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Anyone got out of depression? How did you do it?

C

Cloudsout

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2017
Messages
4
Hi, I just found this forum and I am so glad I did. I have noone to talk about this. I have recently acknowledged that I might have a long term depression and I don't know how to deal with it. I tried to get professional help once at an early stage but it didnt help and it was way too expensive. So I am trying to get out of this alone and secretly. Where I live this is not ok and is just a sign of weakness. I am tired of buying self-help books that I get tired of at 1/3 of the read.
I am going in and out of depressive states ever since my baby died when I was 5 months pregnant because of an anxiety attack. I got pregnant again but I spent my pregnancy crying of guilt and fear, and I don't recall being completely happy ever since. That happened 6 years ago. The first years after that I lost the reflect to laugh. I dont thing I have laughed as I used to laugh before ever since.
This late years have been spent wearing a mask at a job that is luckly quite mentally intense and keeps my mind distracted. There I just behave like normal. Nobody gets personally close to anyone, so I dont have to explain anything about myself. So that goes for me.
At home I just consider raising my kids as something I have to do at my best, and try to keep them happy. I never make them know that I am sad. But when I am in some down-periods, I can be get angry with them very fast. But I decided not to make them miserable as I am, it wouldnt be fair.
My husband is in the picture, but we have no relationship whatsoever. We just cooperate in rasing the kids. That makes me very sad and frustrated. I am quite young to just having end that side of my life and with no chance to start a new one. I am not getting any younger, and I just see myself getting fat, ugly and because of stress my hair loss is getting quite evident. I feel worthless. And I keep telling me that to myself on and on.
The thing is, most of the times I cry is because I actually miss the times when I felt happy and relaxed - years ago. And I dont know how to get back there. I just feel that I am condemned to stay in this sadness trap all the years taht I have left and it doesnt tempt to keep on like this. I can't explain any of this to any one. I dont have close friends, and I dont want to bore the people I know - noone wants to hear complaints. My husband is just tired of my ups and downs and I dont bother telling him anythign anymore. My family lives miles away and when I speak to them I just tell them the good news. I dont have energy to spend time with people or meet new ones.
I used to have many hobbies but I just dont enjoy any of that anymore. I actually came across to the thought that it was long ago when I enjoyed doing something.
I would like to get there on my own means, but that begins to seem quite ambicious. I am afraid to go to a psycologist just to get ripped off and getting out sadder than I was, as I experienced before.
Is there any of you that has gone out of depression? Would you mind telling me about your experience? Can one really go out of depression or one just gets used to live with it?
Thanks in advance for any help, i hope the post is not too long...
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

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Jan 2, 2012
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Teesside
Hi and welcome to the forum :welcome:
you cant get out of depression on your own in my opinion. You need support from others around you to help you. You need to start having conversations about your mental health with your family because at the moment they think everything is fine.
It takes time (which is frustrating) and hard work to get stable again but it is achievable. First step is to see your doctor and ask for help.
Hope some of this makes sense.
Hugs
Fox
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

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Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
I don't believe you have to go to a doctor to get out of depression. Your depression started when you lost that baby. That is your key issue. That is what you have to deal with/figure out. If you are not spiritually okay with what happened due to your panic attack, that can block you.

All my depression went away when I became involved deeply with yoga.

I wish you the best.
 
C

Cloudsout

New member
Joined
Apr 30, 2017
Messages
4
Hi, thanks a lot, its good to know that there are tools that work :) i tried yoga once, I didnt go that deep, but trying to meditate just kept bring me back bad thoughts. Is it the physical part or the meditation that helped you? I could consider that again. At the moment i just keep my mind busy to exhaustion not to give room to overthinking, it works at the short run but has its backfires...
And for Foxjo, was it maybe visiting a doctor the first step for you maybe?
Thank you very much for listening!!!
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

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Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
3,364
Location
Pyongyang, DPRK
Hi cloudsout,

As someone who has championed the uphill fight against depression, I'll summarise how I conquered my depression.

1. SEEK HELP. This is the most important step - by contacting a GP or counsellor, you allow a professional to discuss your issues with you.
2. CONTROL. Recognise that you are in control of your future. You are the only one who can change your situation, so if you're not happy with where you are, do something about it!
3. LIFESTYLE. It's important not to let something like depression rule your life. Stick to your commitments and activities, and use them as testing grounds for new ways of thinking and acting - practice makes perfect!

Wish you the best of luck - message me if you'd like to discuss further!

Much love,

R_Sxo
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
17,161
hello

it sounds to me as if you could use some Grief counselling. Losing your baby mustve been extremely traumatic, one of the worst things that could ever happen to anyone.

have you had any, are you on any medication? it can help enormously, even if its short term just to get yourself sorted and issues addressed.

Best
BDU
 
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