Anyone just wait to be able to end the day?

[MikeYST]

I’m new here... and in a real new crushing crisis...
Naturally I feel like I’m the only one who’s ever gone through this and understands

Anyone ever feel like they can’t wait for the day to end? I go to bed earlier every day just so I can stop my head from torturing me
And the worst is when I wake up ( if I sleep)
In a second or two I have to start all
Over again

Seems like it will never be in the past
Mike

 

[Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale]

I used to be that way for a very long time. When I first developed insomnia over a decade ago, I used to crave a good night's sleep. My docs prescribed all sorts of sedatives, which, despite their daytime side-effects, helped me sleep through the night. My problem was that I was depressed, but I eventually found enjoyable daytime activities like math, watching TV, reading. Talk therapy also helped to an extent. You too should try to find at least a few things you enjoy doing, other than sleeping.

 

[MikeYST]

I tried playing guitar yesterday ( which I usually love).
But in a really bad crisis , it’s hard to find enjoyment in anything
It felt stupid so put it down

It’s like.... my depression kicks in and
“ what’s the point in anything”
I go lay down and stare at the wall

 

[Mario82]

Have been there mate, when you feel like there is no joy in anything and you lose interest in your passions, just wanting to lie in bed and stare at the wall. It's really tough. I would suggest try forcing yourself to do one thing every day, just one thing, whether it be shower, cook a meal or watch a tv show episode. Then after a week try to increase to two. Then a week after that three.

Are you on any meds?

 

[MikeYST]

Thanks
Just a real mild dose of Effexor to take the edge off

I’ve always had that feeling even when I was young
“ what’s the point of anything?”
But in a bad time that gets turned up to 11

 

[Mario82]

Thanks
Just a real mild dose of Effexor to take the edge off

I’ve always had that feeling even when I was young
“ what’s the point of anything?”
But in a bad time that gets turned up to 11

Yes I understand, I have had existential and nihilistic thoughts a lot as an adult.

I think the best thing to do is remind yourself that there is no real point to life, but it's fleeting so we might as well try to enjoy it while we are here, just try to do things that bring you some comfort or joy.

 

[MikeYST]

I’ll try
I’ve been trying to read zen books. Honestly I don’t understand a lot of it
Sometimes when I read quotes or advice ( like the cool stuff you just sent me) I feel better while I’m reading it. But 5 minutes after I put the book down... I’m back to my dread. It doesn’t “ stick” or become part of how I think

Yesterday I played guitar for about 2 minutes
Practice guitar while my life is crashing? There’s no point

 

[Mario82]

I’ll try
I’ve been trying to read zen books. Honestly I don’t understand a lot of it
Sometimes when I read quotes or advice ( like the cool stuff you just sent me) I feel better while I’m reading it. But 5 minutes after I put the book down... I’m back to my dread. It doesn’t “ stick” or become part of how I think

Yesterday I played guitar for about 2 minutes
Practice guitar while my life is crashing? There’s no point

Yeah I understand that not sticking thing as well, used to happen to me a lot as well.

I used to struggle to focus on tasks in there here and now because I was worrying about the hard times I might face in the future, so how could i enjoy myself in the present. You think that that too then? I've got a lot better just accepting i can't control the future to any meaningful extent. If you try that as well it might help. You should talk to BetaMale about the zen stuff, he knows a fair amount about meditation etc,

 

[Lavender_Rose]

I’m new here... and in a real new crushing crisis...
Naturally I feel like I’m the only one who’s ever gone through this and understands

Anyone ever feel like they can’t wait for the day to end? I go to bed earlier every day just so I can stop my head from torturing me
And the worst is when I wake up ( if I sleep)
In a second or two I have to start all
Over again

Seems like it will never be in the past
Mike

I do this all the time, I occasionally have a random day where I feel more peppy to do things. But in general infeels like it the daily grind. I recently started painting. I used to go to an art place that taught you how to paint. But with everything being closed down I bought me a few canvases some paint and just do that when I feel the urge. I mean they are no where near as good as the art class ones but it makes me feel slightly better.