Assaulted and threatened by group in my neighborhood. How do I convince myself I'll be safe?

[TerryClause]

Hi there,

A couple years ago a group of teens/young men approached me in a parking lot, a few blocks away away from my home, and tried to rob me. I was completely took by surprise, and in my panic I freaked out and fought back, which unfortunately only made them more violent and aggressive towards me. I walked away from that incident very upset but did not let it bother me for too long, thinking it was random and I wouldn't run into them again.

A few months later I was walking near the same parking lot and that group recognized me and chased me in a car and then assaulted me. What was really concerning is that there were more people in their group that time. I filed a police report but unfortunately the police couldn't find them.

If anyone can give me some advice on these specific thoughts, which are still causing me anxiety and depression:

-For months I had no clue that this group of people wanted to fight me/attack me...I don't know how badly they wanted to hurt me, and it's upsetting to think that someone out there wanted to inflict serious violence on me: what can I tell myself to convince myself these people couldn't have seriously harmed me?

Part of me wants to believe that these were just hot headed young guys trying to act tough, but the fact that they took it so far the second time, and that they used a car to follow me, tells me that these people might be criminals and were actually trying to seriously hurt me. Because it was a group, I know I couldn't have protected myself, and that is why I'm still anxious - I felt defenseless, and even knowing that I could call 911, I feel scared that I would be alone and no one could help me in time.

-The other thought that causes me major anxiety is this: If I did go back to my normal routine, what would happen if I saw them again?
Part of me believes I would have a serious panic attack or go into a rage and do something wrong. The stronger part of me tells myself I should stand my ground and call the police ASAP, but I have HUGE anxiety about how those people would react, because even if some of them got arrested, I was afraid one of the people in the group would've gotten away and then that person would harass me really violently for calling the police on them.

If anyone's been through something similar (i.e. harassed by thugs who don't know when to stop), and could give me some advice so that I can think logically again, I'd really appreciate it! I used to feel like these things only happen to rough people, but I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time and it's consuming me so much, especially when this type of thing does not happen in my neighborhood. It's very overwhelming to think about, and makes me feel like I'm unsafe, even though this thing is not common in this area.

Thanks!

 

[Tawny]

One would hope these young idiots have grown up and had families/got jobs. Maybe one or all are now locked up, in prison or mental health facilities.

Time goes by, people have children and grow up, move, nothing much stays the same and so hopefully this experience is over and will never be repeated. I'm sorry it happened to you, a couple of my relatives have been beaten up and did nothing wrong, just someone didn't like them or were jealous of them, who knows? it is a very sad thing and i am thankfully i have never been physically hurt.

You could carry an alarm. We have small personal alarms here that people walking at night use, and they are extremely loud.

 

[karl7]

firstly terry i want to say you struck me as very brave standing up to them in the first place.

over the years i myslef have had some thugs assault me when there was no provocation whatsoever. some pathetic people think they get a name for themselves and achieve some status.....sad and pathetic really......i try to avoid those areas where these people congregate.

 

[TerryClause]

One would hope these young idiots have grown up and had families/got jobs. Maybe one or all are now locked up, in prison or mental health facilities.

Time goes by, people have children and grow up, move, nothing much stays the same and so hopefully this experience is over and will never be repeated. I'm sorry it happened to you, a couple of my relatives have been beaten up and did nothing wrong, just someone didn't like them or were jealous of them, who knows? it is a very sad thing and i am thankfully i have never been physically hurt.

You could carry an alarm. We have small personal alarms here that people walking at night use, and they are extremely loud.

Thanks for your response. It has been more than 5 years since the first incident. I think I would have been over it by now, but because it happened near where I live, I always had my guard up in case I ran into them again, as I know that they live in the government funded housing down the road from me.

Because these people were just acting straight up thugish, I put it into my head that they wouldn't have any regret or guilt and wouldn't be afraid of attacking me a third time, but like you said, who knows, they could have just been acting like tough guys, but in reality they could have other prioities that would make them think twice about breaking the law/going to jail. I hope that those people do realize that they what they did is illegal and that what they did would have got them in serious legal trouble. Knowing that they're thugs, it's hard to say if they would consider these things, but I suppose even the dumbest of the dumb know that they can end up in prison for assaulting people. It's disappointing knowing that criminals live near me, but I guess at the end of the day, they're the losers, because they're facing criminal charges. Hopefully they are aware and afraid of that, because I wouldn't want anyone else to be harassed by these people and go through what I did.

 

[TerryClause]

firstly terry i want to say you struck me as very brave standing up to them in the first place.

over the years i myslef have had some thugs assault me when there was no provocation whatsoever. some pathetic people think they get a name for themselves and achieve some status.....sad and pathetic really......i try to avoid those areas where these people congregate.

Thanks a lot. Just want to clarify that Terry is a pseudonym, in case there are any concerns about identity etc.

I totally agree with what you said - These people harassed me and were angry that I didn't stand for it, so they attacked me to seem "tough". It's all that fake, wannabe gangster mentality that lots of dumb young men have in them. Hopefully they're matured and aren't as violent and reactive now, but it's hard to say what people like that turn out, when even as teens/young men they have temper tantrums.

 

[Prettyroses99]

Thanks a lot. Just want to clarify that Terry is a pseudonym, in case there are any concerns about identity etc.

Because of your name you'll forever be Santa Claus when I read your posts.

As for feeling safe. Well no one is safe and you shouldn't live thinking you are because you'll be lying to yourself. I don't walk down dark alleys or in gang zones. It's not safe and you can't expect the police to keep you safe. They're law enforcement and not bodyguards. Everything we do has a calculated risk so just becareful.

We should be able to do anything and go anywhere but that's just not the case. Since you don't know if people will abide by the laws or decide to break them makes them extremely dangerous and unpredictable.

Sucks you live around those tyoe of people.

 

[Argon]

I used to live a in a bad area when I was a kid. I finally had to give up on going outside until after 11pm. I would get home from school and take a 3 hour nap so I could stay up until 3 am and be outside when no one else was there.