At my wit's end...

Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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#1
I think I'm ready to die. I think I want to do it very badly.

People can hear what I'm thinking. Everyone wants to hurt me.

I've written letters. I'm ready.
 
BlueGlass

BlueGlass

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#2
No, don't do anything to hurt yourself. :hug1: you need to get some help right now.
Please keep yourself safe.
 
M

MarlieeB

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#5
You can do this, you really can. You just can't see what we can.

Please stay strong

xxx
 
Wiseowl

Wiseowl

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#6
I cannot hear what you are thinking

I do not want to hurt you and I would miss you if you took your life. :hug1:
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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#8
I'm so scared. I've never been this scared. I'm frightened to leave my room, forget leaving the house. Unless I have appts I don't leave my room. I've covered all of th windows and mirrors in the house. Though they've taken down the ones that aren't in my room. I'm supposed to go to the college to enroll. But I'm too scared.

I'm absolutely really scared.
I don't know what to do. I'm ready to die. I really am ready. I shouldn't have posted this. Because I've upset people.

I'm sorry. So very sorry.
 
Wiseowl

Wiseowl

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#9
Hi Lincoln

I'm not upset that you posted and I'm glad you are sharing your feelings with us.

What is scaring you?

What course are you enrolling on? :hug1:
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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#10
Hi Lincoln

I'm not upset that you posted and I'm glad you are sharing your feelings with us.

What is scaring you?

What course are you enrolling on? :hug1:
Just everything is scaring me. Every single thing. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I don't enroll in college Sue won't want to be my therapist anymore. It's supposed to be an English course.

But I don't even know if I want to go to college. I can't hold a job. I can't do anything. I'm too stupid for everything. I'm so stupid. So so stupid.
 
Wiseowl

Wiseowl

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#11
I doubt Sue would abandon you for not enrolling in college given how you are feeling right now. It's your life and you have to do what feels right for you. :hug1:

You are not stupid. You have mental health issues that get in the way of living your life, it doesn't mean you are stupid. :hug1:
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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#12
I doubt Sue would abandon you for not enrolling in college given how you are feeling right now. It's your life and you have to do what feels right for you. :hug1:

You are not stupid. You have mental health issues that get in the way of living your life, it doesn't mean you are stupid. :hug1:
I just don't know what to do WiseOwl. I'm very upset. Extremely upset.
 
TiredTina

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#13
I agree Linc, Sue wont abandon you, she will understand how tough things are for you and Im sure that she will continue to support you.

Dont be scared Linc, we are all here.

TT xx :hug1:
 
Wiseowl

Wiseowl

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#14
We are here to support you and you know we care about you. :hug1:

It's okay to feel upset. Can cry and let out some the emotion? :hug1:
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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#15
I'm so disappointed in myself for letting my mental illness define what I do.
 
Wiseowl

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#16
I believe MH is a part of us, but not all of ourselves. I do not think you are letting mental illness define yourself but right at the moment your MH is making you feel scared and it's difficult to focus on other things. :hug1:

I am studying a college course and it is a huge challenge but it is also inspirational, it gives me something else in my life besides physical and mental health issues.
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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#17
I believe MH is a part of us, but not all of ourselves. I do not think you are letting mental illness define yourself but right at the moment your MH is making you feel scared and it's difficult to focus on other things. :hug1:

I am studying a college course and it is a huge challenge but it is also inspirational, it gives me something else in my life besides physical and mental health issues.
I can't focus on anything else. I never thought I would be on disability. I'm so disappointed.
 
Wiseowl

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#18
I'm on disability as well. I think some days considering how I feel I do well just to get up and get dressed so try not to be too hard on yourself. :hug1:
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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#19
I'm on disability as well. I think some days considering how I feel I do well just to get up and get dressed so try not to be too hard on yourself. :hug1:
I'm so ashamed I'm on disability.
 
N

Nicola398

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#20
Lincoln, there is no shame in being unwell.You are doing your best, and that is all you can do, don't compare yourself to what you used to be, you are still you and you are still a valuable person, you may have more difficulties and challenges right noe but you can face these and surmount them.Maybe you can postpone enrolling at college for another two or three weeks until this passes.When you say people can read your thoughts, have you experienced this before or is it recent.How long has this been going on and is it making you ill.Should you tell your mental health team?Is this usual for you?I only ask because for me it happens that my third eye is open and people can read my mind and I get telepathic when I stop my meds and usually go into psychosis.