• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

As a male i'm heavily leaning into typical female behaviour.

FlowerBox

FlowerBox

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I think so. I've looked into it and have found a few psychologist and sexologist offices in my city. I'm gonna try to make some calls and maybe ask if they have any experience on that field.

Thanks again. You are extremely helpful.
Yay! I think it will be a relief for you to really delve into this and be honest with yourself..and oh thank you..I'm glad I can even help at all 🙏

@ManDss to be fair...it seems like @Orzeszek00 has been kind of living this privately for a while now..and hiding it like that can only make one feel more ashamed and embarrassed and uncomfortable..at least that's how I felt when I tried to hide it
But this could be a good place to start, but definitely not ideal for a trans person (from my point of view)

But @Orzeszek00 , definitely be careful with people you associate with..like if you have people who you think would react negatively, it may be best to wait until you can stop associating with them, then you could start incorporating female clothes and stuff gradually into your public self
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Jun 13, 2016
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Hello.
Unfortunately, the problem is that my fascination after i've moved out has only increased. It happened that I ordered some clothes over the Internet and started to do make up. Recently I've completely dressed up as a girl, got a full makeup and as i've been standing in front of the mirror I started to have negative thoughts about myself. The standard - that I'm a freak, that I'm wasting money and time, that I should seek professional help and that it's perverted.
As I mentioned earlier - it has no sexual context. I'm not sexually charged at all while doing those things.
I just feel better, more comfortable. Playing such a "female role" at home gives me a sense of comfort.

As a result, I started to analyze a lot and came to the conclusion that I have done similar things in the past, maybe I will explain. Earlier I mentioned that in high school I was running away into computer games and the Internet. It was during my adventures in forums or online games that I most often pretended to be a woman, or played female characters. That happened even when i've been a teenager, so around 12 to 16 years old.

I didn't enjoy lying to people, but I felt good when someone thought I was a woman. I also remember that in my childhood years, even before moving to another city, I used to sneak up to my mother's and sister's wardrobe and began to try their dresses on when I was alone at home.

I was maybe 7 or 8 years old at that time, so it wasn't a fetish, because I hadn't discovered this part of my life at that age. Again - I felt better then, although I don't remember that period very well. I remember, however, that i've been doing it quite frequently.

Now, as I mentioned, I am already 24 years old, I have a group of good friends and a job - theoretically well arranged life, and yet even today, browsing through black friday offers I consciously browse through women's clothes. Honestly, if I could, I would wear them every day. As I mentioned, it is not about anything unusual(I am not talking about underwear), but about ordinary things like shoes, pants or jackets.

I just don't feel comfortable with who I am and how I look. I do not like what I see in the mirror.

Already in high school I used to buy colorful T-shirts or blouses with flowers, which of course was commented on by friends in a way "I think you stole this blouse from your sister", but back then nobody took it seriously.

To sum up, I think I may have some personality disorder. This has been going on for too long and i can't no longer think that this is some strange period that will pass.

Whenever someone mistakes me for a woman, it makes me feel good, and in theory it shouldn't. For many years I have also been interested in transgender people's stories - I watch their channels on youtube, follow social media etc. In fact, since I was 20 years old I have often thought for myself whether my life wouldn't be better if I decided on such therapy.

In such a situation, would it be best to go and see some kind of specialist, like a psychologist, or maybe a sexologist? I'm honestly very anxious when it comes to revealing this to anybody "face to face", but i think it would be the right step.

Again, thanks for reading the entire thing. If you have any comments or similar experiences - please share. I think it would help me to know im not alone.

If you have any questions - feel free to ask. Im gonna answer everything if that's gonna help.

Thanks.
Hi there thank you for sharing your life story :) As I understand it, you have mentioned this to get a better understanding of yourself... What you have shared has inspired me to ask some questions (a little about me, I'm no Therapist etc. and I identify as a gay male so I can relate a bit about how life can be puzzling at times). Hopefully by getting a better understanding of you, you too will also discover and understand more about yourself, and if you find my questions obtrusive etc. please feel free to respond appropriately :)
Firstly I wonder what inspired you to buy ladies clothing and wear make-up? You mentioned feeling good when someone identifies you as being a woman, I wonder if you could describe in a little more detail how it makes you feel :) I also wonder how you feel about yourself when you are dressed and made up (if you put the negative thoughts to one side), could you describe what it is you find comforting etc. Lastly if we look at the clothes in more detail, are there specific clothes you find more appealing than others... I hope you don't mind me asking these questions, and I hope these questions help in some way... :)
 
O

Orzeszek00

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Nov 28, 2020
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Poland
Firstly I wonder what inspired you to buy ladies clothing and wear make-up?
Hi. Not a problem. I can answer any question, as long as it might be helpful.

I don't remember the exact moment i've decided to do that. Over the last 2 years i've been just thinking about it, almost daydreaming.

Like i've mentioned before, i've been watching a lot of transgender people on youtube and other social media. That kind of gave me the courage to attempt something like that on my own.

There was never like one big moment. I just always enjoyed woman's clothing and i always had some clothing in that fashion.

Recently i had a little bit of extra money, and since i don't see any point in having a job other than pay my bills - i've decided to spend it on something that i had on my mind for a while. That's why i've decided to go "full woman". :)


You mentioned feeling good when someone identifies you as being a woman, I wonder if you could describe in a little more detail how it makes you feel :) I also wonder how you feel about yourself when you are dressed and made up (if you put the negative thoughts to one side), could you describe what it is you find comforting etc.
Sure thing. Honestly, its hard to explain. It almost feels like whole my life i've been trying to solve a puzzle.

Every Time i looked at myself in the mirror - the puzzle felt incomplete. But when i've seen myself fully dressed up and in really nice makeup, it felt like im really close to solving it.

I know it sounds funny, but its really hard to describe. It just makes me happy and comfortable with myself. I like this picture, because it feels like its me. It warms my heart. ^^

Lastly if we look at the clothes in more detail, are there specific clothes you find more appealing than others... I hope you don't mind me asking these questions, and I hope these questions help in some way... :)
Skirt, tights and a blouse. That's definitely my style. That's how i feel the most comfortable at home.
 
Ras

Ras

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ᛁ ᚨᛗ ᛖᚹᛖᚱᛃᚹᚺᛖᚱᛖ
do you feel like a girl? i get you like dressing up in female clothes and even like being mistaken for a girl but do you feel like a girl?
I dont understand why people are saying this sounds like a Trans thing when you never even mentioned if that is how you feel.

To me you sound confused as who you are and like feeling and dressing feminine.
Nothing wrong with that, just be yourself and who cares what others think. You only get one life, you should live it how ever you please
 
O

Orzeszek00

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Nov 28, 2020
Messages
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Poland
do you feel like a girl? i get you like dressing up in female clothes and even like being mistaken for a girl but do you feel like a girl?
I dont understand why people are saying this sounds like a Trans thing when you never even mentioned if that is how you feel.

To me you sound confused as who you are and like feeling and dressing feminine.
Nothing wrong with that, just be yourself and who cares what others think. You only get one life, you should live it how ever you please
Hi Ras.

That's a very tough question to answer. I can't say with full confidence that i am a girl or a guy.

I'm just me, you know. I feel in a certain way, but i don't know how to describe it. I wish there could be a way to tell if my brain works in more feminine or more manly way, but im pretty sure there isnt one (unless we're counting therapy).

I definitely dont like being portrayed as a guy by other people. I've realized it actually bothers me.

If that helps i can share with you my recent experience. I'm working in a customer service. I've been helping one of user's with solving one issue. Even tho i've introduced myself by my real name (which clearly showed that i am a male), this user thought i am a woman and reffered to me as "Ms" throughout our entire conversation.

That genuinely made me feel good. Whenever i've read a message from that user it gave me something like a very soft "chills", but in a pleasant way. Thats the only way i can describe it.

Hope thats helpful. Truth be told i'm very confused.
 
M

ManDss

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This is offtopic, but, anyone also saw Transforming ? Doc about Janae Kroc (borned male), former power lift champion. Great doc.
 
Beorn the Bear

Beorn the Bear

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Dec 15, 2020
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Murkwood
You have a imbalance of feminine energy you can change that with therapy doing affirmations to create a balance between your masculine and feminine selves .
This type of thinking has caused a LOT of irreparable damage to people in the past. Gay conversion therapy still used by christian churches has caused people to commit suicide.

Accept who you are. Love yourself.
Anyone who doesn't accept who you are, well you just don't need or want them in your life do you? ;)
 
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