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Are these feelings a common part of growing up?

A

AuroraPale

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2018
Messages
1
A curious, disturbung sense of a profound loss that triggers rage, deep grief and even suicidal thoughts was a "gift" I first received on my sixth birthday while laying in my bed with tears in my eyes.

Ever since that day, every single birthday keeps making those feelings much deeper and much worse.

I am 22 now and I have extreme difficulty with... What? I don't know exactly.

Something feels off. Wrong. I feel extremely old, I always have felt, eversince I turned six, that feeling never leaves me. When I go through my childhood photos I feel uncomfortable, like that girl is still deep within me, kicking and screaming, being angry at me, judging me for allowing the body to age when it "isn't true, isn't right". I feel that she is still "alive" somewhere in my mind, just beneath the surface, still breathing, still existing, keeping herself hidden and refusing to go away or "blend" with my "current adult self".

I know most of us dislike aging.. But this feels a little extreme. I would just like to know if this is actually a common type of experience and if not, how can I get rid of this annoying and useless and irrational burden that keeps growing each year?
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
43,250
Location
Lancashire
Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. I am sorry you are feeling like this, it sounds chronic. Have you ever considered therapy to help you understand what is going on? It sounds like you need some depth understanding to make it all placed in your mind. 6 is a very young age to have first encountered such problems.

I think listening to that 6 year old and start a dialogue with her and see what she says. Actually sit down and talk as though you are talking to a real person. I used to have a bath and do it there when I needed to work things out within me.
 
Brazenh

Brazenh

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 3, 2017
Messages
55
Location
London
I've had many occasions where I feel like my younger self is asking a lot of why's and what's. I sit somewhere alone and comfortable and talk through it with myself I find thinking it through just makes it worse, saying it aloud just seems to make it clearer.
Sometimes my questions are answered by themselves other times they bring me down.
But is it normal, not a bloody clue I forgot what normal was ages ago.

Hope it helps 😁
 
F

foreverbeach11

Member
Joined
Mar 21, 2018
Messages
20
Hi, I'm sorry you are going through this struggle right now. Have you considered professional counseling? Maybe a counselor/therapist would be able to help you with the feelings you are currently experiencing. I know getting older can be hard and sometimes we age but want to go back to our younger self. Although we can't go back, we can look forward to the future. Wishing you the best.
 
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