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Autism and Schizophrenia

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llittlelostlady

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Are there any other autist people here?

I am only mildly autistic (mum was NT, dad was a less exaggerated version of rainman, I was once more like temple grandin without the maths skills...my area was more humanities/pscyology/biology/writing) but i have great compassion for those whom are more severly affected.

I am not sheldon cooper from the big bang theory, although I love that series and my faviourte characters are Penny, Leonard and Amy. Also raj..he is so shy he is adorable.

The problem is i have the central nervous system of an autistic person...I have physical sensory issues, I need organisation and routine, I cannot stand people touching my collections (they are like little people to me, some of them even have a perssonality of their own even though i know they are inanimate objects (personification) and i get stressed in a way i cannot explain when they do so), I have autistic meltdowns or I shutdown and retreat from the world, I can't cope with too much physical/sensory stimuli.

I want to be social, I am lonely but sociallising takes energy out of me...in many ways I don't enjoy it, I try but there is so much preesure to kee talking its killing me.

People think that if i am quiet it means i dont like them....that is sooooooooo not true. I can think they are adorable but i just want to be quiet right now or just sit and enjoy my hobbies/interests (i love doing puzzles, I collect jigsaw puzzles...they are beautiful to me and I used to love doing stitching too....I also love research when its a subject that interests me...its so fascinating...right now I am into parapsychology).

Am I alone here or is there anyone else like me?
 
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llittlelostlady

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My voices want me to be more social and its killing me.

I need my quiet time, desperately.
 
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llittlelostlady

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They want me to be a people person, they think my lack of social desire means I don't care and thats not true...
 
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llittlelostlady

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If i do as they wish its too much socialising...too much...too much...,please help
 
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llittlelostlady

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I don't hate all people i just cant cope with them. I need to be quiet I need to be able to enjoy doing some research I need to enjoy meditating with a jigsaw puzzle.

they bring everythign back to myself and I can't stand it
 
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llittlelostlady

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They are obsessed with ego...
 
L

llittlelostlady

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They want my self hatred but they are driving me insane

A jigsaw can be beautiful its not about me, its about the beauty.
 
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On Fire

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I have both autism and schizophrenia also.
 
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llittlelostlady

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my voices have ruined my special interests and keep playing with my pysical sensitivitiers utntil i melt down or shut down

They insist i must socialise 24 hours a day

I am so unhappy as I cant get any space from people or social interaction

It is wearing me down....i cant cop with other humans

I cant cop with their egos.l..


they are obsessed with worthinerss and self hatred and i juyst want to enjoy my interests for what they are

I hate this world, i hate this icivilisation

i am not allowed to just enjoy anything

I cant stand their ego obsession and i hate them all for it
 
Zero One

Zero One

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The voices I have always call me autist and used to call me aspie, before my mental illness I was considered intellectually Gifted with above genius i.q. now I have to fight for my right to not have dyslexia and to be able to remember short term. I have a son who is severely autistic and it runs on his father's side. Anyways sorry -- I felt to say these things even though I'm not yet diagnosed with autism and am schizoaffective.
 
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