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are you your own worst enemy?

mrlaurel

mrlaurel

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Feb 15, 2011
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today I have been a knob, instead of thinking before I spoke, I have upset my mate (the only one I have) I am a grade A prick!

He knows some of how ill I am, so I am hoping he'll just think its the illness and I was going off on one....

so why am I the worst person I know? why can't i be normal and talk normal, stop egtting so angry and wound up about stuff I can't change or do anything about.... I am a nutter, a real head the ball................

after feeling ok for three weeks things are now going pear shaped again for me, starting to break downa nd fall apart. I hate that feeling of "being well" I know it won't last.


stan
 
T

Topcat

Guest
We had a friend for years that definitely had mh issues, I see that more so now I'm older and wiser. He had bad times too, we put up with his paranoia causing him to try fighting my husband (hubby took a punch, grabbed him & sat on him til he calmed down, lol). We had him screaming and swearing outside our flat, hammering on the door, threatening down the phone to rip me & my kids apart (this was from his mum's house, his mum was in the background saying "no you won't Dave, don't be silly" haha!). Suffice to say, he could be hard work, and lost friends or made friends with not nice people. The rest of the time though, he was great. Funny, thoughtful, interesting etc. Did some crazy things.

What I mean by all this is that your friend most likely recognises these things in you, accepts them because he is your friend and will still be there for you after you've chilled again.

Why don't you give him a call or a text & just say sorry for blowing your lid, it was nothing personal and you regret it. It might make you feel a bit better, don't hide away because you feel bad, now's the time to make yourself keep making an effort, it's tiring, but helps more than isolating.

Take care.
Xx
 
OobieMoobie

OobieMoobie

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I think most people, MH issues or not are their own worst enemies. I notice it a lot with my negative thoughts. The paranoia and insecurity is all me and my own brain talk.

Your friend probably understands that you have issues that cause you to behave in ways you don't like. We all respond bad when we're having difficult times. Since you recognise you hurt him, can't you talk to him and apologise?
 
mrlaurel

mrlaurel

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west mids
have spoken to him and he's still up for "helping me out" just think he was having a bad bank day, the stress money puts people under..... he gets so angry at people who don't work and I took it too personal today....

double tramadol is always good for making you not give a fuck what you say, I've also been messin around with my Haliperidol and think thats knocking me about... taking it at night now instead of in the morning..


oh well tomorrow's another day, ding ding!

stan
 
debzerah

debzerah

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Aug 10, 2011
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Hi Stan
Hope to day is a better one,
Sorry - sorry - sorry is a big part of my life, i say it every day and hate myself for what i have said or done to upset my family, friend or clients... i speak without thinking and still have not learned.
people try to take me for what i'am even when the words are coming out my mouth i feel awful but can not stop, i say horrible things when upset, well most of the time really and especially if thing's dont go my way.
a kind of tyrant of rants swearing and shouting cutting and caustic taunts.
sorry sorry sorry and the cycle goes on.
Have a good day stan x
 
K

Katss

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No am not, sorry no. am not my own worse enemy. ?Whats more don't like the inference or question that I am?

poppy
 
megirl

megirl

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Yes, Stan I think I understand,
we are often our worst enemy.
Bipolars like that AND anothers a new day sometimes when things get tough doesnt help as trying the best to get through this day.

Yes I know people in my life think works like that you work and thats how it is.
I dont believe and know in my heart I cant go back nursing it sometimes overwhemes me so much.
I have a hubby who works so very lucky in that retrospect.

Todays been a day I wish it had never started anyway I could have almost killed someone. At least screamed at them. Anyway hope sleep takes all this away,
and hope todays a better day for you
thinking of you anyway,
and I think you are pretty awesome kind of person,
look after you ok,

X megirl
 
S

staind

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your not the only one stan ..to each person
 
Last edited:
megirl

megirl

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No you may not be the only one but fucking heck it feels like it a lot of the time. the isolation, and people say stuff like 'I know what its like'
they dont its like one person who has had cancer saying to another sufferer I know what its like they can understand what it may be like but again (as I often say) one persons suffering is different to anothers.
We are all individuals Stan and yes advice and supports great but the same journey down someone elses path kind of dosnt kind of work.
but again we can support eachother but comparisons dont really work tbh.
We are all so very different but yeh we can be here for eachother and thats the best thing amongst it all
 

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