• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

ASPD with age

Ras

Ras

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 24, 2020
Messages
1,256
Location
ᛁ ᚨᛗ ᛖᚹᛖᚱᛃᚹᚺᛖᚱᛖ
so something has been on my mind for two days now after the last appointment i had with psychiatrist and case worker. They mentioned how i seem much more calm and less agitated while seemingly having much better impulse control and that can happen with this disorder with age.
i don't ever really read up on mental illnesses or things of that nature because it normally doesnt interest me, so i dont know about others who have this disorder or really much about it besides the basics.
So when i heard this it kind of awoke me and i realize i have changed a fair bit. I am 34 years old now and i have changed so very much in say 10 years.
At 24 i would do whatever i wanted when i wanted no matter who got harmed or what happened to myself. If i wanted something, i took it and i wouldnt even think about it. I have been in juvie and prison over my actions and didnt care if i lived or died if it meant i do exactly what i want. Hell i never really thought i would live past the age of 21 and no matter how badly i got hurt, it never happened and i never took any of it as signs to slow down. I wanted everything and i also wanted to die in what i could only describe as in a blaze of glory and chaos.
but yet my life has taken a turn without me even really noticing. I am not like that anymore. I dont do everything i want anymore and can control myself a lot better.
I guess i also dont really want for things i used to think were most pleasurable.
Now with age i am a completely different person and to be honest that thought frightens me. I have lost myself and become something i never thought remotely possible.
Who knows where another 10 years will take me if i make it that far
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,779
Location
Canada
so something has been on my mind for two days now after the last appointment i had with psychiatrist and case worker. They mentioned how i seem much more calm and less agitated while seemingly having much better impulse control and that can happen with this disorder with age.
i don't ever really read up on mental illnesses or things of that nature because it normally doesnt interest me, so i dont know about others who have this disorder or really much about it besides the basics.
So when i heard this it kind of awoke me and i realize i have changed a fair bit. I am 34 years old now and i have changed so very much in say 10 years.
At 24 i would do whatever i wanted when i wanted no matter who got harmed or what happened to myself. If i wanted something, i took it and i wouldnt even think about it. I have been in juvie and prison over my actions and didnt care if i lived or died if it meant i do exactly what i want. Hell i never really thought i would live past the age of 21 and no matter how badly i got hurt, it never happened and i never took any of it as signs to slow down. I wanted everything and i also wanted to die in what i could only describe as in a blaze of glory and chaos.
but yet my life has taken a turn without me even really noticing. I am not like that anymore. I dont do everything i want anymore and can control myself a lot better.
I guess i also dont really want for things i used to think were most pleasurable.
Now with age i am a completely different person and to be honest that thought frightens me. I have lost myself and become something i never thought remotely possible.
Who knows where another 10 years will take me if i make it that far
"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man." -Heraclitus

if we went back in time to give our previous self advice we would probobly just end up arguing with them lol
 

Similar threads

Top