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Apathy

I

iheartpandas20

Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2009
Messages
8
Location
Aberdeen
Hello all!

I suffered from anorexia when i was younger and it came back with a vengence in 2007. I was in a seriously bad way with it for about a year, mentally more than physically. my weight went down to 8st7 which was low for my shape and frame, and i felt incredibly ill. After i moved in with my boyfriend i got a lot better - i went up to about 9st5, stopped most of my behaviors,etc.

Now i still feel theres something there, but its not an obsession, its more the way i live. Im not trying actively to lose weight, but i dont eat as much as i should and its creeping off, almost to where i was before. because im eating anything i like, but not too regularly, physically i feel fine. When i eat its fine, and when i gain weight its fine. When i lose weight its fine, and when i dont eat its fine too. However i still hate my body and im losing weight rather than gaining it. I feel like ive just reached this stage of apathy - i know im getting pretty thin again, but it feels kinda good - but not in the way it did before.

Im not sure what to do. i eat when im hungry but thats not particularly often. i dont want to gain weight, but i dont want to get ill again. This part of me still wants to be superskinny! it feels like i still have an eating disorder, but its not very distressing or consuming anymore.

Confusing? any thoughts or opinions?
panda
x
 
D

Dollit

Guest
You do still have an eating disorder - they don't disappear, it's something you carry with you.

Read what you've written, actually read it out loud.

It may not be distressing in an obvious way but it's not exactly something that's sitting easily with you if you feel the need to talk about it.

Go back to your medics and your support team and flag this up before it gets worse. And keep posting.
 
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