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arguement (through text) with my best friend :(

P

Pffft

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
1,085
right ... i am going to write up the arguement that happened between my friend... really want to know if i was out of order ... or if i was being fair or not..

it may be long so apologies in advance.

Me: feel as if life is getting worse..
BF: its not that bad...
me: how would you know?

(this was the other night... and i was very shocked and pissed of by this.. so i left it a day because she didn't reply to my message)

me: (said her name)
bf: yeah?
me: just what you said yesterday?
bf:what?
bf: its not.. you could be living in africa etc...
me: nice
bf:dont be like that?
me: its very clear you dont understand depression.. dont worry i wont mention it again
bf:i do understand but youve got to help yourself
bf: dont be going ina mood with me all i said was life not that bad...
bf:you've got good family and friends around you
bf: some people will be left on their own to cope
me: you dont know how i feel.. you make out as if i am fine.. you know i try and explain and you are to busy with your own opinion you dont listen to what its actually like
bf:so your saying ive not been there for you then?
bf: dont listen
bf:i always listen to you
me: youd actually be surprised at how i avoid talking to you about it.. cause when i tell you how i ffeeel you are like "but thats not true" and well actually.. to me. it is true! you dont know what its like and saying the things you do make me feel so much worse. google "things you shouldn't say to someone who is depressed" i bet you will get a big shock!
best friend: (says my name) ive already read them
bf:dont go having a go at me
bf: ive always been there for you
me:im being honest i am not having a go.. and thats what you think? i hardly talk about it with you.. its safe to say you are my best friend and i can get advice about anything else.. but when it comes to depression.. whats the point? you have got your views and even though they aren't right they still dont change.
bf: ok whatever
bf: the amount of times ive put up with you standing me up etc cause you have been asleep
bf: not many people would be like you know what.. its fine.
bf an meet you again.
me: yeah you were good about it and i appreciate that ... but you genuinely dont understand it.. im living it.. and you know my target is to get through the day and take each day as it comes.
bf: whats up with you today
bf: dont go attacking me for nothing.
me: nothing iss wrong ...and im not attacking you.
bf:eek:k im sorry you feel that way but its hard for me to you know
bf: its hard trying to understand someone when you haven't been through it yourself
bf: you would feel the same
bf: i do try!
bf: its not like i dont listen to you cause i do
me: sorry ... just forget about me

i just seem to drag everyone down... this friendship is giving her nothing... but yet at the same time i just dont know what else to do.. she doesnt understand and its so hard.
 
M

metamorph

Guest
Hello.I think its a bit of both to be honest.Good friends dont come along that often and sometimes with a couple of my very old mates (37years one and im 41) ive just let things go.I never talk to any of them about my bpd as they just wont get it.so if im in a shit place i just say im struggling with waves of depression which ive always had.but not to much.
I can see its botherd you.you wouldnt be botherd if you didnt care about them.I think sometimes ive said sorry when its not my fault just to put a difficult moment with them to rest.As theres just to many good times had before to loose it all because of a miss understanding or argument.
Having said that a mate from school days done a dirty on me while i was helping him with getting his love life back on track and he totaly lied to me about what i found out so i binned him.26yrs down the drain But i gave him the chance to be truthfull and he wasnt.And i REALLY dont do liers.dont matter how long our friendship was.he had to go.
That was over 6months ago and im still glad i fxcked him off.His loss.
Sorry isnt easy to say if your not in the wrong.But sometimes its all thats needed to get things back on track.
Hey youve got here to vent and connect with people that are going through simular difficult times If they dont get it.But ild say its still worth keeping your relationship with them.
 
P

Pffft

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2012
Messages
1,085
thanks for the reply :) i have apologized since ... and said that i was harsh.. to be fair though... i know i was harsh.. but the annoying thing is.. what i said was true.. she has been grinding me down so much with her comments.. but i suppose she doesn't know what it is like.. thanks again for the reply :) xx
 
C

cb13992

New member
Joined
May 29, 2013
Messages
1
Hey! I've gone through the same exact thing. Looking at your conversation, I feel like I've had that exact same one. It's hard because people really don't understand what it's like to be depressed and they think that you're being dramatic or that you can just "get over it" when you're feeling bad. But I realize sometimes that I don't even know exactly what I want to hear, like nothing they say is really going to make me feel better anyways. So I catch myself being out of line or asking too much, and I could see that you realized that too. I guess we just want somebody to know that we can't just snap out of it, and just to be in misery with us for a while to let us know we're not alone. For someone who's never been there, it's a lot to ask and a lot to get them to understand as much as we want them to. I do know what it is like, so if you want to talk about it you can post on here or message me. Hope you can work your problems out with your friend!
 
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