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avoidant personality disorder

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Fallen Phoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 15, 2014
Messages
79
Location
Greater Manchester, England
I'd be interested to know if anyone here has APD and if they have managed to overcome it. For as long as I can remember I've always had problems socialising with others. I avoid pretty much every social function outside family events, hate going into shops if I have to go I'd rather go when it's dark out, crowded places, meetings of any form ,struggle to hold a conversation. (even with family memebers and with my 2 former closest friends) friends I have made in the past I managed to push away due to curiosity to why they would interact with me. About the only time I can speak to people is when I know they genuinely need help and they ask me for it, when I'm it that situation I seem to be fine more in my element if anything but once I've assisted ill just dissappear again and hope someone else will need me for something. Even the 2 good friends I had would often pick up on something being wrong and ask if everything is ok I'd just say "yea I'm good" but then I'd just have to make an excuse up and leave. Even posting on here sometimes I second guess myself or delete any entire post. When I have being in situations where would know I am right about something or a worthy fact I could share, I won't put myself forward and rather just let someone else take the floor. For a long time now I have genuinely believed that maybe I am here just to help, of course not at the moment because I'm a complete mess, I'd be no use to anyone. Again it would be interesting to know you're story if you have a similar experience and also if you have overcome it.
 
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Helena1

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
Oct 11, 2014
Messages
10,575
Location
UK
the treatment from what i have read is the same as for social anxiety namely cbt in the uk.
sorry i just realised you didnt even ask that.
 
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maggiex

Member
Joined
Dec 27, 2014
Messages
13
APD was my first diagnosis. At first, I was in denial but it didn't take long for me to realise it was true. I was too scared to go to the doctors for my weekly check up, so my gp used to come to my house. I would suffer panic attacks. I lost all my friends because I was too scared to go out where there would be more than 2 people. If family visited the house (while I was still living with family) I couldn't even go downstairs and see them. I made excuses for not going out. I became agoraphobic. Then my doctor prescribed me diazepam, which was the biggest mistake ever. I became so reliant on it. I was only meant to take a few a day but it soon got to the point where I need a whole box just to leave the house. Now, even though I still need it occasionally, I am not allowed it. I'm glad.
But, I soon started buying diazepam off the street and getting it delivered to my house because I felt I needed it. Then I got caught and police got involved. This was my first involvement with police and it gave me a huge wake up call.
Three years on, I am a lot better. I still have days that I avoid social situations; I still have panic attacks; I still don't have many friends because I can't go and see them(most my old friends are now at uni) and I am no longer close to my family because they've given up on inviting me to events but I am so much better. I don't need medication to leave the house and I try and get involved with events. I started off slow, just meeting 2/3 people at a time but now I can face large crowds. I even planned a night in the town lately with my boyfriend, where we went to a nightclub and a really busy Christmas market. I did this all myself, without the help of any meds. I'm exceptionally proud of myself. Don't get me wrong, it was hard and I felt like giving up so many times.

You don't have to live in avoidance. You can be comfortable in a crowd. It may sound ludicrous now but I am proof that it can happen with time and effort.

:)
 
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