late at night). distract -- use music/tv, call a friend, grounding techniques -- stay in the present, feel things, describe items around your room, count backwards..
I try listening to my music A lot but once the panic really sets in I can’t hear the music only my mind screaming at me. I pace about the house I empty clothes and refold them. I play candy crush (that’s actually pretty good) I try say out loud “you’re ok this happens all the time and will pass” I do silly things like put a bit of lipstick on be used I think well really if my body was ready to collapse or dreadful really happen to me I wouldn’t be able to stand and put a quick gloss over my lips lol I laugh now but I’m exhausted this morning cancelled my 10am hairdressers appointment. It’s raining out and I just can’t be bothered now. Ive got a psychiatrist who makes me feel almost silly, I’ve had pretty traumatic 10 years from having PTSD/severe post natal depresression wrong diagnosed by the army ( I served for 11 years) as bipolar disorder. It took 3 civilian psychiatrists to overturn that incorrect diagnosis. A horrendous time coming off a cocktail of medication as u can imagine I’d been taken by that point for years. I’d also possibly suffered a nervous breakdown. So my current psychiatrist who I haven’t long met just acts like well when u have been through all that (and a couple other really horrible events) how do u expect to be? I’m also waiting to see psychology as I know that’s who can help me the best. My CPN is great and I trust her more than anyone right now. I just don’t get why for a good two years I was fine and dealing with life and then boom this hits me from no where. That’s what I find most hard as why could I with all my past have been getting on well. Able to go out, socialise, be the last one stood talking to mums in the school playground to this? Earphones in can’t get home quick enough. Calling ambulances convinced I’m dying. Scared to go out for a drink with friends it’s literally ruining my life. Xxxx
 
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gam9147

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Delaware, USA
#11
Hi ell, I see. That makes a lot of sense in context. Psychiatrists are so busy and booked up often times they are just focused on the medicine and can't help work on the cognitive issues. Sounds like you already realize that though. So yes, a cognitive behavioral therapist is much better in the long run, but you need the psychiatrist to prescribe meds of course.

So perhaps your psych is right but saying it very poorly. you have to give yourself some time to heal and time to work through, and for all of us with anxiety these things can come out of the blue because they are still from unresolved issues that just break through the surface. I am still having trouble with these as well. In your case you have a lot going on and anyone might expet it will take you some time and work until you feel better for a longer period of time.

I hope you feel better today!
 
Ell9199

Ell9199

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Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
31
Location
Glasgow
#12
Hi ell, I see. That makes a lot of sense in context. Psychiatrists are so busy and booked up often times they are just focused on the medicine and can't help work on the cognitive issues. Sounds like you already realize that though. So yes, a cognitive behavioral therapist is much better in the long run, but you need the psychiatrist to prescribe meds of course.

So perhaps your psych is right but saying it very poorly. you have to give yourself some time to heal and time to work through, and for all of us with anxiety these things can come out of the blue because they are still from unresolved issues that just break through the surface. I am still having trouble with these as well. In your case you have a lot going on and anyone might expet it will take you some time and work until you feel better for a longer period of time.

I hope you feel better today!
Yeah I’m feeling a bit better im over thinking a lot and getting myself worked up over things that probably won’t even happen. I have also been asked to take my own picture down from my avatar?? Surly if I’m happy to show my identity that’s a personal choice and the option to upload a personal image not even there? Feel like because I have a mental illness I’m being asked to “hide” and maybe just me tonight but annoyed by this probably more than I should be
 
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gam9147

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Feb 18, 2019
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144
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Delaware, USA
#15
I'm not a moderator on the forum but as I understood the rules, the forum moderators just want to make sure everyone is safe. I think they were just worried that putting up your picture may be too much of a reveal on your true identity and someone could use that to take advantage of you. I'm glad you aren't anxious about that, but I think from their perspective its more liability than anything -- a legal issue.

so I don't think you should take anything from that, I really don't think they are singling you out or anyone else here. I do like the quote on your new avatar though!