Are people with BPD manipulative?

Andrewbpd

Andrewbpd

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freya see your point. but the lecture notes you have seen apear on a projecter screen and are mearly bulet points that are discused during the training
there never intended to be read from one end to another. if you know powerpoint you will understand. because the notes are copyed direct from the slides.
ok i must be on my own here. i have self-harmed to emotionaly hurt and influence someones behavior on many ocations.
eg if you go out i will cut myself... of after the event.. because you went out you made me cut my self.
i have o/d over 50 times yet only 3 genuin suicide atempts. so this must say that the other 50 were attention seeking gestures.
 
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Freya

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Id assume you need to correctly use capital letters, full stops and spell correctly even in bullet points, where is it you lecture and what on exactly?
I ask because you are responding to this thread as if you are an authority on the subject and therefore know better than others but in all honesty I cant take someone claiming to be an authority seriously if they are unable to use basic punctuation.
 
Andrewbpd

Andrewbpd

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so me ability to spell and right affects my understanding of BPD???
i think that remark is shallow.
you may as well say that people with dyslexia are thick.
 
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Freya

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No, but I wonder how much of an authority you are on a subject, not your understanding of your own condition but your 'right' to comment on the condition as a whole and generalise that a "trait" of BPD is to be manipulative. You are more than able to say anything about your own experiences and feelings but to put your opinions across as more of an authority I would expect you to have some proof that you are such not just your word for it.
NB. My partner is also dyslexic so dont start on that one.
 
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Ainsworth

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you show me one person in this world who hasnt ever manipulated a situation for their own gain and i will show you a liar.

i have never sh'd for attention or to make someone take notice, its hidden. my OH doesnt even see it until days after. the Borderline world can be a very lonely place because we cant cope correctly in the real world. we havent learnt the correct social behaviours to be able to deal with everyday things. hence our coping skills (which arent socially acceptable or understood by many)
 
maxitab

maxitab

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Yes, I think we are all in agreement with you there unremarkable, this issue is that it has been said that this is a trait and intrinsic part of BPD, and there are (apparantly) quite a few of us who do not agree....any human is capable of manipulation, peeps with BPD neither more nor less than the average imo.
 
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Ainsworth

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no its not a trait, or a trait i have and im dx under ICD10

if we look atBPD logically i dont see how the borderline can be manipulative the emotional mood swings are to extreme for rational thought imo

when we are highly emotional, we cant reason our thoughts or bring ourselves to point of any control. everything is moving fast and the emotions are physically hurting us and everything is reactional based on what we feel or what is happening around us. the other extreme is to feel nothing and then the sh kicks inbecause we are dead inside.

in both those places i cant see anyone having the ability to think about how they will plan the manipulation of another person
 
Andrewbpd

Andrewbpd

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Well thanks for that!
I suffer from a mild form of dyslexia and you sure know how to boost
Confidence and self-esteem in a person.
I was under the impression that this forum was on the subject of BPD
And not ones ability to transcribe the English language in to text.
When I do the condition management courses for Rethink
It involves service user scribing on flip charts and the first rule is that
We don’t care about spelling and punctuation it’s the content that’s important.
I work for
Rethink
Focusline
Derby University
Partnerships in care
And my own company.

And never have I been criticised or judged on my ability to transcribe the English
Language.
And I really don’t know why this subject has arisen.
 
delatext

delatext

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I think "normal " people can be manipulative depends on the person really, the nurse should have known better but then people get labeled every say unfairly
 
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Freya

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It arose because I asked for proof of the authority you profess to have on the subject of BPD, especially as you are making claims that those with BPD are more manipulative than those who do not have BPD and that it is a 'trait' of BPD to be manipulative.
Im not calling your personal issues into question, only your professional ones. You read very well for a person dyslexia, I had assumed it was severe as even my OH with fairly severe dyslexia (he could not read nor understand this thread for eg) can use full stops and capital letters accurately but everyone has different problems and if your dyslexia is very mild it explains why you would be able to construct a sensible plan for a lecture. Your spelling and punctuation suddenly got a heck of a lot better, so forgive me if I am still rather dubious of your claims to authority on the subject. If you want to say you know better than others than you must expect this to be questioned surely?
 
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cfb107

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Personally I think "manipulative" is a dangerous and negative word to use.

Andrew - if you want to describe 47 OD's that were not "serious suicide attempts" as "attention seeking gestures" then so be it.

Personally, I think: what a shame (and that's an understatement) that you were ever in such a desperate and lonely place as to choose to make those "attention seeking gestures". If you want to call that "manipulation", then it is your call to do so - but to me the use of the word seems like more self-punishment after a lifetime of self-punishment.

Personally I wouldn't call my SHing behaviour - or my friend's, who had it much worse - "manipulative". And I wouldn't want anyone else to. We see so much prejudice from uneducated folks of the non-MH world that the last thing we need is to feel it from one another.

As for "attention seeking" - when I have been (and probably will be) "attention seeking", it has been to try and get recognition for something that was overlooked and I didn't have any help or support with. I don't think of it as "attention seeking"; I was lacking a basic human need, and crying out for it.
 
amathus

amathus

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goodness knows!
Two areas of discussion have arisen out of this thread, those being...attention seeking and self harm.
Whether borderlines are deemed manipulative or not, these two areas seem to stand out in relation to that behaviour.

http://borderlinepersonality.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/04/for-nons---is-b.html

Interestingly the said nurse made that comment about me two years before the BPD dx came along!
But that doesn't mean anything, maybe I was manipulative and I hadn't recognised it.

qf.
 
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flamingo5821

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Borderline personality manipulation is the reason why many doctors refuse to treat them.
 
maxitab

maxitab

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Er...'them'? We are people. And I would like you to read the rest of this thread and gain a little insight. People with BPD do not manipulate any more than anyone else on the planet.....
 
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