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Anyone here not on meds?

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playstation

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In My Mind
I'm having a difficult time tolerating meds, they are making me severly depressed. Anyone not on meds? What are your symptoms and how do you cope?
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

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Hi and welcome to the forum :welcome:
I've been on and off meds for 23 years. I've decided about ten years ago to stay on them for good as I cant tolerate the relapses.
Hopefully some members will come across your thread and offer some advice.
Hugs
fox
 
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harsh-reality

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May 31, 2016
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England
I was weaned off meds and ended up psychotic and in hospital so now am on them for the long haul - I kept asking for changes until the combination of the two medications I now take were effective in tandem for myself. I also gave up alcohol completely because in particular they made the anti depressant totally redundant and iineffective...It seems to work for me now.
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

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Jan 6, 2017
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I had bad depression and psychosis so I was put on an antidepressant first, then eventually an antipsychotic. The depression never went away, I think because I was so depressed and sorry for myself for being psychotic. I thought I was crazy and didn't deserve to live because of it. What finally made me much better was when I stopped taking the antidepressants. Most of the depression went away and all of the side effects disappeared. Then my antipsychotic was changed and much of my negative symptoms went away, and I think because of this the rest of my depression went away. At least that's what I think. There can be some confusion whether some symptoms are depression or negative symptoms of schizophrenia because they can be so much the same.
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

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I cope now the best by trying to maintain a good balance of rest and activity. Back when I sat at home all day doing nothing, I just stewed in my misery and my symptoms were worse. I finally started going with my father-in-law to volunteer at a charity three days a week in the mornings. I think this is good for me because it got me out of the house and interacting with other people. My symptoms got better and I became happier with my life. It also gives me a little exercise three days a week. If I am too busy I get very stressed and things get worse for me so I try to keep that balance of activity and inactivity. I do need my alone, quiet time too.
 
Hopefuloldie

Hopefuloldie

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UK
I have been off meds for over 20 years because I couldn't handle the side effects of Haloperidol so I weaned myself off. The trade-off is that I had to learn to tolerate the hallucinations and mood swings which I usually manage quite well. I find that I function fairly well in the day, but I have become a chronic insomniac because of all the thoughts through the night.
 
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forumuser23

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Jan 10, 2019
Messages
14
I'm having a difficult time tolerating meds, they are making me severly depressed. Anyone not on meds? What are your symptoms and how do you cope?
i can understand the part where you say on not tolerating meds, however, it's important to know what specific medication you had taken or tried that made you severely depressed, because when you say depressed, it makes me think you're talking about the antipsychotics that did this to you. and of course, there are different forms of schizoaffective disorder ( according to general research, however, from my experience, most people fit the stereotypical bipolar type and / or depressive type with hallucinations / delusions ) which i don't have, but this itself may be that im fucking misdiagnosed, because i can't just be the only person with the unique traits that i have and don't take any medications from all the people i've encountered, none of which had the profile i had...

so how do i cope, well, that's all i can do and have been doing for years and everyday is suicidal and torture. i have tried certain antidepressants in the past or other classes of medications, but nothing right now and i do not wish to harm myself further with psychiatric medications unless i plan on reinvesting my life with something different where i'm ok with harming myself and brain damaging myself even more at the expense of having possibly slightly better functioning but eventually carrying on my original intended suicide plan.

i do not have any one who i can really feel supported by, because i haven't met anyone in actual life, in person, online or anywhere who had the specific problems i had and wasn't taking medication. as a result, in order to survive, i sit at home the majority of time, see my therapist twice a week, and try to hope that i can find someone in the forums similar to me. before, i'd go to mental health groups in person forcefully for years several times a week from many different types ( NAMI, DBSA, schizophrenia groups, kaiser case management system, and others ) in an attempt to find a relatable source or support, but never finding so and getting belittled, hurt, taken advantage of others, envying others, and seeing people more fortunate than me and / or who had trivial problems, 90-95 percent or more of them were taking medication and getting the help they need or at least doing better.

and what do i have, a bunch of labels that serve no real purpose other than to show that im severely mentally ill and left out without a proper connecting source, support or people. my diagnosis up to this point were "anxiety", "Depression", major depressive disorder which i definetely have severe depression and anger, schizotypal personality disorder ( specifically the timorous schizotypal matches me the closest ), and also some of hell traits of passive aggressive PD, which to me is the worst possible condition one can have, worse than borderline PD, worse than avoidant PD, worse than all of them, passive aggressive personality disorder is almost like combining all of the PD into one, this is also why i never related to anyone, because most people usually fit a stereotypical mold of traits and didn't have diverse problems like me.

it's stupid enough, i tried to find another venue of support through trying to make an account in saneforums.org, but was denied this because it gave me a message that "it is not available in your country"...., not sure why they have this.
 
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forumuser23

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Jan 10, 2019
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and i forget to mention if i haven't but the last psychiatrist i saw diagnosed me with schizoaffective disorder, depressive type, which is a major reason why i'm here...
 
T

TheBoyWithAWanderingMind

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May 12, 2019
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USA
I'm having a difficult time tolerating meds, they are making me severly depressed. Anyone not on meds? What are your symptoms and how do you cope?
I'm new to the diagnosis of BPD and as of now, I'm currently not on any medication for it. I see my therapist once every two weeks and while I'm not someone who struggles with an extreme case but we'll just have to see where things take us.
 
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BrytonJade

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May 17, 2019
Messages
27
Location
Canada
Man, I been off my medication for 3 weeks now after being on them for a year. Before being on meds, I couldn't think about anyone without feeling like they hear the voice in my head. I was never able to relax like I can't right now; I try relax but every time I'm relaxed it feels like I can hear my thoughts at a distance, the same way I hear people's voices at a distance, it's fucking trippy. I have this constant pit in my stomach caused by anxiety which stresses me out, and what gives me anxiety are these fucking voices and feel like they're gunna hear something fucked up I don't wanna say in my head, like tourette syndrome but telepathy. I absolutely hate being around new people or people that upset my energy.

Fucking wish I never knew what telepathy was. When I never used to hear people, they would put their hands on my ears when I was in church and pray for me. It's fucked up now that I think of it because maybe they were praying for me to become aware that I'm a thought broadcaster and we're all telepathically connected and that they know what I think. It devastated me when I realized we can hear each other's thoughts but I wasn't able to, like a fucking black sheep.

I'm far gone and never returning.
 
V

ValGal

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May 20, 2019
Messages
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Canada
medications are NOT for everyone I have tried so many and they all made me more paranoid because of all the side effects. It is very very hard for my to trust a psychiatrist who went to school for 12 yrs just to sit with me for 15 minutes and prescribe me something that changes my brain without knowing anything about me or my past or if I'm lying etc. Prescriptions are highly about money in my opinion that is why I do my research, lots and lots. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, adhd, bipolar, and I found that once I believed something was wrong with my brain and needed to be on meds for the rest of my life, that's when I really went spiralling. There are so so so many things you can do without meds which act as a bandaid, they are really not healthy for the long term. You have to listen to your body. Our bodies and brains can heal themselves in unimaginable ways. I have been off anti-anxiety medication for a month (had a few panic attacks but feel WAY less anxious), off antipsychotic for 2 weeks (it made me stop breathing at night so I feel a lot better off that), and off adderall for 2 days (it put me into a scary psychosis and I became a hypochondriac). Try Cognitive behavioural therapy or any type of therapy really, or if you don't want to talk to a therapist I journal just like a short page every night before bed and that really helps organize my thoughts and let it all out. Also engaging in hobbies, write down future goals every day (this is so important for motivation), read lots about things that interest you, read about the brain and how it works, and exercise and diet are keyyyy. I didn't believe those things would help in the beginning, I wanted medication to fix me but it didn't so even though it may be difficult at first I believe humans have so much more potential to heal than we're told. Good luck to you! :)
 
R

ramboghettouk

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the worlds full of people who've been off meds for a month and are on about how they're cured and how much better they are
 
C

Cat

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Jul 9, 2019
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All over the place
I've been medication free for about 2 months now. I am not currently psychotic (in the sense that I can distinguish between reality and fantasy), but I do have a single persistent symptom-the voice in my head. I am hoping I'll be able to live without the antipsychotics (as I find the side-effects unbearable), but I won't know for sure until I've tried it for awhile. I suppose its quite a gamble to stop taking them, as I tried to kill myself the last time I had a psychotic break, but I also can't really deal with the effects of being on medication. Currently I am anxious, very depressed (near suicidal), and physically quite ill. I'm desperately looking for something to make me feel well enough to get through the day, but so far nothing comes to mind.
 
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forumuser23

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Jan 10, 2019
Messages
14
I've been medication free for about 2 months now. I am not currently psychotic (in the sense that I can distinguish between reality and fantasy), but I do have a single persistent symptom-the voice in my head. I am hoping I'll be able to live without the antipsychotics (as I find the side-effects unbearable), but I won't know for sure until I've tried it for awhile. I suppose its quite a gamble to stop taking them, as I tried to kill myself the last time I had a psychotic break, but I also can't really deal with the effects of being on medication. Currently I am anxious, very depressed (near suicidal), and physically quite ill. I'm desperately looking for something to make me feel well enough to get through the day, but so far nothing comes to mind.
i still am not getting any answers from anyone on what exactly their experience is for "psychotic break". neither from here and neither from any other forum or place online or in person. can you please explain what happened or what were the reasons for you wanting to kill yourself the last time you had a "psychotic break"?
 
C

Cat

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All over the place
i still am not getting any answers from anyone on what exactly their experience is for "psychotic break". neither from here and neither from any other forum or place online or in person. can you please explain what happened or what were the reasons for you wanting to kill yourself the last time you had a "psychotic break"?
Most certainly I can do that for you. Thanks for your interest. The last time I had a psychotic break the following was it's development: it started out very gradually. I was abusing amphetamines at that time in a major way and was surrounding myself with severely dysfunctional and violent people. At first my paranoid ideation was focused on those very real people and their intentions to harm me. So it started out as a natural consequence of the rather extreme threats I was receiving and the physical and sexual abuse that accompanied that. I also witnessed However, as time went by I inexplicably started to suspect many other innocent people of conspiring against me in some way. I started to think the whole world consisted of people who either had it in for me. I then started to suspect that all of these people knew each other and were in on the conspiracies together. Then I moved and felt okay (although my delusions persisted) for awhile. I kept using amphetamines regularly although nowhere near as much as before. Then I also started to smoke a lot of cannabis. Every day without exception. I met a new man who I fell in love with. He had a strange and isolated lifestyle and had a very dark personality. Then the delusions started to grow in intensity and in scope...I started also dragging my new partner into the imagined conspiracies. I tried over and over to get him to admit that he was in on it all but of course he would not because it was not real. Then a little while later I started getting the idea that the people in the apartment above me were spying on me and laughing at me etc. Later on I believed that I was receiving personal messages from people over the radio and from my computer. Because I felt they were all out to get me I isolated myself during this period and only spent time with my disturbed boyfriend. I rejected all family and many friends for this reason. Then, finally I started hearing voices telling me to harm myself in the most bizarre and humiliating ways. I perceived that these commands were part of some strange initiation ritual into a dangerous and criminal gang of some sort. I performed the acts they were suggesting. I won't describe them hear as I suspect my post will then be flagged and rejected by moderators. The acts were that grotesque. I also don't know how is feel after if I did come out and tell people exactly what I did. The most disturbing aspect was that the voices were telling me we (the voices and I) should go out and very seriously harm others. I never acted on any suggestions to hurt others however. Nevertheless, I am loathe to think what would have happened if my psychosis was not eventually treated. Eventually things turned for the worse yet again. The voices started threatening me saying they had access to my subconscious mind and that they therefore knew what kind of person I really was-which was an evil person according to them. They said the most horrific things ...all the most extreme tortures they were gonna put me through and so on. I believed wholeheartedly in them. There was no doubt in my mind that it was true at that time. Then one night they determined that I was so evil that I did not deserve to live anymore. In fact, they said they were gonna come torture me for 100 days straight. I panicked. I then determined that the only thing I could do to escape it was to end it all. So I immediately went to it and (without getting into detail again) almost succeeded. Had the ambulance come five minutes later I would not be here today. I survived within an inch of my life. At the hospital I had to have massive surgery. When I came out of that I was still terrified of the voices. However, two weeks of massive doses of haldol, tranquilizers, and the kind and supportive ways of truly amazing hospital staff, I came out of the psychosis. I was an inpatient in mental health department for two months after that. Now, two years later I am completing my PhD, working, have good relationships with family and friends, have a super boyfriend, and am living medication free. That's my story. Don't hesitate to let me know if there are other questions. I am very open. Hopefully my post won't be removed as I think it's important for people to know how bad things really can get and also how it's possible to recover from even the most serious psychiatric episodes and disorders. Peace out.
 
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